After being married for 25 years and experiencing a devastating divorce, I entered the dating field again. Dating can be fun, thrilling, and downright scary at times. Although these Top 10 of What Not to Do on your next date are meant to be funny, these are actual shocking real-life occurrences. Men, please take to heart these Tips and Women, know that you too could just as easily be guilty of these or another dating faux pas.

1: Show up smelling like a cigar, without a shower, drunk and proceed to dance with the bar stool.

2: Opening line on a first date, “I normally only date skinny women.”

3: Ending line on a first date, “Will you do ecstasy and have sex with me?”

4: Ask a woman out when you’re in a committed relationship or married. Seriously. I have to say this.

5: Be on your phone texting.

6: Hold your dates’ hand during dinner eager to hear every word she says, give her a kiss goodnight then completely blow her off for a second date.

7: Ask to borrow money. Repeatedly. And, when she blocks you on her phone, you borrow your new girlfriends phone and call again.

8: While on your first date, show her 50 photos of all the scantily dressed beautiful women you have dated in the past.

9: Plan a romantic weekend with your girlfriend. Day 1 Enjoy the beautiful night of intimacy. Day 2 get so drunk you pass out for hours. Day 3 When you’re waking up tell her it’s her fault you drank so much and she’s not your type anyway.

and last, but certainly not least—

10: After a night of intimacy, you make sure there is no cuddling, don’t tell her you enjoyed being with her and don’t look her in the eyes after she just opened her entire heart and body to you.

I’ve heard it said that relationships are a place where people “work out” their issues from the past. All I can say is, I must of had a ton of issues! Each of the above circumstances are either my own dating experiences or a close friend. And, while shocking at the very least, they collectively and individually taught me something about myself. I learned how to communicate in a non-reactive way. They taught me to love myself first and be true to myself— no matter what. I’m ever thankful for the opportunity to grow as a woman realizing that I do not need to settle.

No longer will women sit back and allow men (and vice-versa) to take advantage of or be treated with such disdain. We live in a day and age that calls for wider respect, honest communication, and deeper intimacy. Nothing less should be accepted.

Men, I invite you to always be honest with your date. First though, you must be honest with yourself. Why are you really dating? If it’s only for the thrill of a few moments of pleasure, make sure those expectations are expressed up front. What are your underlying intentions?

Mis-communicated or non-spoken expectations will leave your date wondering what just hit her when she thought she was building an emotional relationship (even 6 months in) and you just wanted a physical relationship. Deep communication — open, honest, and deliberate is the key to dating and harvesting a relationship that lasts.

As a soul-inspiring thought leader, international best-selling author, happiness engineer, sought after speaker, and podcast host, Lara Jaye utilizes her unique spiritual gifts to help her clients step into a flourishing life living out their own bravest dreams. To receive her Get Happy Now! free gift combo, click here, https://larajaye.com/gift/  or visit https://larajaye.com for learn more how Lara can help you get happy now!

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