In today’s society, Valentine’s Day has been coined a “Hallmark Holiday.” It is truly a day where the greeting card business really rakes it in considering that over one billion greeting cards are purchased solely for Valentine’s Day. Over 85% of that one billion are purchased by women, by the way.
More and more couples are opting not to celebrate the day. In recent history a lot of its meaning has been lost and many people feel it is now a holiday promoted just for commerce. I know that I certainly don’t need a day to remind me to express love to those whom I cherish. However, understanding the history and the meaning of the holiday adds relevance to it and makes it more suitable for celebration.
Valentine’s Day originated within the Catholic Church in honor of two saints, ironically both known as Valentine. Both saints became martyrs after imprisonment and torture, and both saints died on the same day, February fourteenth. There is very little accurate historical documentation on either saint, although they each have artifacts carefully enshrined for generations upon generations to view and appreciate.
Because of the lack of accurate historical data and the remarkable similarities between the two saints, many experts suspect that both Saint Valentines were actually the same person. Both saints were gracious physicians who administered to the impoverished and often didn’t charge those who were too poor for their services. They were both remarkably gifted and were credited with miracle healings of their time.
Saint Valentine of Rome was slaughtered for administering medical care to imprisoned martyrs while Saint Valentine of Terni was said to be imprisoned and killed during the persecution of Emperor Aurelian and was able to lessen his torture by healing the jailer’s blind daughter, though he ultimately paid for his beliefs with his life.
There is little crediting documentation that can be applied to Saint Valentine of Rome. Most statements that claim to be able to shed light into his persecution and death are quite conflicting, although there are no reports of valid encyclopedic nature that dispute Saint Valentine of Terni was murdered in the middle of the night, secretly, in order to prevent an uprising by his supporters.
The evidence seems clear that perhaps these two men were in fact one man, although there are time line issues that don’t quite add up. It is certainly possible that two men with remarkable qualities were both persecuted for their deeds and eventually made martyrs of which prompted the onset of St. Valentine’s Day.
Whether the information is accurate or a well spun tale of the service of others, Valentine’s Day was intended for more than just romantic dinners for two and flowers and hearts. It was intended to celebrate the goodness within individual choice and valor. In fact the name Valentine comes from the Latin word for valor which literally translated means worthy. It is supposed to be a day when we question whether we are worthy of the gifts bestowed upon us and strive to become that person of valor.
Valentine’s Day actually took on a romantic nature somewhere in the high middle ages. Traditions such as writing notes of affection or leaving little gifts came about as well as the custom of pulling names. A boy would pull a girl’s name from a drawing and there were several ritualized customs performed to ask the goddess of fertility and sex for ample healthy offspring.
A few basic traditions included the males running naked through the streets offering prayer while pregnant women, single women, or women hoping to conceive would “accidentally” run into these naked youth and ask for a fertility blessing.
Fortunately today, we don’t rely on naked men running through the streets for our fertility needs, but it would be nice if there was a higher awareness of at the very least the basic meaning of the holiday.
The Saint Valentine spirit is one of kindness and generosity. It is one of open heartedness and servitude. It is one that recognizes the value of the needy and the importance of charity with honor and respect.
The notion of sending cards to our loved one is based more on humility than on romance. It is a gesture meant to say, “I appreciate your love and I hope to care for it eternally. I appreciate you and you matter in my life.” It is a time to connect with ourselves and ask ourselves if we give our loved ones and our families the attention and the respect that they deserve or if we have grown a bit self absorbed over the year. If we have deviated from behaviors that we are proud of, once a year we can revisit them and see where we have grown and where we can continue to grow.
While treating a loved one to a dinner out is a beautiful expression of love, Valentine’s day is more about reminding us to pitch in when we come home and our significant other is busy at work creating nourishment for the family. It is a good time to grab the kids and keep them occupied with love or to step up and help with the food preparations. A card and a ring are beautiful expressions of love, as is every day check in moments to make sure your loved one is okay and happy. This is the true spirit of Valentine’s Day.