If you have ever picked out wall paper, chances are you have experienced a task that is very close to choosing a wife. Some of the papers look beautiful and classy but will make you tired after a few months. Others are too colorful, funky and more are boring and homely. When you choose wall paper you are aware of how difficult it will be to take off one day and so you want it to last. You want it to be good enough that even though it’s not necessarily permanent – it could be something that in 30 years still looks good on the bathroom walls. That would at least save you a big mess and a lot of trouble.
So how do you choose a wife? Just like you do wall paper – do a lot of shopping before hand and take home tons of samples before applying the glue!
What makes a good wife is up for discussion. For some it may be someone who cooks well, keeps the house clean, wants to have children and doesn’t mind a little craziness in the bedroom. She might wear a negligee under her apron. For others it is someone who is just like their mother. Some men are even looking for moms rather than wives. Another man may be led to believe that love, romance and the hot and passionate feelings of dating is enough to cinch the deal whether she can move a mop or not. The fact is that before marriage, you may believe that you are the most liberal man in the world; but once the marital knot comes along, you will definitely want a woman who can be both sex kitten and matronly (just not at the same time)!
Choosing a wife is about being able to look ahead. What is perfect for you right now isn’t going to be the same thing in 5-10 years. If you can take a minute to be honest with yourself about what you feel would make a good wife, resist the urge to censor your qualifications AND leave enough leeway to remain flexible you could probably come up with a good idea of what to look for. Even though you may firmly believe and say that a woman doesn’t belong in the kitchen, there will come a day when you will resent the take out. The other thing to consider is your position on children; from whether to have them or not to how well you deal with them. While all of this is subject to change, most women are pretty clear on what they want and don’t want when it comes to kids. Open the discussion to see how compatible your future landscapes are.
You should also consider money. What is she like with money? How much money does she spend? If you are a tight wad and she is a spend thrift you are stirring a recipe for disaster. Is her financial back ground a mess? Can she hold a job? Does she like to work? Is she self absorbed and used to being pampered? The things that annoy you about her now will be greatly magnified in the future and although these may seem like ‘shallow’ issues but they are not. Choosing a wife, choosing a partner in anything – business or romance, is about being able to see around corners and combine your common sense with your emotional sense. You don’t choose a business partner just because you like them and you shouldn’t choose a wife based on the same qualifications. Building a life together is perhaps the biggest business decision you will make for yourself and can play a major role in your stress levels, future and happiness. Be wise!
What else is important to you? Are you the kind of guy who needs sex 4 times a week? If so, you should be forewarned that as marriage rolls on, other parts of life can come to screeching halts. If you are already constantly trying to convince your lady that you don’t get it enough – take a step back and imagine your life with much much less. Pregnancy, child birth and the trials and tribulations (not to mention the boredom) of marriage can lead to less sex and sexual compatibility is important. Most people are born with a certain level of sexual drive and it is unlikely to change.
When choosing a wife, you should also take a look at her family. Yep! You are marrying them too. Further more, just because right now in this moment she agrees that her mother and brother are life sucking losers…that won’t last. If her family has all sorts of weird quirks and traditions, is overly indulgent or otherwise – this will all become your problem at some point. You have to be clear on what you are willing to deal with and what you aren’t and often the in-laws and extended family can be the deal breaker. Okay, right now your love is so great that you cant imagine anything coming between you – but take it from married people; blood is thicker than water!
Hmmm, this all makes the act of choosing a wife seem like gloom and doom. The trouble with so many couples is that they look as marriage as the answer, when really it is just the part of the equation. In order to get something positive behind the equal sign, you have to know your own formula for what makes a great relationship and what makes you happy. Sure, your wife – no matter who she is – won’t be absolutely perfect for the rest of your life. When you realize this and choose a wife anyways, she will make for good wallpaper. While it might seem shallow to speak of women, especially those you love in these terms – women are doing much worse so you shouldn’t feel bad about. Choosing a wife, if you are lucky is something you may only have to do once and you can bet its much more difficult to get rid of a wife than it is wall paper – so for now, shop around and bring home your samples.