Arranged Marriage Facts

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Comments (2)
  1. KTM says:

    You just forgot the pressure most people suffer. Parents talk to their children about that when they are kids and teenagers. They talk about honouring parents and not bringing shame to the family. Most will feel the pressure as adults. Also these parents usually consider that everybody wants the same thing they want to.
    Since most of this marriage happen in very conservative societies and some see marriage as an obligation, the couple will stay in the relationship no matter what.
    Don’t be naive. If love and satisfaction don’t happen, most couple will stick together.
    Most Muslim women after decades of marriage, will not say they are happy. They say they should be thankful. Many Indians will talk about karma and not having other options…
    This tradition is very common in extremely patriarchal societies, and have bad effects for most women and the societies they belong to.

  2. Laurel Leigh says:

    One of the major points of dispute I have with this article is the definition of a successful marriage through comparison of western to eastern statistics on divorce If a poverty stricken uneducated woman was browbeaten and coerced into an early, unwanted marriage with a man she barely knew, and was raped on her wedding night to produce an unwanted pregnancy resulting in an unloved child, and she remained trapped as a prisoner of social pressure and economic need for many long unhappy years until she finally died, would the fact that there was no divorce put her union into the category of a successful marriage? According to the above statistics you might think the author included her on the plus side of the ledger due to her non divorcing status. If a poverty stricken man reluctantly married a woman to gain her meager dowry and enjoy some scullery maid and drudgery services by day while he uses her body to satisfy himself sexually by night, and he availed himself of her, he may be existing as a married man on paper but is he truly even in a relationship, or, for that matter is he truly even living life? Where would anyone find a western man to gladly endure a lifetime of uncaring disinterested and half hearted sex and yet want to remain married? If a man here in USA thinks his woman is delivering mechanical, non participatory sex, he will want to get a divorce. Men I have known are not going to spend their entire life trapped by social pressure to remain married with a reluctant woman. Men in more educated classes are sensitive to a woman’s dullness of spirit and intellect, her uncaring heart, her cold lack of desire and enthusiasm A marriage is not about unhappily passing all the days of ones life in close confines with a resentful, ungrateful woman trapped by children she never truly wanted who is only remaining married on paper because she has no legal avenue to divorce or because she sees him as a bill paying service. Is that what the author would term a successful marriage when someone is only passing time with you because of legal inability to leave, economic need, social pressure or domestic violence threat? Long term endurance of mediocrity can hardly be equated to marital success… ones lack of ability to stand up to parental pressure would not translate to a happy life. The term “pragmatic marriage” almost sounds like advanced buying and selling, not a relationship. If you have a finite ration of days in your life, you cannot sacrifice everything to satisfy aging parents. Did you ask to be born? No, you are alive because of a choice someone else made for their life, to procreate. Your life was given to you by God, you don’t owe anyone so much that you should to expend your personal ration of time on this earth unhappy on a daily basis. You are a person who deserves happiness. Its your life, live it happily, every day. My personal advice on divorce is much like my advice regarding investing in the stock market- when you find yourself in a losing situation don’t throw good investment after bad. If you have ever known the stock market many people do get into a failing rescue psychology to recoup their losses but wise investors call this a mistake. When divorce, you are wisely cutting your losses because your days of life you spend unhappy are forever gone from you.

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