All across this world there are women pacing through their houses, driving their souped up mini-vans down the road wondering how they can break it to their husbands that they just no longer want to be life partners. Many of them have been mulling this over for years upon years; while others are just quite upset because of a forgotten anniversary or manly idiosyncrasy that seems to be occurring much too often! These poor women have tried withholding sex; have even turned themselves into evil, nagging women that resemble their own mothers in the futile attempt to make their husbands say it first but so far no luck! Just like everything else; they must do it themselves! The question is how you tell your husband that you want a divorce when turning into a horrible wife just won’t work!
The weak at heart or those who have combative and argumentative husbands could send them an email or slip a little note in their briefcase. This way they will find it when they are away from home and you won’t have to endure hours of talking about it. Oh, how women hate that. Those that are braver could simply take a sharpie marker and draw it backwards on their windshield. This would give them something real to think about on the way to work in the morning. Those women who are neither shy nor brazen could simply tell their’ husbands boss or best friend hoping that they will slip and break the news before the wife actually does. This way there is no bad guy (except the poor soul who blabbed). The last method can even be retracted if the divorce request was just the result of an irritated moment and to save face you can tell your husband that their boss or co-worker was hitting on them at the time and that’s why they told them that!
Many women have had what they thought were private conversations with their friends only to find that at soon as their husband walks in the door their sweet little angel of a daughter says ‘Hi daddy, guess what Mommy is divorcing your butt!’ That one never goes over well and isn’t recommended.
It might be a cute and romantic idea to introduce the idea of divorce with the same smoothness that your husband introduced marriage. Just try to be sober! Perhaps an airplane flying over your house with a banner that says ‘Joe, you are an SOB and I am out of here’ . Love Edna’ would be nice; especially on a Saturday when you just know your husband will be sitting on their riding lawn mower, pot belly hanging over their shorts – with a cold beer in their hand. How attractive is that anyways? Don’t forget the smiley face at the end of the banner as they always add a nice touch. If none of these ideas seem to suffice than you could just simply disappear as fast as the money in the checking account, leaving a note on the stripped down pillow in the bed you used to share! A bit cowardly; but does the trick!
For those women caught up in the sentimental pity that thinking about divorce often causes; the question isn’t how to tell your husband you want to divorce; but whether or not you actually want one! This question can be answered pretty easily as well. If every time your husband walks in the same room as you, you feel your blood pressure rising than it might be time for a divorce. If sleeping next to him or the thought of him without clothes makes you feel as though you just ate a rotten egg sandwich; time for divorce. If you spend endless hours every day feeling like you are in prison; dreaming about what life would be like on the other side or blaming the man in your life for everything from your wrinkles to the’ C-section scars on your belly’ time to think about divorce. Double checking life insurance policies and wondering how long it will take your husbands smoking habit to catch up with him more than 5 times a week may also mean that the marriage is over!
Let’s be realistic; there isn’t a person alive who doesn’t have their breaking point. After 20 years with the same man who leaves his dirty laundry in the same place and always forgets to put the toilet seat down; things can get old. When they still don’t understand that having a beer with the guys on Friday IS NOT more important than coming home to help with the kids and that a real compliment has nothing to do with the food you resentfully cooked him for dinner or the hot body on your best friend it may be time to move on with things. No matter how much time you spend with someone there comes a time when lack of respect, love, intimacy or emotion leaves a wife empty. The sad part is that women put up with it for years and years. Most women try to make the best of it and try to talk it out with the men in their life; only to be met with rolling eyes or ‘can this wait till after the game is over!’ By the time a women is thinking about how to tell their husband they want a divorce; there is usually very little that the man can do to change their mind! It’s all too little too late!
Regardless of how you do it, telling someone you want a divorce should be something that is only said when it is absolutely 100% the truth. It is one of those statements that can’t be retracted once it is said and changes the course of the relationship forever. The choice is yours; make it funny or crazy, daring or smooth make it sassy or bold or even sappy and sad! Just make sure that if divorce is what you dream about you do your self a favor and find the words to make changes in your life that will leave you happy. Life is too short to waste time in a bad marriage!