After being married for 25 years and experiencing a devastating divorce, I entered the dating field once again. Dating can be fun, thrilling, and downright scary at times. While these Top 10 Things Not to Do on your next date are meant to be humorous, they are based on shocking real-life occurrences. Men, please take these tips to heart, and women, know that you too could be guilty of these or other dating faux pas.
1: Show up smelling like a cigar, without a shower, drunk, and proceed to dance with the bar stool.
2: Use the opening line on a first date: “I normally only date skinny women.”
3: End the first date with, “Will you do ecstasy and have sex with me?”
4: Ask a woman out when you’re already in a committed relationship or married. Seriously. I have to say this.
5: Be on your phone texting throughout the date.
6: Hold your date’s hand during dinner, eagerly listen to everything she says, give her a kiss goodnight, and then completely blow her off for a second date.
7: Ask to borrow money repeatedly. And when she blocks you on her phone, borrow your new girlfriend’s phone and call again.
8: On the first date, show her 50 photos of the scantily dressed beautiful women you’ve dated in the past.
9: Plan a romantic weekend with your girlfriend. Day 1: Enjoy a beautiful night of intimacy. Day 2: Get so drunk you pass out for hours. Day 3: When you wake up, tell her it’s her fault you drank so much, and that she’s not your type anyway.
And last, but certainly not least—
10: After a night of intimacy, make sure there is no cuddling, don’t tell her you enjoyed being with her, and avoid looking her in the eyes after she just opened her entire heart and body to you.
I’ve heard it said that relationships are where people “work out” their issues from the past. All I can say is, I must have had a ton of issues! Each of the above circumstances is either my own dating experience or that of a close friend. While shocking, they collectively and individually taught me something about myself. I learned how to communicate in a non-reactive way. They taught me to love myself first and be true to myself—no matter what. I’m forever thankful for the opportunity to grow as a woman, realizing that I do not need to settle.
No longer will women sit back and allow men (and vice versa) to take advantage of them or treat them with such disdain. We live in a day and age that calls for wider respect, honest communication, and deeper intimacy. Nothing less should be accepted.
Men, I invite you to always be honest with your date. But first, you must be honest with yourself. Why are you really dating? If it’s only for the thrill of a few moments of pleasure, make sure those expectations are expressed upfront. What are your underlying intentions?
Miscommunicated or unspoken expectations will leave your date wondering what just happened when she thought she was building an emotional relationship (even after six months), while you only wanted a physical one. Deep communication—open, honest, and deliberate—is the key to dating and cultivating a relationship that lasts.
