Trolling For Facebook Attention

Life today has handed us an all-new way to get attention and receive pats on the back for everything, from a job well done to a nice new haircut. The self-absorbed venue, of course, is Facebook! And we all have that one friend (or 20) who is constantly trolling for attention on Facebook by posting pictures of themselves or status updates that, in any other context, would be considered boasting.

Such as these…

“My kid is on the honor roll!”
“My child placed 1st in their softball tournament.”
“I have been married 16 years today to the man/woman of my dreams.”
“I finally got that raise I’ve been wanting for ten years.”
“My daughter was the town beauty queen (with a picture, of course).
“Look at this beautiful Tiffany ring my husband bought me.”
The list is endless.

In a world where it was once considered rude, or bad manners, to boast and brag, Facebook has enabled us to break all the rules. In fact, Facebook has become the go-to online diary, where we can share everything and anything about ourselves and our family in the hopes that our 500+ closest friends, family, and acquaintances will stroke our ego by hitting the like button or making a nice (though often fake) comment.

The Reality Behind the Facebook Show

The reality, as we all know, is this: when we see posts about the amazing feats and successes of our Facebook posse, we often think they’re either lying or full of it. When we see that completely (and obviously) photoshopped picture of our friend, who in real life looks like a sunken ship, sparkling like a beauty queen, we think, “What a pathetic way to try and draw attention.” When we see posts about how awesome people’s kids, spouses, neighbors, or pets are, we hit the like button while secretly wanting to type a sarcastic comment about how ridiculous it looks for adults to be trolling for attention on Facebook.

It’s one thing for a teenage boy or girl to do this, but it’s altogether different when adults are seeking affirmation that the world loves them and that they’re winners.

And sadly, we are all guilty of it. Not only are we guilty of posting the self-affirming boasts and brags about how much weight we lost, how much exercise we did at the gym, how much sex we had the night before, how awesome we are at cooking or dancing, and how incredibly talented and beautiful our kids are – but we are also guilty of playing along and playing nice by hitting the “like” button and making insincere comments about how proud we are of our friends.

It’s a bit ridiculous. And it’s so obvious what we’re doing – trying to fluff up our own lives and egos, and make ourselves look better than we are by engaging our friends in our ongoing awesomeness.

Even worse than trolling for love and attention on Facebook are those people who constantly post their whines, troubles, and prayer requests. What part of our human psyche does it serve to constantly whine, gripe, complain, and cry on Facebook? Does the world really need to know that your 6th relationship in the past year has failed? Does the world need to hear that you’ve had explosive diarrhea and haven’t been able to leave the house for a week? Does the world need a minute-by-minute update on the state of your sick father? And do YOU really need the world to constantly console and coddle you as if you’re a colicky infant?

These posters appear weak and incapable of handling their own problems. They are negative and drain the Facebook feed, which should be filled with humor and socialization, not sappy stories, gripes, and boasts.

What Is This World Coming To?

Most of us remember as children when our parents told us, “Now, honey, don’t brag!” You remember when you got the best bike in the neighborhood, the one with reflectors on the spokes that allowed you to ride around after dark, and you wanted to show it off to every friend you had. And your mom would say, “Now, honey, it’s not nice to show off!” You remember when your parents would tell you, “There are some things you don’t talk about in public”? They would warn you that family problems were family problems, and they should remain just that. They’d say, “Now dear, let’s not air our dirty laundry for the world to see!”

All that advice has been thrown out the metaphoric window. Today, we have Facebook. Now, we can all be the biggest crybabies on the block and brag the loudest without incident. In fact, with Facebook, we can do these things and receive positive (though often phony) attention and pats on the back, and even love from complete strangers.