In September of 2006, author and journalist Celia Rivenbark published a book entitled Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank, in which she explores the current trends in childhood and pre-teen fashion. Rivenbark, a humor columnist by trade, looks at these trends from a humorous perspective, but also with caution, as she expresses her concerns about the skanky and seductive clothing that have become popular for young girls.
Venturing into any store or section of a store aimed at pre-teen girls, one may be absolutely shocked by what they find—especially if it’s been some time since they’ve shopped for young girls’ clothing. At one time, pre-teen girls could choose from sweat suits that matched from head to toe, t-shirts with ponies, rainbows, or suns as the central focus, jeans, jumpers, moderately lengthened skirts, and other clothing that was considered modest and innocent. However, since the turn of the new millennium, fashion has shifted for pre-teen girls. Not only are girls being pushed into the consumer-driven world at a younger age, but they are also being bombarded with images of what they should be—which is often far beyond their years.
The Push for Early Maturity in Fashion
A couple of months after the publication of Rivenbark’s book, Maclean’s magazine featured a question-and-answer piece in which they asked her why she chose to write such a book. She expressed her utter dismay upon walking into the pre-teen clothing sections at many stores with her own daughter. She cites examples of shirts she has seen with phrases like “Jailbait” or “Made ya look” displayed on the front. These are just two of many examples of clothing items that have such provocative messages, or pants with words or phrases plastered on the bottoms.
The reality is that what has become cool or trendy for pre-teen girls is for them to look like skanks. Pre-teens see girls on TV showing their midriffs and wearing clothing that is far too mature for them, and they think it’s cool. As a result, they desire to copy what they see.
As a parent, you might be thinking, Well, they’re young, and it’s still innocent. While this may be true for the child—perhaps they do look cute showing off their midriff, and since they’re young, they can get away with it without it being overly revealing—there is an underlying danger in how children are dressing. In a world like ours, clothing like this can make them look too mature, or even vulnerable to predators. At the mall, on the playground, or walking home from school, predators may see such clothing as an invitation. As a parent, it is important to protect your child from these dangers—even if that means saying no to what they would like to wear.
It’s a frightening thing when you can’t tell the difference between a twelve-year-old and an eighteen-year-old—and, I must say, I have seen it happen. Younger and younger girls are wearing makeup, caring deeply about their appearance, their hair, and of course, their clothing.
For pre-teen (and teen) girls raised in a culture that has told them since they were quite young what is cool, how they should look, and how they should act, it can be difficult to break away from the crowd. However, as a parent, it’s important to encourage your daughter to look and feel her age. More and more, children are trying to grow up too quickly, but as parents, it’s crucial to encourage your kids to act their age for their emotional and psychological well-being.
Again, one simple way to help your pre-teen daughter in this highly materialistic world is by being able to say “no” and sticking to it. It’s okay to say no, and your relationship with your child will likely be healthier because of it.
It’s essential to ensure that your daughter feels good about herself and her appearance, but this doesn’t have to mean dressing immodestly. Often, when girls dress immodestly, they are seeking attention because they feel insecure about their personal image or body. Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Christina Aguilera should not be your pre-teen daughter’s role models (and perhaps not anyone’s role model, for that matter). Unfortunately, many girls are heavily influenced by the images of fame that they see and the glamorization of these celebrities’ lives. Sometimes, saying no is your only defense. But it can also be helpful to encourage your daughter to find a positive role model who shares your values and seems “cool” to them.
Helping your daughter learn discretion while she’s young will hopefully carry over into the rest of her life. If she feels secure with herself, it will be reflected in how she dresses and acts. Raising your daughter to be a confident, well-represented person may start with saying “no” to skanky or sketchy trends, and teaching her to dress with a little class.
