The American Psychological Association study on levels of happiness indicates that married people are in fact happier than their single counterparts are. For most people, happiness is measured by a number of factors.
If one partner is aggressive and the other passive, the passive partner may feel frightened, bullied and abused. Each partner will use what he or she has learned to balance the conflict and power.
Relationships where both partners are fearful of really talking and listening to each other, struggle to grow and change. Even though on the surface it appears all is OK, underneath there are often many untrue assumptions on which your relationship is based.
John and Sue each held the remote that could trigger each other’s anger in a heartbeat. Their fights were sometimes about serious issues like parenting their children or how to budget their money, but more often were about small stuff.
If you are one of the lucky ones in this world, then you have married into a family in which you get along well with the in-laws. Prior to marriage, it is difficult to see just how large an impact that the extended in-law family, from brother/sister in laws, to cousin and parent in laws, can have on your marriage.
In 1955, the movie The 7 Year Itch was released giving some plausibility to the reality that perhaps after 7 years of marriage, something psychological sets in, and marriages are tested and tired.
Her dream vacation is to sit Oceanside with a good book in her hand, while listening to the waves rush into the shore, margarita in hand – enjoying the solace of life without conversation. His, is a trip to Vegas staying up all night taking his chance at the Black Jack table and spending the days cruising the strip on his Harley. Should this married couple take separate vacations?
Some people seem to have a high sex drive that keeps their bedroom antics alive several times per week, while others are lucky to get in a quickie once a month. And of course, there are thousands of relationships that are suffering from a lack of sex so long over due, that a deep valley of physical and emotional disconnect has formed that neither partner knows how to bridge.
What happens when you say or do something that your significant other thinks is wrong – but you feel is right? Then, what happens when you hold on the stance that you are not apologizing, no matter what – because you don’t feel that you did anything wrong?
Robert Buchicchio (MSW, LICSW, DCSW has a BA in psychology from University of Rhode Island and an MSW from Ohio State University.
Article: We Never Fight! But we Never Talk!
When marriages go bad
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