Modern Childhood: A World of Convenience
There is no doubt that today’s children live in a world of convenience, where the consequences of their actions are often cushioned. Parents and educators have embraced a belief that everything should be as comfortable and easy for children as possible. Sadly, this has led to a loss of appreciation among kids, replaced by expectation and entitlement. The line between wants and needs has blurred, and it is this generation of children who will ultimately pay the price.
Every generation of adults hopes their children will have an easier, better life than they did. This is a common vision of parenthood: to raise children in a better world. However, modern parenting often overlooks the fact that these children will eventually become adults. They must learn to build their own lives to provide for their future families. In many cases, parents today set the bar for success so high that, as children transition into adulthood, they face constant disappointment.
The Cost of Instant Gratification
For example, visit a high school parking lot today, and instead of beat-up cars that sputter and ping, you’ll find shiny, new vehicles that likely cost parents a small fortune. How will these young adults feel when their first job can’t cover the car payment or insurance for their dream car? Will they feel like failures?
Today’s children carry $90 North Face backpacks and wear $150 jackets. Reports indicate that the average American child receives a cell phone by fifth grade. Most kids now own expensive devices like smartphones, laptops, and tablets, costing hundreds of dollars to purchase and maintain. Despite economic challenges, families splurge on cell phone bills to ensure their child fits in, regardless of affordability.
Children have access to hundreds of TV channels at any time. Two-thirds of kids have TVs in their bedrooms, and according to the Department of Highway Safety, about 73% of vehicles owned by parents of toddlers are equipped with TV and media systems. While toddlers once played with blocks, books, and manipulatives, today’s average 4-year-old navigates an iPod and grows restless without their favorite preschool TV show.
In 1994, American families ate out an average of once a week, often as a treat after a long week. Today, that number has risen to three times per week. With childhood obesity rates climbing, this “grab-and-go” lifestyle clearly impacts children’s health. Even more concerning, despite the increase in dining out, most families still aren’t eating meals together.
Children today rarely learn to appreciate the value of work or the need for patience. They are accustomed to instant gratification. The internet provides immediate access to anything they desire, eliminating the need for research, waiting, or effort. While they stay connected with friends and family through cell phones and social media, they are less engaged in meaningful, face-to-face interactions. Kids are not learning empathy, compassion, or how to read human gestures and nuances critical for honest communication. Digital interactions often leave them disconnected from the consequences of their behavior.
As we move toward the future, we risk setting children up for disappointment. We are abandoning the ideals of working for a better future, starting with a modest home before achieving the dream house. Today, we skip straight to the dream house, only to find it empty. How will future jobs satisfy children’s expectations of having it all? How will their pampered, sheltered childhoods prepare them for the realities of a demanding boss or adult responsibilities? Will they ever learn to wait, work toward, or build something of their own?
Ultimately, the greatest gift parents can give their children is the ability to provide for themselves. While it’s tempting to shield them from discomfort, children must learn to navigate their emotions and cope when their instantaneous world slows down. They gain no long-term benefits from being let off the hook or having everything handed to them.
Coach Tom Izzo of the University of Michigan captures it well: “It is a little harder to motivate kids today, I guess because they’ve been pampered so much. We’re in the trophy generation. Give ’em a trophy for 23rd place. Make them feel good. Make mom and dad feel good.”
The question remains: what are you doing as a parent to motivate your child?
