There has been a long standing joke that although refers in translation to men, seems to also define the way in which women feel about one another sexually. The joke says, “What’s the difference between a slut and a bitch?” And the answer is “a slut sleeps with everyone while a bitch sleeps with everyone but you.”
In the female to female community, this typical ill will and judgmental disposition towards other women who are sexual eye-candy, who are comfortable in their sexuality, and who seem to exude pheromones that leave the rest of us contemplating their morals, (and hanging on a little more tightly to our own men) – seems to be extremely common. Bottom line is ladies, there is nothing wrong with enjoying sex.
If you think back to your late teens, early 20’s, certainly you will remember certain females that you labelled and remembered based on sexual criteria. For instance, Shirley was a tease; Christa was ‘popular’ with the boys which meant that all the girls in school thought she was a slut, a tramp or a whore.
The question is why are we, as women – so judgmental of one another when it comes to sex? Although, you would think this behaviour would subside after the hormonal fluctuations of the teen years, the truth is it doesn’t. A woman will see another woman, wearing lace, or who looks sexy, or who seems interested in sex with her boyfriend and/or husband – and will immediately jump to conclusions about her morality. Some even make comments that the only reason this other woman has sex, is because she is insecure with herself and her relationship – and is simply trying to hold on to her man.
Is there anything really wrong with enjoying sex? Is a woman who is open to sexual experiences a slut, or a whore – simply because she is in tune with her body sexually? Is the woman who can have multiple orgasms, whose husband brags about trying to keep up with her libido someone to be despised or judged? Is your neighbour who has a side business selling sexual toys, really completely crazy? Is the couple you know that swings really a couple that should be locked up and jailed for their illicit behaviour?
Too often, our opinions of others are more a reflection of ourselves.
In a world that has gone completely crazy, one of the things that we, as humans, still have to cling to for pleasure is our sexual life. It is okay to enjoy sex. It is absolutely natural and normal to be turned on, to have desires, and to crave having sex with another person. There is nothing wrong with a woman who initiates sex, who knows what she wants in the bedroom, and who isn’t afraid to scream out during intercourse as her body succumbs to an orgasm. There, we said it!
The truth is that many women don’t enjoy sex. Many studies and research have been done about what happens to the female libido over time. Most of them seem to indicate that the female sexual libido is so tightly connected to the inner compass of self esteem and mood, that many women are unable to enjoy their time in the bedroom. Worse is that physiological changes with the female body as it ages, and after childbearing – make it difficult for so many women to actually ‘enjoy’ or find pleasure in the bedroom.
And of course, since men are the desires of sexually confident women – the women who can admittedly go a year or two without any sexual escapades feel the need to spew accusations or judgment against the women who are self-proclaimed Athena-like goddesses.
Remember, your judgments are others are mostly a reflection of you. And also remember, that sex is supposed to be enjoyable and fun. The female body, YOUR body was intricately designed to give you pleasure sexually. Sex is the antidote for stress. The cure-all for many illnesses. Sex can be an important part of the recipe for a healthy and happy relationship. Good sex can help you feel better about yourself and can improve your self esteem.
If you have difficulty with sexual pleasure – or are one of those women who can barely get the words “sixty-nine’ off of your lips without blushing – then do yourself a favour and get some help so you can breakthrough the typical stereotypes about ‘what sort of woman’ enjoys having sex.
There are many ways to unlock your own sexual Goddess. You too, can live a sex life that is completely separated from your life as an employee, wife, mother, sister, or daughter. The key to sexual relationships are in the mind. Take a class that can help you realize the keys to unlock your own sexual desires. Instead of judging another women for being attractive, or sexy, or outwardly sexy – learn from her disposition. There is absolutely, positively, NOTHING to be ashamed of when it comes to you and your sexual experiences. They are meant to be special, and sex is not just designed to procreate life. If it were, would it really feel so good?
Many of the information that females have taken into their brains over the years are based on outdated and inaccurate gender roles and dated ideals about sex. The world has changed, and one of the most rewarding things that you can do for yourself is to learn how to shed your old sexual judgments and replace them with ones that are liberating and enable you to feel free to enjoy your sex life the way nature intended.