Breaking Up With Your Hairdresser

Woman getting her hair cut

You’ve had the same best hairdresser friend for a while. Though you don’t see her very often, you depend on her every 6–8 weeks to ensure you look your best! But then, one day, you get the inkling that you may want a change. After all, she (or he) has been doing your hair for the past four years, and you’re starting to feel bored with your look or notice that the longer you stay with her, the less attention she seems to pay to your hairdo. Your hair is growing out faster, or the color just isn’t as vibrant as it used to be. So, you begin your “hairdresser infidelity” by texting a friend whose hair you adore, asking her for the name of her hairdresser.

Are You Breaking Up with Your Hairdresser?

Sometimes, the breakup happens by accident. You go in to get your brows done and a quick trim, only to find your regular hairdresser is out sick and someone new does your hair in her absence. Instantly, you fall in love with your new look. Unfortunately, they work at the same salon, and now you’re faced with the difficult choice of angering your regular hairdresser by “cheating” on them with one of their co-workers. On the other hand, YOU realize that you’re paying for a service, and shouldn’t your happiness be the key factor in who does your hair?

Most women who break up with their hairdresser tend to avoid the situation as much as possible. Even though you like the technique of a fellow hairdresser in the same salon, you might find a new salon across town rather than deal with the uncomfortable territory wars between stylists. The truth is, hairdressers are a dime a dozen. But good hairdressers? Not so much. Many women become dependent and loyal to one hairdresser, often experiencing mini panic attacks at the thought of handing control of their hair (often considered one of the most prized female possessions) to someone else. So if you get caught cheating on your hairdresser behind their back and later need to return, how will you handle the discomfort?

The good news is that there are tips for handling the breakup with your hairdresser that can make it easier on both you and them.

The first tip, provided by Jodyne Speyer, author of Dump ‘Em: How to Break Up with Anyone, From Your Best Friend to Your Hairdresser, is to be as specific as possible. For example, you can say, “I noticed that this last haircut grew out a lot faster than the previous ones,” or “The color had more yellow than usual.”

In her book, she urges women to be upfront and honest about their feelings before situations get to the point where they’re tempted to be sneaky or deceptive. Considering that the hairdressing industry is extremely competitive and you’re a paying client, the relationship should be handled professionally. While women may be comfortable complaining about a bad restaurant experience, many are not that assertive with their hairdresser. By giving your hairdresser a heads-up, they will likely realize that you’re considering a breakup unless their service and attention to your hair improve immediately. Most hairdressers who work hard to retain their clientele will react accordingly. If they get angry or resentful, simply walk away.

It’s also important to give your hairdresser a chance to fix the problem. If you come home and feel that your service was all wrong, don’t hesitate to call them and voice your concerns. A good hairdresser will schedule a follow-up appointment to help resolve the issue at no charge. When speaking with your hairdresser, be candid. Rather than overdoing it with niceties to soften the blow, get straight to the point. This approach will communicate to your hairdresser that you’re serious about your dissatisfaction and no longer willing to settle for subpar service. Your hairdresser can either step up their game or you can easily find someone else.

Sometimes, a change in hairdresser is exactly what you need. It might not be that your current hairdresser did anything wrong. But every woman goes through phases when they need to update their look. Often, hairdressers become comfortable with the “regular” you, and because they know so much about your personality, they may not be quick to suggest new styles or update your look.

Bottom line: It’s your money, your hair, your choice. You shouldn’t feel guilty about dumping a hairdresser. Doing it dishonestly or sneakily will only make you feel as though you’re doing something wrong. Many hairdressers even admit to wishing certain clients would dump them, and some may even mess up your hair intentionally to push you to switch.

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