Today’s version of a birthday party is not cheap. There is a multi-million dollar party business designed around parents and children who want to make the annual commemoration of birth a special EVENT for their children.
The days of homemade cakes, pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey, and eating at the backyard picnic table are long gone. Today, a child of any age can magically create the party of their dreams with easy access to nearly any ‘theme’ on the planet. Parents now spend endless hours planning extravagant outings, activities, and hiring rentals just to ensure the party is a sensation. Sadly, this is true even for two- and three-year-olds, who won’t remember these bashes. Have parents gone mad? With so many venues to choose from, and extras like goody bags to boot, do you think today’s birthday parties have gone too far? After all, just recently, a new reality series featured idiotic parents dropping $30 grand on no-holds-barred birthday parties for their children.
Fox News Network recently featured a story on just this issue. In their report, they found that people are now hiring party planners for their children’s birthday parties. For $1,000, you can hire one of these pint-sized party planners to throw together an event that ‘used’ to be reserved for royalty. And of course, each and every extra— from the banners to the paper plates—will cost the parents even more. Just recently, one party planner hosted an event at the Ritz Carlton in Boston for a pair of 4-year-olds, featuring a 30-foot candy buffet, an extravagant castle, and a host of other party favors sure to please a crowd.
But who, pray tell, are these parties for? Any parent who has to get their child dressed for a big event would likely tell you they’d have been happier with a more relaxed venue.
The Cost of Extravagance: Is it Really for the Kids?
Children today are not only pressured from all sides to fit into the neat and tidy box of societal expectations—they’re also being removed from celebrating their birthdays with ‘real’ friends. You have to wonder if parties with so much extravagance are truly for the children or for the adults.
The trend in upscale, expensive birthday parties—whether it’s building stuffed bears, painting ceramics, visiting a sports venue, or renting out space at a water park—may be part of the backlash from parental guilt. In 2011, more children were in daycare than ever before in U.S. history. With more parents working away from their children, they are ‘buying off’ their kids through gifts and extravagance to make up for their absences. There’s a message being sent that the more a parent spends on a party, the more love they show their child. And the competition is fierce. Many parents spend a lot of time planning parties for children who aren’t even potty-trained yet—parties that seem to be more about how other parents will feel than the actual enjoyment of the children.
Truth be told, you could invite a bunch of 7-year-olds over to your house, run the water hose in a big pile of mud, and tell them to play—and they’d likely think it’s the best party they’ve ever attended. Take it one step further and forego the fancy cupcakes from an upscale bakery. Instead, give each kid a bowl of icing and a spoon. That’s about the only part of the cake kids really love anyway. The party could end with a slip and slide to wash off the mud, and like magic, you have just recreated the perfect, kid-appropriate party. And if mud isn’t your idea of a good time, how about inviting over a guest list of friends to play old-fashioned party games in the yard? With $10 worth of princess or superhero plates and napkins from your local Wal-Mart, the soirée would be just as fun (maybe even more so) than attending a ballroom event at the Ritz.
One of the sad side effects of this birthday party revolution is that parents who cannot afford such parties often opt out of the competition altogether. They feel so much pressure to live up to the party expectations they’ve witnessed, and to provide such an extensive spread of activities, that they simply settle for a small gathering with family or one singular friend to avoid the perceived “embarrassment” of hosting a regular birthday party. Many more are keeping their children home from these events so they won’t feel pressured by their kids to do something extravagant.
According to some figures reported by Fox News, a ‘regular’ birthday party—complete with food, drinks, a few activities, and goody bags—can cost as much as $300, which is often more than parents spend on gifts for the child. And truly, aren’t we in an economic slump? Is it worth taking out a loan or spending your savings on a child’s birthday party?
The focus of a birthday, especially for children, should remain on the child’s day of birth. Birthdays are celebrations of life, of growth, and of the child. They shouldn’t be opportunities to keep up with the Joneses or be victims of peer pressure from other parents and children. It’s not so much that children have changed over the years, but that parents have. And sadly, many of these changes aren’t for the better.
It’s true that you cannot put a price tag on love. However, it is most important to stick to your true family values and provide your children with the things you can afford. If someone is going to judge you because you’re having a backyard party, chances are they aren’t much of a friend anyway. Keep your focus on your child, and remain within your budget!
