Every year, thousands of people experience the heartbreaking effects of calling off a wedding. For many, this can be one of the hardest decisions to make, especially if the dress, tuxedo, and cake have already been ordered. However, when done for the right reasons, this decision can significantly benefit the rest of your life.
Good Reasons to Call Off a Wedding
So, what are the good reasons to call off a wedding? The first thing to consider is why you’re getting married in the first place. The institution of marriage today is much different than it was 30 years ago. Historically, marriages were often arranged or done for convenience, frequently for the sake of others. While there are fewer arranged marriages today, many still occur for the wrong reasons.
Marriage should not be based on an ultimatum. Why are you getting married? Is it because you’re hopelessly in love with the person who “completes” you? If any of the following reasons resonate with you, even if your wedding is already planned, it’s probably time to call it off and reconsider your priorities:
- You are afraid of being alone! Your partner may be “okay,” but in reality, you don’t want to end up alone with 10 cats. This means you are settling.
- You’re getting married to escape something—college, your parent’s home, unemployment, or even a problematic roommate.
- You’re marrying out of spite—your parents disapprove of your relationship, or you want to prove something to an ex.
- You’re living out a childhood fantasy about marriage. If you’re more concerned about wedding decorations than the actual person you’re marrying, this might be you.
- Everyone else is getting married, and you feel like you have no other choice but to follow suit.
- If you’re marrying just to have a baby because of a biological clock or a desire to be a parent—think again. There are other options without dragging an unsuspecting partner into the situation.
- Financial reasons. Marriage should be about more than just money. Gold-digging often comes at a hidden cost.
- You were given an ultimatum. If your partner says, “Marry me or else,” choose “or else.” A partner who truly cares wouldn’t pressure you like that, and this will only breed resentment later.
- Pregnancy can sometimes be the catalyst for marriage, but if you’re pregnant by someone you hardly know, reconsider your decision. You can still work on the relationship while raising the child together.
- Pressure from family. Sometimes people end up marrying their high school sweetheart because their families expect it. If it’s meant to be, it will happen naturally, not out of obligation.
- Marrying to find a parent for your child. Raising a child in a loveless marriage is not ideal. Marriage should be for you, not to fulfill a role for your child.
- Citizenship. Believe it or not, this happens more often than you’d think, and it often comes with too many strings attached.
- To prove you’re not gay. Live your life authentically, and avoid the heartbreak of a marriage that’s built on a lie.
Calling off a wedding for any of these reasons can be the right decision. Often, the idea of getting married comes in the heat of the moment. However, marriage is a serious commitment. If you didn’t grow up with an example of a happy marriage, you still deserve to find a partner who will love and support you throughout life’s challenges. If you’re marrying for the wrong reasons, you’re setting yourself up for a lifetime of regret and resentment.
Marriage should always be about what you truly feel in your heart. Your partner should be someone you can’t imagine living without, someone you love and sometimes even hate, but always accept for who they are, and vice versa. In a strong marriage, both individuals feel comfortable being themselves, with laughter and passion as the foundation, even when life gets tough.
There is no failure in calling off a wedding. Even if you’re unsure or need more time, calling it off may offer clarity on how much you value marriage. It’s not something to take lightly, but if you do it right, you’ll only have to do it once.
