Kicking Your Teenager Out – Dealing with Unacceptable Behaviour

I am not a strong advocate of booting kids from the home. While there is some behaviors that may warrant kicking your teenager out, this is not something that should ever be entered into lightly, or without great consideration for the consequences. When we have children we bring them into this world, and our families, for better or for worse and kids under the age of eighteen deserve a chance to make mistakes at home, where the consequences of their behavior doesn’t have to create nearly insurmountable challenges for their future.

When you ban your kid from the home, you are setting them up to opt for a few choices, and none of them are offering them a bright and beautiful future. If they are still in high school, they are going to have to secure a place to live. This is not an easy task when you aren’t living somewhere to begin with. Most kids who are given the boot stay with friends for a little while, but they can quickly wear out their welcome. They need money and they need it fast in order to feel as though they are surviving “this” and thus options such as prostitution and drug dealing suddenly become much more viable.

If we can consider kicking your teenager out to be the punishment, then we have to weigh it against the crime. Knowing full well that we are emotional beings, there is going to be a much more significant emotional impact on the kid than there will be a physical impact on him. What crimes can your kid commit against the family that warrants being homeless and out in the world alone without any preparation? We have to take this in two separate “crime lists.”

Let’s start with the crime of Being. The crime of Being includes those kids who are kicked out of their home for who or what they are. Whether they are told to leave because they are not like they were expected to be or can not be as they were expected to be, these kids suffer greatly because it’s not a behavior that was rejected, but who they are. Gay kids, kids who refuse to “follow the family footsteps,” and kids who are have to take large risks just to keep their heads above water are most likely to find themselves homeless before the age of 17. Kids who are pregnant or who have gotten someone pregnant fall into the realm of the crime of Being as well as the crime of Action. This is often because parents who respond this way do not necessarily see the result of the action as an error in judgment, but parents often refer to their pregnant daughters and guilty sons as sluts and well, worse. This leaves the child with the notion that it is not the action, but who they are that is being punished.

If you are dealing with the crime of Action, there are other methods of not tolerating a behavior than removal from the home. Kids may be seriously messing up left and right but there are almost always other answers. You’ve watched his grades slip, found all the evidence you need under his mattress, and of course, you can tell on the rare occasions that he talks to you that he is either stoned or high or both, and no matter what you do, he insists on bringing drugs into the home. You’re in the military, the police force, or any other line of work that would not only find you homeless but also out of a job should any controlled substance be found in your home or on your property. This makes for a pretty serious crime of Action, and it may even seem like to save the rest of your family, you have to push one out the door. Psychologists have found that kids who are using drugs increase their habit by nearly 30% if they are kicked out of their home.

What about the kid who is violent? Or the kid who is terrorizing the whole family? What about the kid who refuses to go to school, refuses to get a job, and steals money no matter how clever you think you are when it comes to keeping it hidden? These are tough cases. At seventeen, your kid should know better. How did this happen? If you kick him out, then at lest you know you aren’t enabling him.

These are tough calls to make, and there are good arguments for encouraging parents to take a hard line with their kids. Yet there is direct and solid evidence that shows most kids who are in danger of being kicked out of their own home are in these situations for a reason. The almost guaranteed result of kicking your teenager out is that the situation will get worse. By shunning them, you are telling them that they are not even worthy of being part of the family, of being cared for or cared about. By forcing them to leave, without a steady income, a reasonable place to go, and a way to take care of themselves, you are setting them up for failure and everyone knows it. You are literally telling them that you do not care what happens to them and that their problems are bigger than you and your family.

In our society we have available for every family, rich, poor, and in between, a place to get professional help. Even if you can’t afford it, there are places out there that can offer help. Most parents who kick their teenager out aren’t doing it because they don’t love their children, although that is exactly what the child will think. Kids get kicked out when the parents have reached the end of their rope and it is a last ditch effort to force them to get some help. The kid on drugs might need a warm place to sleep so maybe the harsh reality will jump start them into rehab, right? The kid without an education or a job will probably opt for one or the other, right?

Wrong. Kids in trouble stay in trouble and most often make their troubles much worse when they can’t do something as simple as live at home with their family. Stability is one of the factors that can help a kid come out the other end of a really rough time in his life. Kicking your teenager out is not only likely to exacerbate his problems, but leave you with an enormous feeling of guilt. At the same time, kicking your teenager out isn’t going to provide your kid with the boundaries they need to become the successful adult they still have the potential to become. Frustration, anger, resentment, and even uglier feelings like momentary flashes of rage or hate are common in homes with distressed teens. These are emotions that are momentary and that will pass. Forcing your teenager into homelessness is an action that can have irreversible consequences.

18 Comments
  1. When the child refuses to respect health, dignity and safety within the family , then kicking the teen out the door is perfectly reasonable. I would do it without hesitation or guilt. The problem is that some parents mistake inconvenience with what their responsibility of raising a child is and guiding them into adulthood so that they can be independent. Teens will be naturally rebellious and have attitude, but when a certain line is crossed they need to be given the altamatum to get the f@$k out until they choose to follow the minimum rules of respect for everyone’s health, dignity and safety. The love for a child is only as meaningful as the love you have for yourself. And a child will see right through your bullsh!t if you have no respect for yourself. Children respect those who have boundaries and respect for themselves. It’s that simple.

  2. My son has been arrested 19 times and he just turned 17. Won’t go to school, won’t follow rules and when I ground him he goes behind my back. I have other kids in the house and they are seeing the issues. Soon I worry I might be going through this again. I need help. Work is impossible because my home and family are a mess. I fear the worst every time he walks out the door. Everyday is a fight just to want to come home. Counseling, doctor visits, and many trips to the police station and courthouse have not helped. I’m at a loss! He wants to move out but I don’t want him to think I gave up on him. Plus I fear being in trouble for him leaving. He does want he wants and could care less what anyone says.

  3. I have a 17 year-old daughter who is rebellious. She comes and goes as she pleases and is sometimes gone for days at a time without answering her phone. I raise her mostly on my own as a single mother and receive some help from friends and family when I reach out, which is no was feat. Everyone has their own lives and their own problems. This is a difficult time in our lives. My concerns lie in the realm of her justifying her behavior to the point where I actually understand where she is coming from. It is because I understand that I find it hard to set clear boundaries. Too much empathy makes for weak parenting skills. You’ve got to set clear rules verbally to start, and remain consistent. This is not easy however it is the best advice I’ve gotten and am trying out.

  4. My 16 year old was using cocaine. Coming down she was violent and I had to remove myself and the younger children from my home, for safety. She went to detox and came out to repeat the behaviors. It has been a two year battle and I can not legally force her to do anything.
    So I gave her the choice. Come home from your drug dealers house to talk to me, or I change the locks. She chose to stay there. There comes a point where teens need to realize that they are not entitled. I have a right to be safe in my home, and a responsibility to keep my other children safe.
    Ultimately, everyone has free will. If there is a blatant disregard for family and authority, why enable it? I gave her the choice and she didn’t come home. Now, to come home she has expectations to carry through on. She isn’t willing, and that is her choice, but there is no way that choice will come at the expense of my household.

    1. Good for you this article Seems so easy, I need to see numbers stats to back it each direction those that got kicked out those that gave up their life to deal with one child while others suffer I told my daughter clearly I will sacrifice her to save the other four, why should 80% of our time be focused on her daily I personally think this article is bunk.

  5. My daughter that was a teenage parent twice before the age of 17 has kicked her daughter age 16 out because she is pregnant ! She has cussed and said awlfulll things to me and her best friend for comforting her daughter . I am so sad over her actions , when all I have done since she had kids is help her raise . I am done helping my daughter she really has shown her seldfishness

  6. Our daughter is 19. She skipped more classes her Señor year than she went to. Yet, we found her a scholarship at a small college to play Lacross. Two weeks before she was supposed to leave, she told everyone she was not going to college because it was not for her. Instead..she was out smoking pot, drinking, and we found out later .doing cocaine.

    She went from living at her mom’s house, to moving in with her uncle, then back to her mom’s house, then to her Grandparents, then another uncle. After she was kicked out of her Uncles house she ended up going into rehab. She came back from rehab a “changed person” and moved back into her mom’s house. Everything was great for at least 30 days. We had her enrolled in a local community college, found her a part time job, and had her attending her IOP meetings on a regular basis.

    Now three months from that time she is back on drugs, lying to us about working, having her friends lie to us about what she is doing (including devising a schedule telling us where she is at..when she is actually with them smoking pot.). She has pawned stuff from the house, and posted things on Craig’s list to sell. I know people want to tell you that “I would never let my kid do that to me,” but until you are in that situation, you have no idea how to handle it. We decided we just can not live with this anymore, and decided to change the locks on the door. Her response? To call the cops on us to say we were not letting her get her stuff the day after she never came to pick up her things when she was supposed to. This is definitely nothing that we took lightly, and did everything that we could to help her out, but sometimes the best thing to do is let them find a way. I am sure things will get worse in the beginning, but that is the only way for them to get better.

  7. I agree with almost everything the author writes. But, there comes a time when every other person in the house is in imminent danger. My 17 yr old started dealing drugs after 3+ years of us getting him inpatient, outpatient, residential treatment, family therapy, marriage therapy, etc. for treatment of his substance abuse. We are not wacko parents – we raised him right, taught him right from wrong, disciplined him and loved him. We watched him get indoctrinated into the National Junior Honor Society, and then completely reject his family and our values/rules. Now, we have meth dealers and addicts coming around our home and neighborhood and none of us are safe from our son when he is tweaking and when he brings dealers and clients to our ally. Tell me Professor’s House – you would not take action to have this person removed from your home?

  8. I was reaching out to the Internet for answers and came across this site. I have a 16 soon to be 17 year old son whom I love dearly. He is the youngest of three and his sister 19 and brother 23 are doing exceptionally well although there were rough times. He went through a nasty divorce with me and his mom a few years ago it should have been simple and ended quickly but she dug in and it turned into a custody battle over my son which I won. Everything was fine up until the first of this year when he got a new girlfriend. This child has carried a 3.5 out of 4.0 GPA up to that point and is one project away from being and Eagle Scout. This girlfriend is a complete loser, has no dignity or self esteem. Now all they do is come in and have sex and smoke pot. He missed over 30 days of school this last semester and came up with a 2.25 GPA now his overall has dropped to barley 3.0. I am getting calls from parents saying they found pot on their kid and when asked where they bought it they say my son and his girlfriend. I had a talk with him as we have a good relationship and he said he would stop but it is getting worse. I smell it in the house, in my car, everywhere. I tried to explain life to him and he just gives me a doe in the headlights look and goes on as usual. I am going to have to get hard with him but also if it continues and gets worse I am considering the ultimatum of comply or find a new place to live. I hope he matures soon and it does not get worse.

    1. Not sure where you live but I posted about my daughter middle of last year and have her now placed in a therapeutic group home through brooklane Mental Health Services it sucks that I have to pay child support to the state of Maryland but if it helps my daughter become a productive member of society it’s worth it.
      You can’t do it alone you have to get County and state resources to help you even if it means calling the law taking them to emergency rooms or whatever

  9. Enough…My 15 year old son has always been a problem. At age 2 he started acting up. Pushing and biting other children on the playground. Never had any respect for authority, parents, teachers, principle, etc… Since kindergarten he has been in trouble in school everyday. Everyday, mulitple times a day I would receive phone calls from the teachers and principle, child study team, other parents, etc… We raised our child in the right way. Loving, caring and supporting house hold. Always encouraging him to be the best that he can be. Telling him at the start of each day that today is a new day. Let’s leave what happened yesterday in the past. Started high school last year and was placed in a behavior program at a local high school. One month in he was kicked out for repeatedly being disrespectful to staff, students and refusing to do the work. Was home schooled for 6 weeks then sent to an alternative school. One month in he was arrested at school for drug possession blaming a fellow student for passing him the drugs which he kept in his pocket instead of turning them in or throwing them away. School gave him second chance and allowed him to come back only to get kicked out for repeatedly being disrespectful the staff, students and refusing to do the work. Was sent to another alternative school where he did not attend regularly. found with me every morning and threw tantrums and broke things in the house and punched holes in walls refusing to go to school because he was too tired. Climbs out windows in the middle of the night while everyone is sleeping, stays out all night and sometimes doesn’t come home. He is on probation and has to report to a probation officer weekly. Mandated by court to attend and successfully complete a drug and alcohol counseling program before he can be successfully released from probation. Has been unsuccessfully discharged from two programs for repeatedly testing positive for marijuana. Now in a third program if he does not successfully complete this program judge will mandate juvenile detention or in house treatment facility. All the years we have been seeing therapists for his diagnosis of ADHD/ODD/Mood disorder. No one can help us. He is getting worse and worse by the day. Everyday, there is a cop or a parent or an older teen at our door looking for him. Always in trouble. Selling pot, stealing from our home, hocking our jewelry stealing cash from his parents and brother and from guests in our home and from our friends homes. Today like every other day he called me (his mother) a fucking retard one too many times. Tonight I couldn’t take it anymore. I threw him out of the house. I have had enough and really don’t care what happens to him.

    1. I have a 14 year old who was diagnosed with ADHD/ODD/IED when he was around 5. Since he was little he’s had no respect for authority, argues with everyone, blames someone else when it’s his fault. He gets in trouble at school for disrespecting authority. He got 2 days suspension in the 3rd grade. Last year he had 250 conduct points 1/2 way through the school year. They gave him 2 days OSS & 2 Saturday detentions. He got a referral in OSS. I’m a single mom & he’s had no father figure. Half of my family never wanted anything to do with us or be around us because of his behavior. It’s only gotten worse since he’s a teen. He won’t help around the house & just makes messes & expects me to clean them up. Not to mention talks back & is disrespectful. We’ve been in & out of therapy since he was 5. Nothing has helped. It’s only gotten worse. I’ve taken everything but the basketball hoop out front away from him but he doesn’t care.
      He now calls his grandparents & makes them think I am being cruel for taking his things & not buying him the food he wants from the grocery store. They come over & bring him food or ask me if they can come take him out to eat like I’m starving him. They tell me I’m administering cruel & unusual punishment for benching him from playing in his basketball games & making him feel like a prisoner in his room when I ground him.  He doesn’t listen to me anymore if I say he’s grounded.  He says “no I’m not” & goes outside to play basketball or goes to a friend’s house. He says he’s not grounded because the reason I’m grounding him is stupid. When I take something away he gets mad at me & starts trashing my house, goes around & turns all the lights on in the house to make the electric bill go up, bangs on my door or makes noise in the house when I’m trying to sleep at night just to annoy me. I just want him out of my house but he has no where else to go. I told his grandfather to take him if he’s going to stick up for him but he doesn’t want to have to deal with him. How does he think I feel having to live with this every day? It’s horrible to feel so out of control. To let a child rule your life. The therapist says kick him out. I’ve looked into that but its child abandonment. I’ve looked into places to send him but it cost money that I don’t have. I feel so helpless & rather than have the support of my family they are on his side & say I’m a horrible mother.

    2. anonymous – I can totally relate! My son has been diagnosed with ADHA/ODD and Depression. We have been dealing with him since the 9th grade, which he failed 2 of the 6 classes. Failed both of his STAAR test. I heard him telling his friends he slept and the last 15 minutes just filled in answers. I think the other teachers just gave him 70’s so he could pass but he didn’t earn them. Mind you – up through the 8th grade he received above average = Advanced on ALL STAR state test he had taken. So, I know he failed on purpose. Went to summer school and failed. We found out he was smoking marijuana with his friend in the woods. They would tell us they were going in the woods to make ramps and jump with their BMX bikes. We were happy it seemed he had a hobby and every once in a while we would go in the woods and check on them. Didn’t seem anything was going on but what they said they were doing. My son was very active in baseball and was even on a year round select team which we traveled state to state for him. He is a left handed pitcher and his dream was to become a MLB player. Which we believed in his dream and did what we could to help him live it. He was caught in school with dip(chewing tobacco) the first part of the school year in 2014. So, I cleaned his entire room out, (from his name brand clothes, his colored socks to all his baseball, karate, swim trophies and others) and just left him the basics, dresser, bed and some generic clothes with the school logo on it. He is my son who is into fashion and likes to have the name brand things. I really thought this would touch him and teach him a lesson and he would realize we are serious about drugs, any kind! He continued playing baseball and now was in the 9th grade and in the baseball period at school. October of 2014 he complained of his throwing elbow hurting when he threw. It tingled down to his fingers and then got to the point it hurt just to pick up a bag of groceries. Long story short – he ended up having Tommy John surgery on his elbow a week before Thanksgiving and that is when all hell broke loose! He couldn’t ride his bike in the woods anymore so we caught him smoking in the upstairs bathroom that him and his older brother share. We confronted him and he was like – so, what are you gonna do about it? My husband, his dad, travels out of town quite a bit for work and I am home with him and his older brother myself quite a bit. Because of this, I am a very stern parent! We have been very open and honest with our kids and they know we will not deal with drugs (it’s illegal) and alcohol until they are of legal age. So, finding out he was smoking was a huge shock to us. He started rebelling at home and would refuse to do anything! He wouldn’t do his classwork and was a disturbance in school, he refused to do any of his chores or clean up after himself. All he wanted to do is come home from school and eat and sleep. Would get up, eat and go back to sleep. We changed the wifi password so he didn’t have access to the outside world but there was nothing we could do about when he went to school and had wifi. I took his phone and turned his phone plan off so he couldn’t make calls or use our data plan. When he found out he became furious. He ended up getting another device from a friend and was using accessible wifi to contact for drugs. When he was asleep I was able to get his device and found instant messages on there about buying and or swapping drugs for drugs. He was accessing them at school. He was becoming more and more confrontational with me at home. He would go through stuff and try to find things he could sell. (can’t prove it but we think he took money from us) He refused to go to school and I tried to call the truancy officer to see what to do. My son kept saying he wanted his stuff back in his room, I wasn’t allowed to just take it. Of course I would explain he was wrong – all he had in his room was more than I was legally bound to provide. He would throw fits and punch holes in the walls in his room and in our upstairs hallway. He would get in my face to the point I was afraid he might do something to me. He would flip chairs, throw things and punch more holes in the walls. He threw our remote to the TV and it smashed into a 1000 pieces on the tile floor. He took a bat to our freezer outside and would take off for hours at a time with out permission. He is bigger than me now and there was no way I could stop him. I would threaten he would be grounded longer if he left and he would just be like – whatever! I would ask him to please think about what he is doing and to make the right decisions – that this behavior was not the way to get his privileges back including his phone. He would just leave. One December morning, on a Monday he refused to go to school again and he became VERY violent. Thank goodness his dad was home this time. He actually went for a gun and a knife and his dad was able to stop him. (yes we have a full big gun safe now) I called 911 and when police and ambulance arrived they heard some choice things from him and had no choice but to take him to the pediatric psychiatry ward at a local hospital. He was handcuffed and taken in the back of a police car as we followed. The pediatric psychiatrist on duty said she didn’t see anything wrong with him and he was released. I was at a loss for words! Everything we told her happened and the police told her – she released with no follow up or plan in place to help us??? Really?? That was Monday – by Thursday he was refusing to go to school once again and being very violent stating he wanted his stuff back. He took my phone and stated he wasn’t going to give it back until he got his back. So, of course we were trying to get my phone away from him. He ended up throwing it across the garage and him and his dad wrestled a little more. His dad was just trying to get him to calm down. He then came in the house and grabbed his dads phone and it all started again. I ended up with a very bruised hand and even thought my pinky might have been broke. (it wasn’t) People would ask me if I had gotten into a fight and I would lie and say my hand got stuck between my wall and frig when I was trying to pull it out to clean. That same Thursday we ended up telling him we found a new place four counseling and it was actually a rehab place for drugs. Of course when he found out he was being admitted and the exit doors were all locked he became verbally abusive. Called us terrible and the worst parents in history. Began to curse at us and I put a stop to that right away. I told him I didn’t care what frame of mind he was in he would not curse at me, I was still his mom and he would respect that! He quit cursing and just said how much he hated us and he was gonna just be worse when he got back home. He was there 12 days and released the Monday before Christmas. We even went to his friend he would go in the woods with and spoke to his parents and him and he denied they ever got high or did anything like it. DENIAL was the game with them. We had Christmas at our house that Monday and traveled to another state for our older sons baseball tournament after Christmas. We stayed with relatives for Christmas and everything seemed to be going great. He was on meds for his ADHD/ODD and depression. We THOUGHT all was going good until we learned Jaeden was smoking again and misbehaving in school. He had stayed the night at the same friends house and I just had suspicion something wasn’t right. Call it mothers intuition or whatever. I called the mother of the boy and began asking questions. She didn’t want to believe her son was involved but was willing to check a few things just to entertain my suspicion. I asked her to check his window sill in his room for footprints and to see if the screen had been removed. I thought I had heard them talking about sneaking out. His window was low to the ground on the first floor and faced the front porch. She didn’t believe they would sneak out and kinda laughed it off. After about an hour or so she called me back and she said she just couldn’t get it out of her mind so she called her husband who was home that day and asked him to check around the window and for the screen. When he did he found foot prints on the sill and on the porch and the screen was gone, which they found hidden in the garage. So, they started searching his room even more and found a good size bag of marijuana under his bed with a bowl to smash it up with. I don’t know the actual name for it. Also, found the pipe they used to smoke it as well. Needless to say it got ugly in there house after that. This was in April of 2015 – we decided he needed another trip to rehab. He refused to go to any or his medical appointments by this time and was again refusing to go to school. We actually even found a counselor that would come to the house because of this. I called the same hospital he was in the past December and they said they had a bed open and would hold it for him since he was a previous patient. We just had to get him there. This was the problem – he was too big for my husband or I to just pick up and put in the car or we were worried he might jump out. Again, the police were called, this time the non emergency line and they said they would send a unit out to help. Well, here comes an ambulance and police all with sirens on – great! Now, all our neighbors are outside wondering what is going on. After several hours of talking with the paramedics and police, one police officer finally got permission to take him to the door of the hospital so he couldn’t jump out. He was there this time for 8 days and released. Again, we thought all was going to be good but he just played the game to get out quicker. Long story short – everything and more happened again (involving the police several times again) and by October 2015 we were looking for a longer treatment place for him. He was 16 by this time and we wouldn’t allow him to get his license because of everything he was getting into. He admitted he didn’t want to stop smoking, he enjoyed it. We knew he was on the verge of failing his classes again. We contacted our insurance company and with the help of them and researching places ourselves found a place we agreed on and our insurance paid 100% of. He was there through that Christmas and New Years when the insurance cut him off. The Dr’s, his therapist and us all knew he was not ready to be released after just 3 months. He had made advances in the system to just fall back to a lower level again. We were not in a position to pay $500 a day for him to stay. He was released in January. All seemed to going well. Few little mishaps here and there by NOTHING like before. We always told him we didn’t expect him to be perfect but NO DRUGS what so ever. We found out he was doing Lean at school. A drug I had never heard of nor had my husband. More research to do. His friends were finding out and their parents wouldn’t allow them to hand with our son anymore. He was seeing a psychologist once a week then it became every 2 weeks. She ended up telling us not to come back because he told her his job was a drug dealer. What psychologist just up and fires their patients without referring you to someone else for help. I was so pissed off!!! More and worst things started happening and still are happening and we want to kick him out. My husband caught him and different boy on the back patio smoking a bowl when he thought we wouldn’t be home for a while. He is back to smoking and doing other drugs now and again being a disruption in his classes and not doing his work. Actually took the worksheet he was supposed to be doing and folded it into a paper airplane and flew it across the room. (he was on drugs too) The same day, just last week he went nuts and destroyed part of our house and attacked his dad several times. We knew he was on something the moment we saw him. Eyes were dilated, speech was slurred and movement was weird. I ended up calling the police again. Same officers that had been here before and were aware of all the trouble we had had in the past with him came out again. Nothing they could do because he was 16 unless we pressed charges. There was not a chance I could press charges. Why? Because we press charges and he gets a record with assault and battery and every time he goes for a job and doesn’t get it because of it – he will always blame us! It will be our fault the rest of his life. Yes, I know it is his fault but if you have kids, stop and think about what our relationship would be the rest of the time. Very cold if any at all. I want help for my child NOT to hurt him for the rest of his life! But, unless WE file charges or he does something illegal there is nothing they can do. They took evidence and our statements and going to put it in front of the DA but doubtful it will be taken as a case. Too many others that are bigger to deal with. So, in the middle of the night he ran away. He didn’t go to school Friday (last time he did this, he at least went to school) so we reported him as a runaway for the second time. The police again came to the house and took down the information and gave us a case #. But they don’t go out and look for them, it is by chance IF they run across them. We had a vague idea where he may have gone but he has friends that drive and didn’t know if any of them came to pick him up. He ended up coming back 6 days later asking to come home. Said he just didn’t want to get anyone in trouble for letting him stay with them. I wouldn’t let him in the house and told him to go to the back patio – we had lots to discuss first. He wouldn’t apologize to me or his dad for what he had done the previous week and basically blamed it on us. I told him he would NOT have a phone and he was not allowed on social media at all. He was going to do a lot more chores around the house to work off what he had broke during his fit of rage! 55″ TV, xbox, vases, picture frames, holes in walls, threw a bar stool at a window, window didn’t break but wood blinds did and other decorative stuff when he swiped tables clean and it all smashed on the floor. He was grounded and he would NOT be able to sleep all day and had to go to school and keep up his homework. He agreed to it all if he got him back in the house. Plus he only took a duffel bag of items when he left. So, the next day when he came home from school I made a list of chores for him to get started on, after his homework was complete. He started with vacuuming the upstairs and was supposed to precede with vacuuming the baseboards as well. He claimed his stomach was hurting and layed in the hallway and fell asleep. I tried getting him up several times to finish is chore. He said – no he didn’t feel good. I made him take a shower and go to bed. The next day he came home from school and started his homework. When he was done he disappeared up stairs. I called out to him and told him to finish his chore and when he was done I had another. He replied “No!” I asked what did you say. He said – I’m not doing anymore, you are treating me like your slave. I told him NO I am not, you are working off everything you destroyed – the TV was about $1000 so you got a lot more to do. He again said – NO, he was not going to do it. His dad tried talking with him and telling him to do it and he refused telling him flat out NO!! I am so tired of him and just want him out of the house and go live the life he thinks he will have somewhere else. He doesn’t have a license, which he was going to go next week and get, but not after all of this now. He has money we have been saving since he was a baby for a car and now he doesn’t get it. He doesn’t have a job! So, what makes him think he will have a better life somewhere else? We just want him to go but don’t want him to get in trouble and us have to suffer the consequences since he is still 16, turns 17 in a month but not 18 for another year. Everything I read protects him until he’s 18! What about the parents that have tried everything to help him take the right path and he refuses! Down right refuses! Won’t do chores and again won’t clean up after himself? I am NOT his maid! What rights do we have as parents of an abusive, druggy, disrespectful, bigger than us male? I haven’t even told everything he has done and it still this long! He can’t emancipate himself – he doesn’t have a license or a job or even money!! I have researched for hours trying to come up with something!! My husband has spoke with a family lawyer and we are going to speak with him to see what our options are. As far as I’m concerned – let him go see if he can have it better somewhere else! I know he won’t and he will probably end up in jail! I hate to be like this about my son, I love him like no other but enough is enough!!

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