Marriage Advice

My Wife Wants a Divorce | How Can I Change Her Mind?

My wife wants a divorce but I don’t  (Part 1)

Divorce can be so distressing, no happy, newly married couple would wish to end their marriage after years of being together and knowing each other for a long time. But at most times, life is not a bed of roses. There ups and downs in every relationship, so you wouldn’t expect things to move smoothly. If your wife suddenly asks for a divorce and you have no clue why she wants it since you both have been living an ordinary married life. Then what do you do next? First is to find out her reasons for the divorce and if you don’t want your wife to leave, the next is how to get her to reconsider the divorce. Let’s look at those common reasons that would make her ask for a divorce before going deep.

1)    The Marriage Might be Boring; Maybe nothing fun is happening in the relationship anymore. You both don’t even get along well as before. You wake up in the morning, maybe greet her, get dressed, and start your daily routine. The same thing happens continuously without doing something new. She would want to feel good in the relationship and not just seeing the same thing all day. It could also be there is something wrong with the marriage, or you are acting like a bad husband towards her. Boredom can feel overwhelming, especially in a new married life or mid-life crisis marriages.

2)    Negative influence from family friends and co; If your wife’s mother or sister doesn’t like your personality that much, then problems are bound to happen in the marriage. They will be giving her side talks about your attitude and even personality, trying to make her see a negative aspect in you. She might get negatively influenced by these gossips. Especially when you both have problems in the marriage, this is where the power of negative influence from outsiders manifest.

3)    You fail to fulfill your promises; When you don’t always keep to your word like maybe you promised to stop watching porn, or you said you’d be present at home, and yet you don’t stick to what you say could also be part of the reasons why she asked for a divorce. It could also be that you are putting enough energy into the marriage, and you are extremely lazy with your duties as a husband.

4)    There is infidelity in the marriage; If she probably finds out that you are a cheater or she always sees you with other women. She wouldn’t hesitate to end the relationship. It could also be that she’s cheating on you and don’t want to keep deceiving you. So getting a divorce would be the right thing to do.

5)    She has no more feelings for you; Maybe she doesn’t love you any more or has no romantic feelings towards you. And because of that, she feels uncomfortable around you. It could also be your wife is frustrated for the lack of progress in marriage.  Seeing things the way they are, the problems you both have all the time would make her ask for a divorce.

These are the possible five reasons why your wife wants to get a divorce from you. Maybe she had in mind for years and has been bearing the situation, or she just decided to end the relationship for the best reasons known to her. After understanding her grounds for the divorce, What will be next thing to do? If you want the marriage to continue and you don’t want such a thing to end the relationship, then what should be ringing in your mind is how to make her reconsider divorce by convincing her not to go further with the decision. The tips below will guide you through this particular process.

How to convince your wife not to divorce (Part 2)

Getting your wife to reconsider divorce

In your mind, you might be thinking, ‘ Oh! My wife has given up in our marriage, ’ because she asked for a divorce. But, you don’t have to panic, the good news is that you can still make your wife change her mind. Here is how you could convince her;

Firstly, you don’t have to beg your wife to stay

Pleading and begging her to stay will not be the best solution to this matter. You don’t have to stop your wife from wanting a divorce. Many men would already be on their knees once their wives ask for a divorce. You don’t have to be that type of guy that would beg her not to leave the relationship. As a husband, be brave and stay focused on this situation. Do not tarnish your dignity by groveling your wife to stay. She will be unimpressed, and it could ruin your confidence and self-respect when she refuses to stay.

Do not solely depend on marriage counseling

Very few couples grapple to gain something out of marriage counseling, but that doesn’t mean your situation might improve with it. Couples who need marriage counseling are just enthusiastic about seeing results. They use their efforts, and enthusiasm to work together for a benefit from marriage counseling, even then, there is no guarantee. Marriage counseling only serves as a preventive measure and not as a way to solve all the existing problems in your marriage.

Be happy with yourself and show an attitude of love

Always stay happy around her, give her the positive side of yourself. Don’t let the situation make things dull between you and her in the relationship. Show that loving behavior towards and try to refrain from things that would get you upset when she is present. She is not going to respond to any marriage counseling or make someone else’s opinion change her mind. She will respond to you and the way you act towards her.

Make her feel she’s the only person you are attracted to

You can try to put more effort into giving her the attraction experience she wants. When you both were newly married, you always spent your time loving her, appreciating her and also respecting her. But that was then, eventually other things like having and raising children, getting a house and paying it off, ensuring that your children have a good education and managing daily activities became a priority over the relationship between you and her. You focused on a lot of other things except having fun with her or maintaining a good relationship at all times. You have to start now and show her how much you love and respect her even though you got caught up in these activities.

Turn heated arguments into laughter

If you and your wife eventually get into an argument, do not react or try to put more fuel on the fire. Instead of arguing and fighting all day, seek ways to turn those heated arguments or cold conversation into laughter. Come with something that would change the topic by making her smile and feel good if possible. According to CompleteCase, couples getting a divorce are bound to always fight over little things, but if you want to make your wife change her mind about the whole issue, then look for ways to make her feel good about the relationship. However, don’t continuously crack jokes or not take anything seriously.

Turn into the man she was attracted to

This tip was shared by FidnLaw and that’s simply amazing. When you started dating your wife, she found you pleasingly attractive.  It was like during the first date, the time when the natural chemistry between you both was energetic. You can think about the first time you kissed her or the time you made love to her and put those thoughts into action. To rekindle the love in the existing relationship, you have turn into the man she had always fallen head over heels.  You can ask yourself these questions – What was I like back then? How was I different? How was my wife’s perceptive about me different? How do I think my wife perceives me now? Understanding the answers to these questions will assist you in doing the right thing to build a better and stronger relationship.

If you want her to reconsider divorce, reactivate her feelings

First of all, you have to drop off those negative things that would break the relationship. Then you will start to show love and care towards her, make her feel like the queen you have always loved. Take her for picnics, call her up and talk sweet things to her or have a good conversation with your wife. Love her for who she’s and make her feel special in every way. A marriage or relationship will last forever, If both you can remain relevant to each other, and the love, respect, and attraction deepen over time.  

Divorce can be too bitter and harsh, especially for a marriage that lasts for a long time. However, you can still change the way your wife feels about you. The love might be there in the relationship, but you need to take effort to rekindle that love back again and build a stronger relationship.

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