Are Public Displays of Affection Really Necessary

couple kissing in public

PDA, or public displays of affection, are a common sight. Chances are, you’ve not only witnessed PDA but have also participated in it. There’s nothing quite as wonderful as love in full bloom, but there’s definitely an appropriate time and place for it. Too often, it seems that etiquette and common sense regarding PDA are overlooked. When couples cross the line from a simple act of affection to something resembling an X-rated movie, it can make those around them uncomfortable—hence the phrase, “Get a room!”

Sadly, extreme PDA isn’t limited to passionate teenagers exploring their emotions or late-night bar scenes catering to flamboyant twenty-somethings. PDA is everywhere. So, we ask: Is PDA really necessary? And when does public affection become too much? In an era where “anything goes,” what are the rules for PDA?

Understanding PDA Protocol

Believe it or not, there’s a protocol for PDA, guided by common sense. Unfortunately, many couples, caught up in their passion, lose sight of this and see no issue with intense displays—like making out at a McDonald’s PlayPlace or during dinner at a restaurant. For those unsure when to draw the line, here are the rules of the road!

Acceptable Forms of PDA

The key word here is “acceptable.” Acceptable PDA doesn’t offend or make those around you jealous. It’s affection that respects the comfort of others. A simple way to gauge what’s appropriate is to ask yourself: Would I do this in front of my parents or grandparents? If the answer is no, it’s probably not suitable for public spaces.

  • Handholding. Handholding is the most widely accepted form of PDA. It’s simple, sweet, and shows that you’re together without crossing boundaries. You see toddlers holding hands with their parents, and couples do it too. It’s a subtle gesture that doesn’t imply anything too intimate. If you must touch your partner in public, handholding is a safe choice.
  • Kissing. This one’s tricky. An acceptable kiss is a sweet peck on the lips, perhaps slightly prolonged, but always in good taste. If you’re slobbering, biting lips, or engaging in heavy tongue action, you’ve gone too far. Keep it light and respectful.
  • Hugs. There’s nothing wrong with a nice hug or walking with your arm around your partner. However, if the hug turns into an exotic dance routine or involves hands slipping inside clothes, it’s time to step back.
  • Dancing. Dancing must also be done tastefully. Avoid turning a picnic in the park into a suggestive performance. If you dance in public, ensure it’s in an appropriate venue and leaves something to the imagination—no groping or overly intimate moves.

These are the primary forms of acceptable PDA. If you can’t hold hands, kiss, hug, or dance without escalating to inappropriate behavior, consider limiting public affection to after 10 p.m. (when children are less likely to be around) or refraining altogether.

You might think your prolonged kiss at a lunchtime bistro is harmless, but to the public, it often crosses a line. Others might feel jealous if their own relationships lack passion, but no one wants to see a couple so engrossed that they seem ready to rip each other’s clothes off. Public spaces often include children or elderly people who may not appreciate such displays. Excessive PDA is, quite simply, rude and can alter how others perceive you.

For some, extreme PDA is a thrill, perhaps fueled by the attention it draws or as a prelude to intimacy. However, this burden shouldn’t fall on onlookers. In some places, laws even prohibit overly explicit PDA. So, keep it respectful, keep your clothes on, and if you can’t wait—get a room!

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