You know that saying about office romances? “Not in your own backyard!” It means that if you have to carry on an office romance – especially an illicit one – try to do the hanky-panky outside the confines of the executive boardroom.
However, if you’re finally tying the knot and you want something more personalized and intimate, instead of celebrating in the antiseptic, cold hotel ballrooms, getting married in your own backyard – or that of your parents – isn’t such a bad idea. There may be more logistics involved because the area is right on your property, unlike holding a reception in an inn or hotel where every little detail is taken care of by the staff. However, the thousand and one details in planning a backyard wedding are worth all the trouble. It is one of the most exciting yet solemn life events you can have. Years after the wedding, when you’re lazing by the pool or watching the flowers grow as you relax on your hammock, you’ll have fond memories of your backyard wedding. And if you’re a sentimental soul who vividly remembers every detail, you’ll know the exact spot where you exchanged vows, where you and your father danced the first dance, and how the canopies and huge umbrellas were set up so flawlessly.
Backyard weddings are held “au naturel,” where the flowers and leaves sway with the breeze, and where the blue of the swimming pool makes guests linger in awe.
Backyard Weddings – Think “Logistics”
Most people who love their homes and prefer intimate gatherings for special occasions would like to wed in their own turf, so to speak, but you’ll need to crunch the numbers to decide if you still want to go through with it. The truth is, backyard weddings can be significantly more expensive than the $20,000 average spent on a wedding held in a church, social hall, or hotel. This often comes as a surprise because many don’t realize the level of detailed planning required for a backyard wedding.
Next to cost, there are physical considerations: How many people can be comfortably accommodated in your backyard before it feels cramped? What about parking? Where will your guests park without encroaching on your neighbors’ private spaces? If you plan to solve this parking issue by hiring a shuttle to ferry your guests from a designated point to your house, how much will that cost?
No one can predict the weather with 100% accuracy. You may want to consider rain and mud when deciding on a backyard wedding – even if you’re getting married on the hottest day of summer. Many geographical areas tend to be fickle when it comes to Mother Nature. The day could start out sunny and bright, only to turn gray and ominous with the threat of thunder and lightning in the afternoon. Do you have an alternative location in case it rains?
Naturally, you’ll want the wedding and reception grounds to be spotless. Make sure that the contracts you sign with the landscaper, tent providers, florists, pest control company, and décor artists include a cancellation provision or a refund policy, should you decide to cancel the backyard wedding a month before the date. It might also be a smart move to reserve a hotel venue, just in case the backyard turns into a disaster area after a heavy storm.
Of course, if you’re getting married in the winter months… well, let’s forget about the backyard, okay? Your guests won’t be saying, “What a wonderful backyard wedding!” Instead, they’ll be muttering, “What a foolish and backward wedding – standing in the cold like that in stilettos!”
Other Details
There’s more to backyard weddings than just cost, space, and weather issues. Just because it’s a backyard wedding doesn’t mean you can overlook your house. You may need to redecorate or make improvements to the house as well.
Restrooms If you have a large estate with a dozen washrooms, you have nothing to worry about – provided they all work. Check that your restrooms can accommodate your guests. Is the plumbing system up to par? One of the most unpleasant things is having toilets that don’t flush properly due to frequent use. If necessary, you’ll need to plan for portable toilets (but make sure they’re not eyesores).
“Amenities”
You’ll have guests who need to be on the phone or check their emails once every hour. Do you have a sufficient number of phones and internet facilities? People also worry about babies left alone with a babysitter, so they’ll need to check in on them as well.Floral Décor
Your tables and chairs will add a more festive touch to your backyard wedding if you choose flowers with non-offensive smells and bright, subtle colors. Make sure the table flowers don’t obstruct the view of your guests, take up too much space, or have falling petals that could land on their plates!Dance Floor
Will the dancing be inside the house or in the backyard? If it’s going to be outside, do you have a good dance floor that can be rented so guests can dance to the tunes of George Gershwin or the Dixie Chicks without tripping? Backyard carpets are also “à la mode.” You can rent them for the convenience of your guests.Water, Water, Water Everywhere!
If it’s a warm, sunny day and guests are enjoying overflowing champagne, they may eventually need to hydrate. Make sure you have pretty pitchers of water at strategic points in the backyard.A Note About Attire
Consider adding a note in your invitation letting guests know they can wear casual clothing since it’s a backyard wedding. Or perhaps inform them that they are welcome to bring their bathing suits if they want to splash in the pool. This will go a long way with guests, as they’ll appreciate not having to wear a stiff tuxedo or a cumbersome flowing gown.Go Pro
Friends like to actively participate in the planning process, but you can’t afford to skimp on quality. Set aside worries about cost and hire only experienced professionals. If you have a large guest turnout, professionals are essential.Catering
Sit down with your caterer and establish essential parameters: number of guests, extra plates, appetizers, the main meal, dessert, coffee, equipment, and utensils. Make sure there is enough food and beverage. Will your caterer ensure that food is not served too early to avoid spoilage and that the salad greens don’t wilt?Service Providers (invitations, wedding cake, favors, music, photographer, tents, carpets, flowers, pest control, yard furniture, linens, etc.)
Chances are, you’ll be having lots of discussions with multiple providers. Study their contracts carefully and pay attention to their cancellation and refund policies. Have them put everything in writing, down to the last detail. The last thing you want on your wedding day is to discover that a particular service is not included when you thought it was.Pool and Landscaping
Needless to say, the pool is an attention-grabber, so make sure there are no floating creepy creatures. If guests intend to take a splash, ensure the water is sparkling clean! As for landscaping, your backyard might need some grooming, especially if the shrubs and weeds are out of control!
Don’t Neglect Your Neighbors
We don’t mean invite them, because you’re under no obligation. But do have the courtesy to inform them well in advance that there will be a “celebration” in the neighborhood, that a band will be playing until a certain hour, and that there may be 20-30 additional cars parked in the area.
This way, they won’t think your house is the site of a crime scene worthy of a visit from Sherlock Holmes. And, of course, they’ll think you’re a well-mannered, considerate neighbor!
