One Norwegian study followed nearly 85,000 women during pregnancy and the first few years of their children’s lives. According to their findings, a woman’s self-esteem is linked to relationship satisfaction. It falls during pregnancy and rises throughout the first six months of her child’s life. It then steadily declines over the following years, reaching its lowest point around the child’s third birthday.

But why do women experience insecurity and poor self-esteem after becoming mothers?

Mom-Worth Doubts: Am I Good Enough?

Are you overly concerned that you are not doing things right as a parent? Do you feel disconnected from your spouse and children or fear that your kids don’t like you? You can’t recall the last time you enjoyed a lovely meal, laughed with them, or felt at ease in their company.

It is usual for parents to experience worry and self-doubt about whether they are good parents to their children. But what happens when this anxiety affects your mood, relationships, and daily life? And where do these mom-worth issues come from anyway?

Self-Limiting Beliefs

This anxiety, though, may arise from the deep-seated belief that you are not good enough, failing, or not deserving of love and respect. As a result, many women face self-worth difficulties due to skewed perceptions of themselves due to these self-limiting ideas.

Working with a qualified coach can help you work through past painful experiences, debunk self-limiting beliefs, and heal your relationship with yourself.

Unattainable Goals and Expectations

Their own unreasonable expectations as well as those placed on moms by society can contribute to low self-esteem and self-worth issues.

In modern society, mothers are held to exceptionally high standards in their various roles. You are expected to be a flawless caregiver, home economist, lover, and career woman. You should never slip up in your personal or professional life. You make sure you keep your emotions buttoned up and keep your children, house, and appearance spotless.

These unrealistic standards can make women feel inadequate and undeserving of recognition and praise.

Parenting coaching may be the right place to learn how to prioritize your needs, overcome anxiety, and improve your self-worth.

Comparing Yourself to Others

Since the introduction of social media, there has been a significant increase in the amount of pressure placed on women. Do you become depressed and anxious, or at least uncomfortable, looking at all those images of flawless mothers and their seemingly perfect family lives?

It’s so easy today to fall into the comparison trap and feel like a failure compared to those idealized images.

You might feel better if you keep reminding yourself that the photos on social media are filtered versions of real life.

You Can Get Past Anxieties Regarding Your Mom’s Value

Being a good parent is not about being perfect in every way. It is about loving yourself, your children, and your family and raising your kids to be stable, healthy, and happy adults.

So, here are some things to keep in mind.

Parenting is hard work

You are taking on a big responsibility as a parent, and you are trying your best. Therefore, you ought to give yourself credit for everything, no matter how big or small, that you do right. Prioritize self-care. Giving yourself an emotional, mental, and physical break is essential for your well-being.

Humans are Bound to Make Mistakes

No one is Perfect

We all make mistakes, and that’s normal. What is important is to recognize your mistakes, learn from them, and then move on.

You Don’t Have to Struggle Alone

Consider seeking assistance from a life coach if you need guidance or support. A skilled professional can help set realistic expectations, prioritize self-care, and work through your deep-rooted issues with self-worth.

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Years ago, you could eat or drink anything without it sticking to your body, but now it feels like nothing you do can make you look toned and attractive like you once were. You’ve been working hard on yourself. You’re fine-tuning your nutrition, and your workouts have felt really good. Your friends and family are starting to notice. They’re complimenting you and making remarks about the changes they’ve seen. The scale is moving, and your clothes are fitting differently, but for some reason, you cannot see any of the changes. You still feel like you look the same as when you first started.

The inability to see yourself in a positive light could be the result of body dysmorphia.

What is Body Dysmorphia?

Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is one of the most severe cases of distorted body image. A distorted body image is usually to blame whenever someone doesn’t have an accurate view of themselves. Body dysmorphia is a disorder where an individual will have an excessive and persistent fixation over perceived flaws in their own appearance that typically go unnoticed by others, even their loved ones like family and friends.

The Causes

Similar to other conditions and disorders, there isn’t one singular cause of body dysmorphia. Several factors can play a role in someone developing signs and symptoms of body dysmorphia.

Here are a few of the potential causes or triggers of body dysmorphia:

• Abuse
• Anxiety
• Bullying
• Depression
• Family history
• Perfectionism
• Pressure from society
• Unrealistic beauty standards

The Signs and Symptoms

You may start noticing someone struggling with body dysmorphia due to how they talk about themselves. For example, they may choose words like ugly, gross, or disgusting to describe themselves. They also may choose these words to describe parts of their body they’re not happy with.

These are the most common areas of the body that someone with body dysmorphia usually fixates on:

• Complexion
• Face
• Hair
• Height
• Legs
• Scars
• Skin
• Thighs
• Weight

Individuals with body dysmorphia usually go to extreme lengths to change something in their appearance that they see as a flaw. Someone suffering from body dysmorphia will spend a lot of their time and energy obsessing over their perceived flaws, finding ways to hide or fix them, and hoping that no one will be able to notice them.

These are some of the most common symptoms of body dysmorphia:

• Avoiding mirrors or having their photo taken
• Body checks
• Change in diet or exercise routine
• Constant comparison to others
• Excessive shopping
• Financial issues
• Hiding areas of the body with makeup, clothing, or objects like blankets or pillows
• Increased time spent on grooming and hygiene
• Medical appointments, procedures, surgeries, and expenses
• Obsessive thoughts about their appearance and body
• Problems with school, home life, or relationships due to fixation on body image
• Skin picking
• Seeking reassurance, validation, and approval
• Withdrawing from social events

Treatment Options

Body dysmorphia is treatable. Treatment options usually include therapy, coaching, medication, or a combination. Cognitive Behavioral based work or Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) are the most common for body dysmorphia. The goal of CBT is to change the negative thinking patterns that a patient may have regarding their appearance. ERP therapy gradually exposes the patient to some of their fears to overcome them moving forward.

Next Steps

If you or someone you love is struggling with body dysmorphia, it’s important to reach out for help and support.

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