Far too often, you - being the man that you are, assume that the significant female in your life is in the midst of ‘that time of the month,’ or suffering from “PMS” due to the fact that she is less patient with you than normal. Okay, so she’s downright bitchy. Chances are you may have, in the midst of an argument or conversation – even spouted the words…Are you on your period or something, which likely did not go over well at all. The sad truth is that men don’t really know a thing about PMS, or the female monthly menses for that matter, except for the fact that it supposedly makes women moody!
So, let’s set the record straight right here and now. There are plenty of things that men need to know about PMS, some of which can actually save them from coming across like the impatient, insensitive, sex crazed man that they are. But before we begin, let’s make one thing clear. Periods, and the monthly cycle - pretty much suck for a lot of women. Really they do! And the first part of ensuring you are compassionate - is knowing that you truly understand EXACTLY what a woman goes through each and every month. So here it is, plain and simple!
First of all, bleeding profusely is never fun. Imagine walking around with what feels like a diaper, or dry cotton stuck up your butt, and feeling large gushes of warm fluid spewing out of you at random times during your day. Then, just for fun - try to exercise or walk up stairs with the fun realization that this will only make the gushing worse. There is also that annoying thing every month called bloating, which makes your jeans not fit, and your belly poke out making you look (and feel) pregnant. Then to top it all off, diarrhea, nausea, sometimes vomiting, headaches and stabbing pains in the abdomen and back are present for 1 to 6 days at least. Now just imagine yourself at the beach or a pool party, trying to conceal all of this while wearing a bikini.
Now that you are likely feeling completely grossed out, or at the very least compassionate, it is time to discuss the physiology that IS the female body. For most women a cycle lasts around 28 – 30 days. Day 1, is the first day of her period. This is the day you probably want to stay away or at least refrain from being completely insensitive. This whole mess, called a period - can last anywhere from 1 to 10 days. For the women who suffer an extended period of time, life is annoying and often disrupted. Imagine 1/4th or 1/3rd of every month being on your period. And men wonder why the women in their lives are a little off kilter.
Next up comes ovulation. This means that the woman you want to have sex with, can get pregnant. (Bet THAT got your attention) And like most creatures, you will likely find that she is more erogenous during this time of the month as well. Compare it to a female animal going into ‘heat.’ Meaning, sex drive is up…because she is fertile at the time. Normally, women can only get pregnant during ovulation – however, that being said - it is important to realize that the soldiers you call sperm, can live in the female reproductive organs for 1 to 5 days. (Maybe even more). So pulling out and praying, with the resonance that it isn’t her time to ovulate, is not a good plan if you are trying to avoid pregnancy.
Ovulation occurs at the midway point of the 30-day cycle. For most women, this means that she can get pregnant from day 10 (after her period) up until day 18. Yippee! This is absolutely something that ALL men need (and should) know about PMS! Once ovulation is over, it all goes downhill again, as she approaches the time in her month called PMS.
Pre Menstrual Syndrome - Watch Out Men
PMS stands for pre menstrual syndrome, which means that it happens BEFORE she has her period. During this time, her body is trying to figure out if she is pregnant, begins retaining fluids and hormones start tap dancing around at dangerously fast paces. It is mostly the hormones that make women moody at this point. In fact, progesterone and estrogen levels are surging at such an erratic pace, that keeping up with them would give anyone whiplash. And each hormone, in excess, has ridiculous side effects – that range from emotional to physical. The truth is, she just cannot help being impatient, moody, or extremely sensitive, depending on which hormone is dominant at the time. In essence, PMS, the literal meaning of it that is, is worse than any other time of the month hormonally speaking. It normally begins roughly one week before she gets her period. This means you have one week to be sweet enough to the woman in your life, that she actually wants to have sex with you – with the realization that very soon, you may be banned completely from the entire female genitalia due to her period.
And listen, no “what men should know about PMS” article would be complete without reminding you of one very important thing. Ready? Accusing the woman in your life of suffering from PMS just because you don’t like the way she is behaving, is NEVER a good idea. Especially if you don’t know what you are talking about! The reality is that by the time your female partner gets to her actual period, the hormonal roller coaster has settled down quite a bit – and she is just not feeling good. And really, how would you act if you had to spend 1 – 10 days feeling as if you were being stabbed with knives, AND bleeding profusely? See….it really isn’t her fault. Cut her some slack.
You also shouldn’t accuse her of having PMS or being on ‘the rag,’ just because she doesn’t agree with you. There is nothing that irritates women more than being accused of being unstable, witchy, moody, and mad - just because of her period. Remember, that it could be she really is upset and her mood has nothing to do with hormones and everything to do with you. Look, most women don’t expect men to tippy toe around them when they do have PMS or their periods. They just want to be left alone, to feel miserable and perhaps for the man in their life to realize that being a woman, isn’t always a walk in the park!