Motherhood and Weight: Setting an Example for Your Kids
Motherhood often goes hand in hand with weight gain. A 127-pound body may gain 30 to 40 pounds or more during pregnancy. During this time, many women choose to stop counting calories, embracing the freedom to focus on their baby rather than their weight. After childbirth, however, an extra 10 to 15 pounds might linger. With subsequent pregnancies—baby number two, three, or even four—time to lose that weight becomes scarce. As a result, many mothers find themselves carrying extra weight.
This reality isn’t harsh; it’s common. Many women gain weight after pregnancy and struggle to lose it, often prioritizing motherhood over personal appearance or health. Immersed in parenting, daily walks become a distant dream amidst stress, hormonal changes, sleep deprivation, and poor eating habits. This can lead to what some call “fat mommy syndrome”—becoming the overweight parent you swore you’d never be. As a teen, you may have looked at your own mother or others and thought, “That will never be me!” Yet, it happens.
The Emotional Impact on Children
As your children grow, it’s natural to wonder if your weight or appearance embarrasses them and how it affects their lives. Toddlers may see you as a superhero, but as they age, they’ll compare you to other parents. Research shows that a parent’s weight can influence a child’s self-esteem. Kids can be mean, and comments like “Your mom is overweight!” can sting. Children may face teasing or bullying because of a parent’s appearance, often keeping it to themselves to spare your feelings.
Psychologists identify this as a form of schoolyard bullying. Studies indicate that children of overweight parents may have more self-esteem issues than those with healthy-weight parents. Young children often view their parents through rose-colored glasses, unaware of weight as an issue until peers point it out, triggering feelings of embarrassment.
Leading by Example
This article isn’t about moral judgments or labeling overweight parents as bad. It’s about recognizing how your health and appearance impact your children. Overweight parents often raise children who face similar weight struggles, perpetuating an environment of poor health. Excuses like post-pregnancy weight gain, stress, or lack of time may mask deeper issues, setting a precedent for your children’s lifestyle choices.
If a mother eats unhealthy snacks all day, neglects personal care, or disregards health, her children notice. According to the *International Journal of Obesity*, children of overweight parents are more likely to become overweight themselves. Your lifestyle sets an example. Are you modeling health and wellness, or something else?
Addressing the Issue
Are your kids embarrassed by your weight? They might be, even if they love you unconditionally. A fourth-grader avoiding public appearances with you could be a sign of teasing they’re reluctant to share. Teens, by nature, may find parents embarrassing, but being overweight and not addressing it can exacerbate this. Taking steps toward health—through better nutrition, exercise, or self-care—can set a positive example, benefiting both you and your children in the long run.
3 Responses
This article is so toxic and fat phobic. At first it starts of as if it is going to impart some wisdom, until you get to the end of paragraph 5 and all of six. Sometimes a parent can be overweight for reasons out of their control, or overweight by a small amount, and a child might still get teased for their parent being “fat.” To depict an overweight parent as sitting around eating twinkies is not just stupid and small minded, but on top, is an extension of grownup playground bullying.
I think all kids love their mother no matter what she looks like.
I think if they are embarrassed maybe it’s because friends are picking on them about it. Un fortunately there is not a lot that can be done about that. Kids can be mean.
I was 50 kgs over weight.
How I lost weight was I had a plastic container and in it I put 1500 calories of food. Once that was gone I couldn’t have any thing else that day.
The following I dropped it down to 1400 to eventually I dropped down to 1000 calories a day.
I lost my 50 kg in 7 months.
It is a year later and I had put 10 kgs back on but I have just gone back on to the 1200 calorie diet and list if in a month.
I allow I Small chocolate thing of 100 gms in the calorie count or I won’t stay on it.
Its my end of day reward.
It works
Try it
This article is not helpful whatsoever. A waste of time reading this inarticulate garbage. Most fat people don’t want to be fat and losing weight isn’t easy- especially when there are medical reasons for it. You can quit smoking, gambling, alcohol and never touch it again. But, food is necessary. You cannot live without it. Poverty is real, and access to healthy nourishing food can be be next to impossible when you’re struggling. There are many reason someone is fat, but bullies don’t discriminate. Adults bully and judge other adults, it’s not just kids. Try teaching kids to stand up to bullies. “What other people think of me is none of my business”. Remind them that mean people don’t deserve the time of day. What they think doesn’t matter. Who cares what a bully think? They aren’t worthwhile people. And one day they may get really really fat and get their just comeuppance.