No matter how angry or bitter you are over the divorce you should never use your dog as a way to “get even.” Keeping the dog just because you know how badly the other person wants him isn’t good for anyone involved.
Just recently my very best friend shared the shocking news that she and her husband were getting divorced. They had been married for 18 years, had what appeared to be a seamless marriage, 3 incredible children and were always laughing. I never saw it coming and I thought at first that she was joking.
Another way to know if it is time to bail on a marriage is if one spouse is caught in a time warp, unwilling to forget or forgive a certain instance or moment. If one spouse holds something over the others head (cheating for instance) and refuses to let it go or forgive it is best to go ahead and get out of the relationship.
The two of you broke up. Now you are sitting on Facebook wondering if all those wonderful people you met through your ex, and his or her family members that have become dear to your heart need to be deleted from your friends list.
Millions of people put of divorce or settle for less than a blissful marriage for years because they do not want to deal with the changes to their lifestyle or family.
Many married couples have been living with the silent realization that their marriage is dead, yet continually ignore the inklings to ask for a divorce because of fear.
IF you are thinking about or facing a divorce, it is especially important to look at the divorce as a time of change. To look at it as a beginning rather than an end. Just because two people get divorced doesn’t mean that everything they shared together including the happy times, was all for not.
Starting over after a divorce is also about letting go. Learning from your mistakes and admitting your own faults in life. It isn’t about punishing or crucifying yourself, rather taking one experience and deciding that you gained something valuable from it.
There are many dads out there in this world who are very willing to provide both financial and emotional support to their children, yet being saddled with often unrealistic payments for alimony, legal bills and child support have made it nearly impossible for them to do so.
Jousline Savra is a Licensed Marriage Family Therapist who has offices in Pasadena and Sherman Oaks, in Southern California.
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