The two of you broke up. Now you are sitting on Facebook wondering if all those wonderful people you met through your ex, and his or her family members that have become dear to your heart need to be deleted from your friends list.
The thing is, that regardless of how parents feel about one another – they have to do their best to avoid being caught in the custody trap that causes them to play tug of war, with their children being the ones raked over the mud pile. This is especially true when it comes to visitation.
Your friends and family might be quick to suggest you forget about your ex by starting to date quite soon after the split. But are they right? While they’ve got your best interests at heart, only you know your true state of mind.
One of the more popular ways that couples today are sharing custody, is trading off every other holiday and allowing kids to live with one parent for one week at a time, switching on Fridays.
Living in today’s world, one can only be realistic in knowing that despite the best of efforts, sometimes families fall apart. And when they do, and parents divorce – it is often the children that are left to clean up the pieces of the life they knew and rebuild.
One thing that is for sure is if the end to the relationship is due to physical or emotional abuse, staying together for the sake of money is NOT an option. In this case, you should explore ALL and EVERY option that you have available to you.
So here it is! The ‘ultimate guide’ (and yes the term ultimate is used lightly here) to the pros and cons of divorce. In the interest of positive thinking, let’s start with the pros!
Just because you’re divorced doesn’t mean your life is suddenly meaningless. You still have hobbies, friends, relatives, children, and work (to name a few) to enjoy. These relationships and activities are important pieces of you and are critical pieces of life that define who you are.
First and foremost, get in touch with a divorce attorney. In most states and locales, no-fault divorces are allowed. This could be necessary if you have just fallen out of love, or find that your differences are irreconcilable yet feel neither of you truly is to blame.
Jousline Savra is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist who has offices in Pasadena and Sherman Oaks, in Southern California.
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