Marriage Advice

Birthday Presents for a Wife – What Should You Get Her?

You have to feel sorry for the wife. In many families, she is the one who makes birthdays special, planning surprise parties and favorite homemade cakes. Then her birthday comes a long and it is simply more of the same. She might get homemade scrambled eggs or strawberry pancakes but the gifts and festivities seem to rove that she is thought of as little more than the queen of home economics. After all, how many men get pots, pans or a new broom for their birthday (unless they are a chef)? If the new broom is given by a 3-year old who after seeing mommy sweep the floors with a broken broom feels it is a nice gift – but from a husband, it is a different story altogether. Remember the article entitled ‘birthday gifts for a WIFE’” not for a mom.

When you shop for your wife, you have a few choices. You can go with the run of the mill perfume, bath soaps or jewelry thinking that diamonds and Chanel really are a girl’s best friend or you can go to the extra mile and decide that a very special and personal gift will give you a better chance at some birthday lovemaking. What many men (not all) forget is that their wife is also a woman, and that she more than likely has special interests and passions all her own that when recognized can make her feel good. Even though she may slave away fixing dinner and tucking in the corners of sheets, it is seriously doubtful that those are areas of her life where she wants to receive a gift.

Begin by remembering who your wife was before she was your wife. Did she love to run on the beach? Was she a fanatical writer? Did she love a certain kind of music or did she have a favorite restaurant? Remember the things about her that sparked HER interests and try to find a gift to match. For many women, losing themselves as a wife or mother is the most common complaint and when a man (especially a husband) works to remind and therefore respect who they are on the inside, a wife can feel truly special and loved. In fact, a hand embossed journal and a beautiful pen might not be as expensive as a diamond, but for a woman who loves to write it shows that know who she is. Similarly, taking her on a trek through time to plan dinner out at her old time favorite restaurant (where the kids are not welcome) may be just the thing to prove that you really still care about her feelings.

Woman (and wives in particular) are much more sentimental than men are. They don’t want a gift from their husband that is generic and not thought out. What a woman wants is a man who will take the time to be thoughtful and put some preparation into a gift. A bouquet of flowers delivered as you return from work on the day of her birthday, means nothing. But flowers that were ordered and sent several days before means the world. The point is that you should remember her birthday without being reminded and use some extra inertia to make it special. Even if the flowers are wilted and the cake it lopsided, the fact that you planned something on your own without prompts or help from the mother in law will win her heart.

It is difficult to pinpoint exact birthday gift ideas for a wife for the sole reason that your wife is different from all others. However, if your wife has children you can bet that any thing that includes her children will be appreciated. Try purchasing a personalized charm bracelet, or gathering all the kids together for a surprise family picture. You can also engage the kids to help you create a magical gift. Giving each child some paint, purchasing a real painting canvas, and having the artwork framed tastefully can be a phenomenal gift that not only shows pre-thought but thoughtfulness. This can be a great side item to the broom, which shows the husband truly knows what his wife wants.

Another excellent gift although most women will deny it outwardly is anything that involves pampering. A gift certificate to a massage, to getting nails or hair done or some exquisite and tasteful lingerie that will make her feel sexy and loved are great. This shows that you see your wife as a more than just your wife and as a person who deserves to be treated special. If your use some creativity to present these gifts, you will get some extra brownie points as well.

One unexpected birthday gift idea for a wife is to allow her to wholly take a day off. Regardless of her normal duties, plan special things throughout the day so that her birthday is special and unique. Hire a babysitter, call the boss and tell him that she won’t be in that day (then turn off the alarm), have a housecleaner come in and thoroughly clean the house so she can be privy to clean sheets she didn’t have to wash first. The point is if you give her a special day that is unlike her normal one, it will show that you are an amazing husband who knows exactly what your wife really wants and needs.

There is also one bit of advice that should be heeded! Many women will say that they don’t want anything. They may say they don’t want to go out to dinner, that they don’t like flowers or that they want something practical like a dishwasher or stainless steel trashcan. To an extent, that may be true however, she does want something. She wants to be remembered. She wants to be thought of as more than a machine. She wants to be respected and admired and she wants her husband to do something special. You cannot present her with the new trashcan (and the broom) and then assume that she will be happy even if she said that is all she wanted. Why? Because as a wife, she wants to be seen as practical. She also wants to be seen as more than one of those women who is hard to upkeep. She also may be worried about money. But at the end of the day, even though she may be embarrassed to receive your perfect gift of thoughtfulness she will be happy that you didn’t listen to her. And in the end’…you will be too!

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