What is more delightful than walking into the bathroom (or bedroom, kitchen and living room) only to find other people’s crap lying all over the place? So much so that it becomes difficult to do anything, without first having to clean up something (that isn’t even yours) first?
If one partner is aggressive and the other passive, the passive partner may feel frightened, bullied and abused. Each partner will use what he or she has learned to balance the conflict and power.
Relationships where both partners are fearful of really talking and listening to each other, struggle to grow and change. Even though on the surface it appears all is OK, underneath there are often many untrue assumptions on which your relationship is based.
John and Sue each held the remote that could trigger each other’s anger in a heartbeat. Their fights were sometimes about serious issues like parenting their children or how to budget their money, but more often were about small stuff.
If you are one of the lucky ones in this world, then you have married into a family in which you get along well with the in-laws. Prior to marriage, it is difficult to see just how large an impact that the extended in-law family, from brother/sister in laws, to cousin and parent in laws, can have on your marriage.
In 1955, the movie The 7 Year Itch was released giving some plausibility to the reality that perhaps after 7 years of marriage, something psychological sets in, and marriages are tested and tired.
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Robert Buchicchio (MSW, LICSW, DCSW has a BA in psychology from University of Rhode Island and an MSW from Ohio State University.
Article: We Never Fight! But we Never Talk!
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When marriages go bad
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