Can Love Be Bought?
Money can buy comfort and convenience, but not true love—the kind where you can’t live without someone or think about them constantly. The “I-will-die-for-you” love is beyond purchase. However, when it comes to children, especially teenagers, buying their affection is possible, at least temporarily. Why? Children love their parents unconditionally, even if they don’t always show it. The parent-child relationship is a complex dance of love and hate, making it possible to sway their feelings with gifts, particularly in the short term.
The Power of Gifts
Truth is, children always love their parents, even when they’re angry or defiant. A long-desired gift can transform backtalk and eye-rolling into smiles and appreciation, swinging the pendulum in mom and dad’s favor. Buying gifts often feels like a quick fix for parental guilt or mistakes, a way to pad our egos rather than truly deepen our children’s love. After all, they love us—often grudgingly—anyway. While living under our roof, they may think we’re the biggest idiots on earth, but that love persists, right?
The Pitfalls of Buying Affection
There’s nothing wrong with the joy of seeing your child post on Facebook that they have the best mom ever, even if it took an iPhone to get there. The thrill of surprising a five-year-old with a massive trampoline or showering them with birthday gifts brings kisses, smiles, and temporary adoration. But when buying love becomes a lifestyle, problems arise. If gifts replace emotional connection, gratitude, or teaching kids to value what they have, parents set them up for future struggles.
The Long-Term Consequences
Far too many parents, chasing the mythical “Joneses” in today’s economy, go into debt to buy flashy, expensive items—new cars or Jeeps for newly licensed teens, for example—hoping to boost their child’s confidence. This rarely works. Over-relying on gifts creates adults ill-equipped to sustain their lifestyle when parental funds dry up. How will they distinguish needs from wants? How will they build self-worth if everything was handed to them without effort or consequences? Children raised this way may struggle to find fulfillment as adults.
Parenting Beyond Purchases
Understanding that children love us as we are, with what we offer, makes buying their love unnecessary. Kids are naturally self-centered, believing they’re the universe’s epicenter. Parents find joy in giving gifts to see their faces light up, and that’s part of parenthood, not a transaction for love. However, if gifts substitute for genuine parenting or unconditional love, it’s time to rethink priorities. The thrill of a new iPhone fades, leaving parents and kids back in the messy, beautiful love-hate dynamic of their relationship. True love is built on time, connection, and presence—not purchases.
