The grass is always greener, right? When it comes to the single versus married life, it is difficult to be objective. Each has its pros and cons at different times and they both certainly take a different mindset to enjoy. Married people often wonder what it would be like to be single again, while single people spend countless hours searching for their soul mate. So, which is better? In the end, you will have to decide that for yourself but the lesson here is to enjoy the life you have, while you have it and who you have it with. Things can change in an instant, and sometimes getting what you wish for is not all its cracked up to be.
Let’s start with the married side of the single versus married life battle. Marriage definitely has its advantages. There is no more hunting for the perfect date. You get to finally start building something with someone who has made a commitment to you. You can stay home and start enjoying the routine life of knowing what to expect. In addition to that, you can take your makeup so to speak. Sitting around in sweat pants is definitely more comfortable than the clothes you wear when you are trying to impress someone enough to marry you. Gone are the days of pretending that you like certain things or are a certain way (when you aren’t) because your spouse will learn the truth quickly. You also start getting a certain level of respect from other people in this world who seem to see marriage as a rite of passage into adult hood.
Other advantages of married life versus single life are two incomes, which can make it a lot easier to get the things you want in life. You will always have someone to wake up to in the morning, to wish you happy birthday and to spend the holidays with. There will be someone there when you get home in a terrible mood and someone that you can take out your frustrations on who won’t hate you for it. Married life often allows a seamless tradition to having children and can always give you an out when you are invited to do those things in life that you just don’t want to do. Another benefit to married life is that sex, while not as frequent as you may like, isn’t something you have to prowl for. If you are in the mood chances are there is someone right beside you who will oblige. One of the nicest things about married life is having a partner. If the marriage is good and stable – having that person in your life that is a constant (although not perfect) can make you feel stronger and better equipped to tackle this world.
Single people don’t have it so bad either.
You cannot debate married life versus single life without mentioning the one thing that single people have, that married people do not! FREEDOM! Freedom to go and come as they please without having to explain or ask someone else. Freedom to hang out and get drunk if they want to without worrying that someone will get mad. Freedom to have a one-night stand with someone just because you think they are hot. Freedom to buy whatever you want, with no around to tell you no. Freedom to be as clean or messy in your own home as you want without worrying that your make up on the sink will become your husbands pet peeve. Freedom to have a bed to yourself, to not have to listen to someone else snore and freedom to sleep however you want to without sharing the covers.
Single people also are not as tied down to one locale as married people. If a single person gets an amazing job offer on the other side of the country – they can jump right on it without consulting the family or asking anyone else how they feel.
The cons of both lifestyles differ from person to person. If you are involved in a bad marriage than single life will seem like a dream come true. Likewise, if you are unable to find someone to spend your time with, then you will likely feel lonely and frightened no matter how successful your life is. The key to weighing the differences is actually in enjoying the lifestyle you have while you have it.
There is also one constant in the single versus married life. That constant is you! Just because you get married to someone doesn’t necessarily mean you change whom you are. You might change and learn to compromise, you might grow a bit – but the person that you have always been is still there. Often, it is the way you look at things that have changed. In a good marriage, few people would ever turn back to single hood. In a bad marriage, people crave to be single. When you are single and having the time of your life, imagining being tied so tightly to one other person can feel like an enormous nightmare. Yet, if you are single and lonely – having someone to grow old with feels like a breath of fresh air.
It seems that it is human nature to always be thinking that the grass on the other side of the fence is always greener. Perhaps that is why it is most important to live life to your standards each moment. Carpe diem! Seize the life you have and try to pull all the goody out of it so that you don’t spend your future regretting any decisions or missed opportunities. And even so, you still will. You will look forward and back as if your brain is pendulum swinging in both directions. At some point, you will fall nicely in the middle, being able to enjoy the ebb and flow of your life and remaining both grateful and optimistic about what your future holds, whether you are single or married!