Do you always find yourself rushing to your next meeting only to arrive ten minutes late? Are you often the last one to show up at a dinner party with friends? If so, you may have a chronic tardiness problem. Not only will this habit keep you in a constant state of chaos and haste, but you may also be unintentionally sending the message to your friends and coworkers that you don’t value their time. If this sounds familiar, take note as we explore how being tardy can be a sign of disrespect!
Everyone has someone in their life who is never on time, no matter how much advance notice or how many reminders are given. People usually recognize this habit early in a relationship and come to expect the constant late arrivals. They might even tell the tardy friend that a party starts 30 minutes earlier than it actually does or ask them to meet for coffee 15 minutes before they plan to arrive. Anyone who does this to compensate for another person’s lack of urgency to arrive on time should be considered a very understanding friend. Many others, however, grow frustrated with the constant waiting and excuses for being late, eventually becoming resentful of the tardy person for wasting their time—because, let’s face it, they have things to do too! More often than not, it’s the latter that takes place.
Please Be On Time – Don’t Make Me Wait
When you commit to meeting someone—whether it’s for work at 9 AM or for coffee at 10:15—you are telling them, “Yes, I’ll be there to meet and spend time with you.” With your job, you’re making yourself available for work, productivity, listening, and critical thinking. With a friend, you’re offering shared time for conversation, possibly even to talk through problems. When you arrive late, you cut into that promised time because something else has captured your attention and energy. This “something else” could be anything—laundry, sleep, doing your hair, playing video games, checking emails—whatever it is, it keeps you from honoring your commitment to the other person. You allow that other thing to control you, and in doing so, you prevent yourself from keeping the appointment.
As your friend arrives at the coffeehouse at 10:15, they are there because they said they would be. In other words, they are honoring their word. They agreed to meet because they value the time spent with you enough to make the extra trip, using their own time to drive there. While they wait, the time that you might have spent together slips away. They are left thinking about all the other things they could have done during that time. They could have done laundry, checked their email, or played video games, but they didn’t—because they chose to meet with you instead. Time with you was more important to them than those other tasks. But, what does their time mean to you?
By showing up late—whether it’s by 15 minutes or an hour—you are, whether intentionally or not, communicating through your actions that your friend’s, coworker’s, or teacher’s time is not valuable to you. You are also breaking a verbal commitment, which erodes trust. In a world where there are fewer hours in the day than we’d like, you are making someone waste their precious time on you by choosing something else over them. This is the ultimate sign of disrespect. Not only are you disrespecting others, but you’re also becoming a liar when you repeatedly set up engagements only to break them. How can you maintain friendships or impress a boss if you can’t establish trust and respect?
The only way to mend the effects of chronic tardiness is to address the root cause of the problem. In today’s world, many adults and children are so overscheduled with sports, classes, and work that one misstep or delay can cause chaos when trying to arrive on time. Slow down your life. Relish breaks and downtime, and allow your children to rest. For those who aren’t overscheduled but still find themselves constantly late, try using a planner. Write down appointments or meetings and give yourself ample time to get wherever you need to go. If needed, set your alarm 30 minutes ahead to ensure you have enough time to get ready for work. If you know you’re going to be late to a meeting or event, call ahead to reschedule. It’s time to realize that your actions are not only hurting others but also damaging your own character.
Being tardy is a sign of disrespect. It communicates that you don’t value others’ time and that other things are more important to you than they are. You can stop being tardy today by making a conscious decision to stay on schedule. You know how long it takes you to get to work—so leave with enough time! If you need to buy a watch or set reminders for yourself, do it. Your friends, coworkers, family members, and many others will be grateful.
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A simple woman