Bribing Children with Sugary Treats

As a parent, it becomes second nature to prompt, nudge, motivate, and yes, even bribe our children to behave in the ways that we envision. You know the drill: Your child doesn’t want to change into their pajamas, won’t sit down at the table to eat their dinner, or refuses to pick up their toys for the umpteenth time today. You become exhausted, and then you reach for the bribery straw.

“If you pick up your toys, I’ll give you a cookie.” “If you eat all your vegetables, then you can have dessert.” Or even, “If you get dressed for bed like a big boy, I’ll take you to the store and let you pick out a treat.” Most often, the sugary bribe works – and works well – which is precisely why so many parents resort to it. There’s one side of the parental brain that runs out of innovative ideas to get the kids to conform, and then there’s the other side of the parental brain that knows bribing children is NOT the best way to teach them discipline. Yet, each and every parent has likely sought out quick ways to get their kids to do what they want them to do. And yes, this often involves some form of bribery.

Bribing children with sugary treats is one of the most popular go-to methods for enticing kids to do what mom and dad ask. Even in schools today, many teachers use suckers and sweet treats as rewards for good behavior in the classroom. But is it right? And are there negative implications?

Bribery, in any form, is an inadequate way to motivate others to do what you want. In fact, if you were an adult and tried to bribe someone with money, you’d be guilty of fraud or even embezzlement. Is blackmailing your children really the best way to teach discipline and encourage cooperation?

The Long-Term Effects of Bribery

One of the problems with bribing children with sugary treats is that these rewards are often given for normal, day-to-day tasks that children should eventually learn to do on their own. Tooth brushing, cleaning up after themselves, brushing their hair, eating dinner, behaving well in public, going to bed on time, and doing homework—these are all tasks that kids must learn to do at some point. You might offer a ‘sweet reward’ if your child behaves well at school, but by bribing them to do these routine activities, you fail to teach them self-responsibility.

Sure, your child will conform when there’s a carrot dangling in front of them. Yet, when there’s no bribe, they may act out, knowing that misbehavior could lead to a sweet reward. There are certain things in your child’s life that need firm boundaries, and these expectations should be just that—expectations. Instead of offering rewards for completing them, discipline should be used for NOT completing them. One of the most important lessons parents must teach their children is self-responsibility. Kids need to feel good about handling their responsibilities without needing rewards. They also need to grow up understanding that they will be held to certain expectations throughout life and won’t be rewarded for meeting them.

Another issue with bribing kids with sugary treats is that quick-witted and manipulative children (and all kids can be!) will realize that throwing a little drama can lead to a reward. If your child complies only when you offer a Popsicle or piece of cake, you’re setting yourself up for a vicious cycle of defiance. Eventually, your child will learn that misbehaving leads to more rewards.

Perhaps one of the worst aspects of bribing with sugary treats is that children begin to associate food with emotional comfort. They learn to turn to food as a way to have their needs met, especially when parents use food to diffuse tantrums, anger, or meltdowns. The parent sends a message that if the child stops feeling upset, they’ll get a sweet treat. While it’s true that children can be overemotional and sometimes unreasonable, it’s important that they are taught how to work through their emotions in healthy ways that don’t involve food. In today’s society, with both adult and child obesity rates at all-time highs, it’s evident that we seek comfort or solutions through food. Starting this habit early in childhood can lead to unhealthy lifestyles as kids grow into adults.

Most often, bribery—especially with sweet treats and sugary desserts—leads to instant conformity. This conformity makes parents happy, and then, as parents, we don’t follow through with the necessary discipline.

The truth is, sugary treats as a reward have their place in child-rearing. There’s nothing wrong with rewarding your child for a job well done or for being compliant by offering a candy bar or lollipop. The problem arises when sweet treats are the sole method used to get children to comply with rules and responsibilities.