No matter how angry or bitter you are over the divorce you should never use your dog as a way to “get even.” Keeping the dog just because you know how badly the other person wants him isn’t good for anyone involved.
Living in today’s world, one can only be realistic in knowing that despite the best of efforts, sometimes families fall apart. And when they do, and parents divorce – it is often the children that are left to clean up the pieces of the life they knew and rebuild.
There is no way around it; divorce when children are involved is a nasty business. That one time the child fell from the tree while playing (something we all experienced sometime before the video-game days) has suddenly become the focus of an overpaid lawyer trying to win custody for her client.
First and foremost, get in touch with a divorce attorney. In most states and locales, no-fault divorces are allowed. This could be necessary if you have just fallen out of love, or find that your differences are irreconcilable yet feel neither of you truly is to blame.
So here it is! The ‘ultimate guide’ (and yes the term ultimate is used lightly here) to the pros and cons of divorce. In the interest of positive thinking, let’s start with the pros!
Divorce can leave people reeling for weeks, months and even years. In fact, many people stay stuck in an unhealthy marriage because they are simply afraid that there is no life after divorce.
Just because you’re divorced doesn’t mean your life is suddenly meaningless. You still have hobbies, friends, relatives, children, and work (to name a few) to enjoy. These relationships and activities are important pieces of you and are critical pieces of life that define who you are.
Given that a divorce can be ugly, Ronald Sharp suggests that individuals should plan for it, even before they get married. That’s rather a cold, cruel way of looking at it.
You deserve a pat in the back for thinking of dating after a divorce. Most people shy away from another involvement because of the trauma of marriage. The divorce can even be more traumatic than the marriage itself, so when they’re feeling burned by the experience, dating after a divorce is like an alien idea.
Jousline Savra is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist who has offices in Pasadena and Sherman Oaks, in Southern California.
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