What Were You Thinking – Dumb Things Kids Do

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Kids are not normal people.

They spend their life doing some pretty ridiculous things. The worst part is that most of the time they do these things, not because they want to get attention from others – but because they are blissfully unaware that there is a consequence for their action. Maybe it is the same curiosity for life that causes a kitten to dive head first into a window trying to chase a bird, which causes kids to do crazy things. Or maybe the dumb things kids do are simply a way to test the waters of life (and patience of their parents). But for mom and dad, watching from afar, you can begin to wonder if your child is truly okay when they do some of the dumb things that make kids tick. After all, if a child who should know better is going to play in their poop – how in the world are you EVER going to be able to trust that your child can and will make good choices in life.

The following is a short list of some of the dumb things kids do. You know, those What Were You Thinking (Dumb Things Kids DO) moments that America’s funniest home videos is made of.

  • Play with poop. Far too many kids somehow end up playing with their poop. There have been millions of baby, who turn their nose up at sweet potatoes who will take their diaper off and smear poop on the walls near their crib. Okay, so maybe a baby playing poop is one thing. But what about a toddler? The bottom line is that poop stinks, regardless…and isn’t something that normal people have the desire to touch. And, this is one of those things that only kids do.
  • Stick their hand in a potty See above! But really, kids of all ages, all the way through middle school will stick their hand in a potty or stick things in a potty. In fact, the toilet seems to be a point of fascination for nearly all children. There is a reason that potty locks were invented. KIDS!
  • Pick their nose and eat it. Really? Sure, sometimes a nose just has to be picked. Every person in this world has been in that situation, but is it really necessary to eat it. And, this isn’t something that just little kids do. Eating boogers is something that ALL kids do – all the way through high school. Do they taste good? What IS the appeal and what are children thinking when they eat their boogers?
  • Jump off things. Maybe, just maybe – kids aren’t born with a built in radar of heights, because it seems that emergency rooms are always full of injured children who have decided to jump off of, or onto or down from something that shouldn’t be used for jumping. Do children think that their Superman wings are going suddenly appear the minute they are airborne. Even teens, especially those crazy ones that skate and ride dirt bikes are constantly trying to jump onto, over or from things. Umm, hello young people, let’s have a little bit of common sense, here. And thank goodness that it’s impossible to open airplanes once they are in flight!
  • Covering Up a Mess. Kids can pee on the bed, and simply cover it with a towel. They might puke in the sink and simply put some toilet paper on it. They might spill milk on the carpet in their room and make no attempt to even dry it up. They even pee in their pants or poop in them and just continue on as if nothing happens. It’s hard to tell if they are afraid of getting in trouble….or if they simply don’t care.
  • Swallow their gum. Doesn’t matter if you tell a child that gum is not digestible (which it is) a hundred times. They still do it. And, what about kids eating gum off the floor, picking it from the under sides of desks – only to eat it.
  • Put too much food in their mouth. Why do kids feel the need to shove so much food in their mouth at one time that they end up choking on it and spitting it out? Then, most see nothing wrong with eating it again. Not only is it bad matters, but it is just plain gross.
  • Lick things. Kids will lick anything and everything. They aren’t opposed to tasting windows, eating pencils, munching on paper. In fact, for a child sticking things in their mouth is par for the course. Children will even lick their own shoes, and they do this on their own recognizance, not because of a dare. Obviously, the germaphobe gene is not something that is passed down from one generation to the next, but something that seems to happen with age.
  • Get naked. Hello, it is not polite to pee on the bush outside of the restaurant nor is it okay to simply take your clothes off because you are hot.
  • Sniff things. You can tell a child that their underarms stink, that their feet are rank, or that the moldy piece of cheese that has been a biology project in the fridge for 5 months is nasty and THEY WILL STILL SNIFF IT. Is sniffing really necessary? Apparently, if you are a child it IS!
  • Stick things in Electrical Outlets. What is so fascinating about electrical outlets? They seem like the most boring aspect of a home, yet children feel it completely necessary to meddle and play with them on a continuous basis. In fact, an entire baby safety empire has been born, and building codes have been upgraded simply because kids seem morbidly fascinated with electrical outlets. And as a side note, do you know that each and every year hundreds of children are seriously injured for chomping on electrical cords? WTH?
  • Manipulate the parents. What are kids thinking when they seem to happily peg mom and dad against one another. They know its going to start an argument and they know it won’t end well for them, so why even bother. You would think at some point kids would realize that there is no kitty for making mom and dad mad at each other.

And the list goes on and on! So share with us. What are some of the dumbest things your kids have done that had you wondering what in the world they were thinking?

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