Janet peeked in the living room and sighed. Her husband, Mike, was still at the computer playing EverQuest. He’d been sitting there over 7 hours now, despite her repeated pleas for him to quit and come help her with the housework.

She walked slowly back to the kitchen, trying to remember when things had started getting crazy. He’d been interested in video games as long as she’d known him, but never obsessive. A friend of theirs had told Mike about EverQuest, and he’d gone online the next day to check it out.

It wasn’t until a few months later that she started to suspect he might have a problem. He was spending more and more time at the computer, talking to her less, and rarely wanting to go out. When he was playing he wouldn’t get up to eat or go to the bathroom. Lately, it had gotten really bad. Mike was using his vacation days to play, and she was a bit worried that once those were used up he wouldn’t go back to work. She had the sinking suspicion he’d been playing at the office, and that his work performance was going down. It was only a matter of time before his boss found out.

While Mike’s case may sound extreme to many people, to anyone that knows an addicted gamer Mike’s story will sound all too familiar. Very little research has been done on the topic of video game addiction, but most experts agree that it’s a fast growing problem mainly affecting males aged 18-30. Stanford University recently did a study on game addiction and estimated that almost 6% of the population has a serious addiction. Case-in-point, last year video game sales outstripped the Hollywood film industry, grossing over $10 billion. That’s a lot of games.

While any type of video game can become addictive, it’s the online games that have the highest hook factor. They’re called Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing games, or MMORPG’s. Players log in and play against hundreds of thousands of other players from all over the world. With complicated levels, extraordinarily in-depth characters and no real “end”, these games have been dubbed “heroinware” by gamers. They also have chat features that give players a level of interaction that can’t be found in at-home game consoles like PlayStation. EverQuest and Warcraft are two examples of popular online role-playing games, with millions of users registered for each.

Think it still sounds mild? EverQuest has been blamed in at least two deaths. One, a 21-year-old Wisconsin man who got hooked on the game, watched his life fall apart over his addiction, and shot himself at his keyboard with the game playing in the background. The other was an infant, whose father was so addicted to the game he fatally neglected his child.

While these are extreme cases, the average online gamer spends 3-4 hours per day logged into the game. And that’s the average. Many spend upwards of 8-10 hours a day playing, forgoing social experiences in the real world for the power and prestige they hold in the fantasy world.

So what are the symptoms? How do you know if your child or spouse has a problem?

For children:

• They’re spending increasing amounts of time after school on the computer.
• They’re grades are going down, they’re falling asleep in class, and not keeping up with homework and projects.
• They prefer to play video games instead of playing with their friends.
• They’re angry or touchy when they can’t play.

For adults:

• They’re spending increasing amounts of time playing, to the detriment of their home or work life.
• They experience feelings of intense pleasure or guilt when they’re playing.
• They think about playing the game when they’re supposed to be doing other things.
• They’re unable to control their habit, and can’t seem to stop.
• Their online “life” replaces interaction with people in the real world.
• As the length of their playing time increases, they often neglect personal hygiene and meals.

As you can imagine the consequences of such an addiction, while not as dangerous as drug or alcohol abuse, can still be devastating. The impact on both children and adults is high if left unchecked. Children that forgo social interaction with their peers to play video games are missing out on important life skills. They don’t get enough exercise, which can lead to obesity, and can have poor posture, back, and neck problems from prolonged sitting. Adults can see their life crumble as gaming takes hold. Jobs are lost, marriages dissolved, and kids are neglected due to the addiction. Do a Google search on gaming addiction and you can read testimonies from ex-gamers all over the world, many who had to quit when gaming almost ruined their life.

It’s important to realize that if you have a spouse or child who plays video games, it doesn’t automatically mean they’re addicted. Most people handle gaming with discipline and know when to stop. If you see any of the above symptoms, however, you should seek help for them.

Getting the gamer to realize they have a problem will be the first, and perhaps hardest, step. Finding out the underlying issues to their game addiction is key in recovery. Do they lack social skills in the real world that the game is replacing? Are they depressed and the game gives them a sense of control that their real life is lacking? Once the true culprit is diagnosed, finding ways to meet those needs in real life will be the next step. Joining a support group is often vital to success. Online Gamers Anonymous (www.olganonboard.org) can be a great resource. If you’re a spouse of a gamer, you can reach out to other “Gamer Widows” at www.gamerwidow.com. Talking about the problem often spurs action and recovery.