Is Viewing Pornography Considered Cheating?
The question of whether viewing pornography constitutes cheating is often raised by wives and girlfriends who discover their partners engaging with pornographic material, whether online or in magazines. To see this in action, browse back issues of your daily newspaper and read advice columns like “Dear Miss Manners” or “Annie’s Mailbox.” Many readers seek guidance on how to address their husbands or boyfriends consuming pornography.
“He’s not just reading or looking at pornography; he’s practically drooling over the pages!”
This comment, recently shared by a distressed housewife, highlights the emotional weight of the issue. Such reactions prompt us to consider whether viewing or reading pornography equates to cheating on a spouse.
A CNN writer reported that, on the internet alone, over 28,000 users visit porn sites every second. That’s right—every second. If you extrapolate that to minutes or hours, the number of pornography consumers is staggering. And that’s just online activity.
How many people purchase magazines like Penthouse or Playboy monthly? It’s hard to say, as many men are reluctant to admit to buying them. Online traffic can be measured with tools, lending credibility to figures like the 28,000 cited by CNN. But for those who discreetly buy adult magazines, no such tracking exists.
Should we be alarmed by this appetite for pornography? Or is it merely harmless curiosity? Some teens react strongly when their gaming consoles are taken away; would men respond similarly if pornography were banned and punishable?
Understanding the Line: Curiosity vs. Compulsion
If someone claimed that viewing pornography is equivalent to cheating, they’d likely face a strong backlash, particularly from male readers. Proving that pornography consumption is tantamount to cheating would be a tough argument to defend.
At least 90% of people have sexual fantasies—there’s no denying this. But how many act on those fantasies and turn them into reality?
During my university days, I occasionally flipped through Penthouse or Playboy, not because I sought them out, but because they were around—passed along by a friend or left behind by someone. Giggling at the erotic poses didn’t make me “unfaithful” or a “cheater” in the eyes of my partner.
A question for women: Would you prefer your partner openly flirting with your best friend or browsing pornography in your presence?
Honestly, I’d rather he look at pornography than flirt with my best friend. Flirting openly with another woman might make me question the relationship entirely—perhaps even walk away. Who wants to deal with a blatant flirt for life? I’d rather gift him a year-long subscription to a magazine he can peruse privately in our bedroom.
If he gets inspired by those pages and says, “Honey, could you wear something like that one day and parade in front of me—on a day when you don’t have one of those infamous headaches?” my response would be, “No problem, hon, just check with me before asking our neighbor or my colleague in the mini skirt, okay?”
The key is distinguishing between viewing pornography out of curiosity or for a bit of spice and viewing it compulsively. This perspective helps clarify the issue.
If your partner looks at pornography occasionally, enjoys it, and then moves on to other activities—like heading off to play hockey—there’s little cause for concern. However, if he starts and ends his day with excessive pornography, denies it, has unexplained absences, and shows obsessive behavior (like salivating or heavy breathing), he’s not necessarily cheating but may need professional counseling. This level of fixation suggests a deeper issue.
The Other Side: A Broader Perspective
To be clear, we’re not advocating for pornography simply because we believe it’s unrelated to infidelity. While we don’t judge those who enjoy pornography occasionally, frequent consumption that overshadows more meaningful activities raises concerns.
Edward Marriott, in an article for The Guardian, noted that in the UK, about 33% of internet users visit porn sites. The American pornography industry generates roughly $15 billion annually, surpassing spending on films and performing arts. Alarmingly, in Los Angeles, over 10,000 adult films are produced yearly, compared to Hollywood’s 400 movies.
If these trends persist, they signal a troubling shift. The question “Is viewing pornography considered cheating?” becomes secondary to a more pressing concern: “Why are we addicted to pornography?”
Like addictions to alcohol, drugs, or gambling, pornography addiction may require professional intervention. Addressing this issue is far more urgent than debating its link to infidelity.
