You arrive at the hotel on your wedding night and your husband eyes you suspiciously when the porter wheels in your suitcase. It’s one of those oversized suitcases that attract a lot of attention in airports.

“Honey”, your husband says teasingly, “we’re only here for a week, you know. Looks like you packed the entire bedroom.” He winks at you, a hint of mischief in his smiling eyes.

You can’t answer him or look him straight in the eye because you realized that you had forgotten to pack something. You managed to squeeze in the bigger items into the suitcase but...the smallest and lightest item didn’t make it. For your wedding night, this tiny item was supposed to be the sweetest prelude to your passionate love making.

You forgot your black thong. Of all things.

When you showed it to your mother, she looked at it with disgust, and said, “why bother wearing anything at all?” Your kid sister giggled and your best friend twisted your arm to buy it. “That’s the best investment you could ever make on your wedding night”, she said sternly.

That’s fine. If you didn’t bring the thong, your old pair of boxer shorts will do. Save the thong for when you need to buy fine china and your husband says no way. You can wear your thong and make him change his mind then. There’s a reason for forgetting the sexiest things on your wedding night.

The Perfect Wedding Night

People have different views about what makes the wedding night a perfect one, but what tips can we give to a virgin? Yes, many women are virgins on their wedding night, and it can be a nerve-wracking experience for them. We know that in some cultures, mothers are just a phone call away to dish out advice.

• Relax and don’t let your nervousness get the better of you. Console yourself with the fact that there’s no such thing as the perfect wedding night because it happens only in Hollywood, 95% of the time.
• You may be comfortable sleeping in an extra large T-shirt with flannel pajamas but try to remember that your wedding night is your initiation into a life of sex and “other stuff”, so wear something that will excite your husband. If you have no idea what to wear on your wedding night, speak to a lingerie expert in a special boutique or ask your married friends, what kind of night wear would make a man go wild with desire? (pretend they know the answer).
• Try not to eat a very “garlicky” meal before wedding night. Order room service and if wine relaxes you, order it and share it with your groom.
• Put on some music, some sweet scented candles and remove all make up from your face. Believe it or not, some men actually get excited at a squeaky-clean school girl complexion.
• If your husband is a sensitive creature and senses your nervousness, he won’t push you. If he’s a smart one, he’ll know what to do. Besides, you love him and know him. It’s not like you’re going to be intimate with a perfect stranger, so enjoy the evening and don’t tense up when he touches you.
• If both of you decided not to have children right away, make sure you took your contraceptives or brought your birth control device.
• You or your husband can suggest a video or browse over some magazines to set the mood. Welcome the “warm-up” session.
• There’s absolutely no need to rush. You don’t have to dive for the bed right away. You can kiss and caress anywhere in the room for starters. Some couples seem to like the kitchen a lot...
• Experts actually recommend giving each other a massage to soothe the tensions from the wedding hoopla a few days before.
• Don’t try to camouflage nervousness by laughing all night. You can’t giggle uncontrollably when you’re intimate. It’s a huge turn off, according to some men we’ve talked to. “She just kept laughing, couldn’t stop. I was beginning to feel like I was carrying on awkwardly or maybe my body parts were mangled.”
• and this advice from Susan Sardone: “...if the sex isn't the greatest thing you ever experienced, don't fret. You've got a lifetime to perfect it.”

Wedding Night: Too Tired for Sex?

A few of our friends actually confided that they were too zonked out on their wedding night that there was not an ounce of romanticism or eroticism left in them. The rituals prior to and during a wedding can zap your energy. Wedding experts advise therefore that if husband and wife are feeling exhausted on their wedding night, they should postpone intimacy until either the next morning or the next evening.

Taking it slowly, not doing anything ambitious and simply swapping some funny stories could ease the pressure of “performing” in bed. You can be honest with each other. If you’re too tired for a whole night of sex, say so. Maybe your spouse will be just as relieved.

Given the inordinate amount of work and planning a wedding entails, don’t make up for the “no-action wedding night” by planning a whole string of activities the next day. Even if your honeymoon is the perfect spot for water sports, don’t get tired all over again. The morning after your wedding night could be spent just lazing around. This way you give your mind and body the chance to recover from the wedding frenzy.

One essential tip for wedding night: no matter how tired you are, take advantage of your honeymoon by making all five senses come alive. This is a simple strategy that is not strenous at all. Be aware. Come alive. This means doing things that will appeal directly to all five senses. Do them even while you’re doing other things or spending some down time together out on the veranda.

• Sight: wear something sexy, smile your most seductive smile, pluck some flowers
• Smell: put on some candles, wear his favorite perfume, splash on the aftershave and cologne she loves
• Taste: lots of wine and chocolates (oysters, if you like them – they’re supposed to be aphrodisiacs)
• Hear: play some romantic songs; slow instrumentals can wake up tired spirits
• Touch: how about some silk, or bare skin?

These are all subtle triggers for romance. They say it’s not the sexual act that matters most, it’s how you get to the act!