Women today are given great liberties when it comes to planning their birth. Some even opt for Cesarean sections and choose the exact date for delivery to suit their family or personal schedules. With all this planning, it can be easy to forget that childbirth and delivery are two of those things in life that don’t always go according to plan. Still, it’s wise to create an informed birthing plan and outline your wishes clearly to avoid any misunderstandings or mistakes during the delivery of your baby.
One of the best aspects of developing a birthing plan before labor and delivery is that it gives you and your partner the perfect opportunity to learn what to expect, and to explore the many options available. One often overlooked detail is deciding who you want present at the birth. Too many women find themselves in labor with a waiting room full of people—some of whom they barely know—who feel comfortable walking in just as the nurse yells, “Push!”
Even if you’re not particularly modest, the last thing you may want is your boss or your husband’s second cousin getting an unexpected view of your most private moment. Including your preferences about who is allowed in the room in your birthing plan takes the pressure off of you. The nursing staff can enforce your boundaries, and you won’t be blamed for asking your mother-in-law or anyone else to step out. Just say, “It’s hospital policy!”
Making the Most of Your Birthing Experience
A comprehensive birthing plan also allows you to outline your choices for pain management and medical interventions. Many birthing centers and hospitals offer pre-printed birthing plan forms, which are incredibly helpful. These forms provide a bird’s-eye view of all the options available. Some are so detailed they allow you to specify everything from lighting preferences to background music, whether you want a water birth, or if you’d prefer to remain mobile during labor.
You may discover options such as birthing stools or squatting chairs—choices many women never even knew existed simply because they didn’t explore a birthing plan ahead of time.
Many facilities also allow you to decide whether you want constant fetal monitoring, assistance from nurses during pushing, or to be left alone as much as possible. You can also state your preferences about receiving an episiotomy.
For those who aren’t squeamish, you can request a vaginal mirror, the opportunity to touch the baby’s head as it crowns, or even designate the father-to-be to catch or pull the baby out. If you want to cut the umbilical cord—or have your partner do it—a birthing plan ensures those wishes are respected.
You can also express your preferences for your baby’s immediate postpartum care. Many women miss their baby’s first bath or discover a pacifier was offered before they had a chance to breastfeed. A detailed plan will make it clear that you are in charge. If you’re breastfeeding, be sure to state that the breast should be offered before any artificial nipples or pacifiers. If you’re having a boy, your plan should also specify your wishes about circumcision.
And that’s just the beginning.
Birthing plans empower you to take the lead in your birth experience. You can include who’s invited for the first “meet and greet” with your newborn, whether you want your other children involved, and even what your baby should be dressed in. These details might seem minor, but many women report negative birth experiences that contribute to postpartum emotional struggles. Often, women are rushed into decisions or procedures without realizing alternatives exist. It’s not that hospital staff are unkind—they’re simply doing their job, often on a busy 12-hour shift. But for you, this moment is one of the most significant of your life.
Your postpartum preferences can also be included. You may want a private room, prefer your baby to room with you, or feel more comfortable with a nursery. You might want to delay certain immunizations or routine exams until you’re present. If you don’t make these preferences known in advance, decisions may be made without your input.
It’s absolutely essential to understand that even the most detailed birthing plan can’t guarantee everything will go as expected. Your baby might arrive breech. You might experience signs of fetal distress. Your partner might be out of town. And even if you were determined not to take pain medication, the pain might be intense enough to make you change your mind—and that’s okay. Plans are there to guide, not restrict.
Also, your doctor’s primary responsibility is to ensure the safety of both you and your baby. This may mean making decisions that weren’t part of your plan. Having a last-minute C-section is not a failure. Some babies experience complications after birth and must be taken to the NICU. Flexibility is key. Your well-being and your baby’s health always come first, even if it means shifting away from the plan.
Birthing plans have an important role in pregnancy. Check with your birthing center or hospital for printable versions, which can help you think through all the options. At the very least, your plan will spark important conversations between you, your partner, and your doctor. Keep in mind that labor can happen suddenly—maybe on a weekend when your favorite OBGYN is on vacation. That’s why your birthing plan should be on file at your hospital and packed in your bag.
Childbirth is a once-in-a-lifetime event you can’t redo. While you can’t control every detail, you can take a proactive approach to ensure your wishes are respected as much as possible. That’s the true purpose of a birthing plan: to help you, your baby, and your family experience one of life’s most miraculous moments with intention, clarity, and confidence.
