Having wealth comes with constantly wondering how can I protect myself from exploitation? After a while, it reaches the point that you’re wondering if wealth and happiness can go together? That’s when you ponder, is it possible to have love and luxury at the same time?

It’s not hard to find great sex (especially if you haven’t been getting any) or someone attractive who validates your ego. But it would be wise to ask the tricky question – are you trading what validates your ego for what facilitates that person’s economic needs? Dating across socio-economic levels is not for the faint of heart.

Although it is rare to see people with both love and luxury, everything is possible if you build the proper foundation!

Let time and pressure reveal all.

Lonely people can be prone to exploitation. Vulnerability is NOT your friend. “Only fools rush in” is more than a great song title. It’s a hell of a warning! Anytime we jump into something because it makes us feel good, we’re setting ourselves up for failure. This is especially true for those who have been single for a long time, the recently divorced or widowed. Being lonely makes even the slightest bit of attention feel great; herein lies the first hurdle – seeing things as truly they are, not what you believe them to be.

Take the time and allow people to reveal who they really are.

Often it’s hard to tell if somebody is with you only because of your money, lifestyle or status. So, before you jump into another in-fatuous relationship, take the time to do some self-reflection. Work on yourself first. Acknowledge where you are in your life and be honest with yourself about who and what you are NOT. Write down what you do and don’t need in a potential mate. Put the needs first, then list the wants. Above all, don’t settle!

When you meet a potential match…

See how the person acts and reacts when the lights go down, and the masks fall off. Pay close attention to the way people show up when:

• they’re angry
• they feel insecure
• they have lack
• they feel threatened
• they’re successful

Things to consider…

Is the other person sincerely living and functioning in ways that align with your core values and beliefs? Do your lifestyles really match? Does this person seek self-improvement and self-awareness on their own, or are you their catalyst for change?

What happens when you’re not around? If the person is doing any of the aforementioned, only time can validate that they are not merely putting on a show for you.

Don’t ignore the red flags.

Learn to spot red flags, first yours, then theirs.

Suppose you live an isolated lifestyle, have a limited social network, are highly introverted, or tend to surround yourself with people who validate you rather than hold you accountable. In that case, this is the right moment to have a deep and honest conversation with yourself.

In the same breath, if you never know what the other person wants. Suppose they become inaccessible when things don’t go their way. To get back into their good graces, do they make you feel guilty until you give them what they want? Do they tend to attack you in ways that depreciate your self-esteem? If any of those things happen, it’s time to stop looking at the person through rose-colored glasses.

Pay attention to how they talk to and about other people. This includes their exes, housekeepers and waiters, friends and especially family. If someone backstabs their “friends,” siblings or acts disrespectfully towards their parents, that says a lot about their character and how they treat others.

How to know if you’re ready for a relationship? 

When you get into something, make sure you’re ready for it. Timing is everything. This means taking out your own emotional trash before getting into a relationship.

Hire a credentialed life coach to get clarity about your life; deal with past traumatic issues that are still impeding your day-to-day life by seeing a licensed counselor. Put mildly – get your shit together before bringing someone into your life. Make needed lifestyle modifications like eliminating chemical dependency or addictive behaviors, and start practicing more self-care.

It certainly wouldn’t hurt to become spiritually grounded. These simple changes position you to have a more meaningful, healthy and productive quality of life.

The goal of any healthy and functional relationship is to compliment your life, not complete it.

Work on yourself. Only a fool rushes into anything. There is nothing wrong with being friends first. Lasting relationships are built on great friendships.

Take Away

Don’t date out of desperation. From day one, have real, no BS conversations. Attack issues in the early stages of dating; those difficult conversations can spare you a lot of heartbreak down the road. Remember – People say what they mean, and they mean what they say. Especially when they try to put humor around it.

Never sacrifice yourself for another person. You may offer some time out of your schedule or compromise and do things for the person you like or love, but anytime a relationship causes you to be anything other than authentically you, it’s not worth it. Time is precious, don’t waste yours.

Dr. D. Ivan Young is a highly sought-after keynote speaker and media personality. Dr. Young an expert on human behavior and building fulfilling relationships, and a Master Credentialed expert on personality type. Dr. Young is an ICF Credentialed Master Certified Coach, Certified Professional Diversity Coach, a National Board-Certified Health and Wellness Coach, as well as a Credentialed Master MBTI Practitioner.

His TEDx Talk on Emotional Intelligence: Using the Laws of Attraction, has received over three million views. He combines his knowledge, vast experience, and exclusive theories to help motivate, educate, and energize any audience, understanding how to connect ‘human to human’ even when addressing the masses. For more information visit www.drdivanyoung.com and www.divanyoung.com.

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Numerous dating sites and apps cater specifically to single moms, providing a great way for them to meet someone who understands and supports their situation.

Of course, it’s not just single moms who are looking for love online. Plenty of other people are also seeking relationships. So, if you’re a single mom and you’re looking for love, don’t hesitate to give online dating a try.

The Top Dos and Don’ts

The Dos of Dating a Single Mom:

• Tell her how independent she is: She is more independent and doesn’t rely on a man to take care of her.
• Show her you see how mature she is: She is usually more mature and level-headed than women without children.
• Respect her ability to handle finances: She knows how to manage a budget and is often more financially stable than women without children.
• Tell her you appreciate her organization skills: She’s used to juggling multiple responsibilities and can handle almost anything that comes her way.
• Praise her patience and understanding: She is often more patient and understanding than women without children.

The Don’ts of Dating a Single Mom:

• Don’t try to take on the role of the father figure. Her child already has a father and doesn’t need another one.
• Don’t be afraid to offer help. Single moms are often juggling many responsibilities and could use an extra set of hands.
• Don’t forget that her children come first. Single moms often make decisions based on what’s best for their kids, not necessarily what’s best for them as individuals.

How Is Dating a Single Mom Different Than Dating Someone Without Kids?

Let’s explore what makes dating single moms unique compared to dating women without children.

One key difference is that dating a single mom requires more understanding and patience. She has to juggle her time between work, taking care of her child, and finding time for you. If she cancels plans last minute or doesn’t have as much time to spend with you as she would like, try to be understanding.

More importantly, single moms often have different priorities than women without children. For example, she may not be as interested in going out and partying all night since she has to get up early for work the next day. Or, she may prefer to spend more time at home with her child rather than going out on dates constantly. It’s crucial to discuss these things early on to ensure you’re both on the same page.

What Are the Potential Challenges?

Like anything else, there are potential challenges when it comes to dating single moms. However, there’s no need to worry or give up on dating a single mom. The key is to become aware of these challenges and learn how to deal with them in a timely manner. Here, we’ll outline some of these challenges and the best ways to handle them.

One common challenge when dating a single mom is time. She may not have a lot of free time to date, as her schedule revolves around her kids’ activities and bedtimes.

Another potential challenge is that she may not want to introduce her children to every man she dates, so you may have to be patient before meeting them.

Additionally, it’s common for single moms to have less disposable income than people without children. You may need to be comfortable with spending more on dates or taking turns paying. It’s important to discuss this early on to avoid surprises later.

Any man who is looking for the warmest love and is willing to learn how to navigate these challenges should have no problem successfully dating a single mom.

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What if it was the opposite?

What if living as a happy, fulfilled, inspired individual was our center point, and the loving relationship came as a result, an offshoot, of this state of being?

Let’s explore some other common misconceptions that can unknowingly keep us in a state of wanting, needing, searching….

#1 Illusion: I need a partner to be happy.

We know that blissful state at the beginning of a loving relationship, where you are bursting with energy and relishing the feeling of unconditional love. That is why it is so easy to believe that you can’t possibly be any happier than when you are with a love.

The longer lasting truth is that if you are not happy from the inside out, your relationships will inevitably mirror your inner disharmony.

The quickest way to falling in love with YOU, therefore attracting another who will fall in love with you, is to take responsibility for making YOU happy. Don’t wait to take the trip, learn the new hobby, or express yourself creatively until you have the perfect partner. Do it now. Be it now. Create a life that you love, just you and you.

From this high vibration state of being, happy and lit up from the inside, your light will attract another who is also happiness personified. Together, you can now celebrate an inspired life together!

#2 Illusion: My True Love will complete me.

It is tempting to identify with your partner to the extent that their accomplishments or talents make you feel that much more accomplished or talented. You feel like a better person because they are “your’s.”

In reality, what you are doing is giving away your own precious self to a place outside of yourself.

Whatever you desire or admire in a lover is what you desire for yourself. Lets get you into your own center, free to be your most authentic self, liberated from others’ expectations, and fearlessly pursuing those things that bring you joy.

Are you attracted to the outdoorsy type? Create opportunities to get outside and into some wild adventures now!

Are you attracted to the cultured, well-read type? Buy the tickets, take the class, travel to the sacred site to fill YOU up with what you love.

What fills you up? Do more of that and along the way you may just find yourself AND your true love!

#3 Illusion: I won’t feel alone if I am in love.

It is easy to feel separate and alone in the world.

Your ego, the aspect of you that is responsible for keeping you fed, sheltered, bills paid, etc. sees the world as a place separate from yourself. This aspect of you is logical, linear, performance driven, and fear-based. It is the part of you that gets the promotion, the gold star, the approving nods or reviews.

So we think that a romantic relationship will eliminate our loneliness. And you probably have felt more alone than ever while IN a relationship, right? The secret is to shift your awareness to a state of oneness, of intimate connection with YOU.

To balance your ego, your individual sense, you have its perfect dance partner, your spirit, your “Big Self” that knows only oneness and that is fearless. It can’t see you as separate; it knows only connection. The key to feeling connected, even when you are “single,” is to focus your attention on what inspires (inspire means “spirit within”) you.

You can FREE yourself from perceptions of aloneness, and liberate yourself from the belief that you are separate from the whole, and center your awareness in the states of being that light you up from the inside out. Choose activities that tap your sense of being into the bigger world around and within you. Connect to a cause, create a home that is sacred to you, immerse your imagination in those visions that make your heart sing. Be fearless. Create new opportunities to stretch yourself.

You are a Life Artist. The art that you are creating is your life. No one else can create it for you. Live inspired and, like moths to a flame, your inspired love match will find you!

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A military man cuts an impressive figure in his uniform, enjoys a reliable paycheck, comprehensive healthcare, and the possibility of living in exciting places like Japan or Italy. At first glance, he may seem like the ideal future husband. In many ways, this is true, but dating a Soldier, Sailor, Airman, or Marine comes with unique considerations. While these men bring many strengths to a relationship, there are also challenges to navigate. Below, we explore both the benefits and drawbacks of dating a military service member.

One of the primary advantages of dating a military man is financial stability. Service members receive bi-monthly paychecks that are entirely expendable income, as housing and healthcare costs are covered. A young enlisted member might earn about $600 per paycheck after taxes, equating to roughly $1,200 a month for personal use. Many civilians earning significantly more would envy this level of disposable income.

Healthcare is another key benefit. The military provides free health and dental care for service members, with free healthcare and low-cost dental plans for their families. However, military hospitals often lag behind civilian facilities in resources and expertise, as many doctors are relatively new to their practice. For this reason, some military families choose civilian doctors, incurring an affordable insurance premium.

The military also supports its families’ physical needs beyond healthcare. Married service members receive a housing allowance based on local median rental rates and a food allowance. Military installations offer tax-free shopping, low-cost fitness facilities, and affordable family activities. For a woman seeking financial security and marriage, a relationship with a military man is a solid choice. However, if marriage isn’t a priority, these benefits may matter less, and the challenges become more relevant.

Navigating the Challenges of Military Life

Military training profoundly shapes service members. Basic training breaks them down psychologically, rebuilding them as disciplined, weapon-bearing fighters. This process fosters teamwork and resilience but often results in less refined behavior compared to civilians who pursue college or office careers. Coarse language and camaraderie become second nature, which can feel jarring in a romantic context.

Deployments to challenging regions like Iraq or Afghanistan can intensify these issues. The emotional toll of losing comrades or facing danger often leads to emotional withdrawal as a coping mechanism. This hyper-vigilance, necessary in combat, can persist upon returning home, making it difficult for service members to relax in public or reconnect emotionally. Many resist seeking help, viewing it as an admission of weakness. Partners may need to exercise patience and gently encourage counseling to address these changes.

Another significant challenge is the strain of long-distance relationships. Deployments, lasting from three months to a year, can involve foreign bases or naval assignments. Maintaining trust during these periods is difficult, especially with stories of infidelity circulating among peers. For married couples, deployments create additional pressures. Explaining a parent’s absence to young children can cause anxiety, and the partner at home must take on both parental roles, managing all household duties alone. When the service member returns, reintegrating into family roles can lead to tension, as both partners adjust to new dynamics. These challenges require time, patience, and understanding to resolve.

So, why pursue such a relationship? If you’ve found someone you love, their military service should not deter you. These challenges are highlighted not to discourage you but to prepare you for the realities of dating an Airman, Marine, Sailor, or Soldier. Understanding these potential obstacles equips you to handle them effectively.

One often-overlooked benefit is the profound loyalty and trust military service fosters. Having faced life-and-death situations alongside comrades, a military man develops a deep sense of faith and commitment. If you can earn his trust and become a true partner, you’ll find a devoted and loyal companion, making you feel truly cherished.

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Sometimes these experiences can leave us feeling weary and pessimistic, validating our negative beliefs about dating and even worse, about ourselves.

However, our transformation lies in our power to use our past experiences as guideposts to move forward in the dating world.  By understanding what we learned from the past, we grow to be wiser, better versions of ourselves.

Here are five steps on how to transform your past experiences. Spiritual teacher Ram Das called this kind of inner reflection “grist for the mill” — the alchemy that happens when every experience matters and is utilized for personal growth. Imagine approaching all of your dating and past relationships in this light.

1. Make a thorough list of the gifts and lessons for each past significant dating relationship.

Every relationship offers a gift, even if it involved betrayal, hurt and anger.  Ask yourself what you learned and how you changed with each particular dating experience.

Example: Jon – taught me about my power to get out of a bad situation and voice my feelings and needs.

2. After you have clarified the lessons from each relationship, write a “thank you” note in your journal to each significant person from the past.

By “wrapping” experiences with gratitude, there is a freedom to move forward.

Example: “Dear Jon, I realize that you were exactly what I needed at that time in my life when we were together to show me that I deserve more love than what you were able to bring to me.  I thank you for being exactly as you were with me to help me wake up to my sense of worthiness. You were my turning point and for this, I am grateful.”

3. Write down what is now “Unacceptable” to you as well as what are the “Essentials” in dating.

As we gather information from our experiences, it becomes clearer what is “Unacceptable” and what is essential in the qualities of people we choose to spend time with. By naming it, we have guidelines for our future dating experience.

Example: Unacceptable – rage outbursts.  Essentials: Ability to deal with conflict

4. Write a permission-giving list for what you want to experience in your dating life. Examples: fun, sensuality, laughter, dancing, eroticism, boundaries, directness, eye contact, affection.

5. Visualize yourself living into your permission-giving list with another person. Be aware of the sensations in your body as you visualize your life blossoming.

By visualizing yourself enjoying the experience of dating and being in relationships, you bring it into the present moment. By imagining the experience of yourself that you want to have, you are now not just thinking about it but rather, your physiological state receives the benefits by the act of seeing and feeling into the experience as if it is truly happening right now. The more detail you can allow in your visualization, the deeper you will cultivate a sense of well-being and empowerment.

Take your time with each step. As you do this inner work with each step, notice what changes inside of you and know that you are moving forward. Grist for the Mill!

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The key when writing your online profile is to make sure the “catch” isn’t a dealbreaker for the type of person you’re hoping to attract. You have to express who you really are, what you truly want, and what you bring to the table. This can be difficult because the entire world seems fixated on having you appeal to a mystical group called “everyone.” Fortunately, there are ways to be genuinely expressive in your online profile.

Forget Everyone

The idea of “forgetting everyone” doesn’t mean you should never think of anyone. In fact, it means you should stop trying to appeal to everyone. The online world is essentially a presentation of who you are and what you’re looking for. This is highly individual.

When it comes down to it, you’re either looking for a relatively small group of people to have fun with, or a single person to marry and spend your life with. To attract this particular group, whoever they may be, you have to be willing to offend and turn off a large portion of the population. You must be ready to say and show things about yourself that will excite a small group that you genuinely want, while being off-putting to the many groups you don’t want.

Be Unafraid

Many people are obsessed with the strange notion of what they “should” want. Whether it’s their home, their car, their job, their friends, or their significant other, many walk around with an idea of what they think other people want them to desire. This leads them to ignore their own desires, suppress their passions, and walk through life unhappy because they’re not pursuing what truly brings them joy.

When you want to talk to and date black singles, pursue your own goals and your personal highest level of joy. If you only date a particular group or a specific race because you believe they are socially acceptable, you’re allowing strangers and acquaintances to dictate how you live your life. You need to clearly state the type of people you’re seeking and be unafraid of being ostracized for it.

It’s true that this is the 21^st century, and hatred should be long gone. Unfortunately, there will always be hateful people. No matter what they say, express the real you and seek the people you’ll truly be happy with.

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The birds and beasts are all mating during the spring time, a natural and biological phenomenon that we as humans also need for survival. The basic needs food, water, air, sleep, exercise and many would say a mate are all inherent components necessary for sustainability and happiness.

When searching for that perfect match to fill the void in our lives we open up vital intense feelings that may have been missing during those more dormant days of winter.

During these months the hibernation affect takes hold and we are mostly hidden away in our solitary worlds.

During the latent fall when the weather shifts so does the hormonal shifts within our biology. There is a chill in the air and the bodies response is to shelter us from the upcoming days of winter.

The warm sunny days of summer create the already established connection with a partner to a new and in depth level. That spring-time love in bloom that began as a passionate connection can now move towards a more companionate one.

6 things to keep in mind when looking for love

Fuel his desire.

Biology dictates how genders are wired. Men seek pretty faces, sweet tastes and pleasurable smells. Pheromones enter into play and it seems that spring time floods men and women with these tantalizing hormones. These endorphins make men feel powerful yet compassionate, focused and disciplined. He is the “hero” protector, serving the needs of others.

Desire to be understood.

We are attracted to those who encourage our instinctual

drive to be significant. This instinctual reaction influences one’s emotional response to social interaction. This helps each of us to channel, challenge and create those desires, increasing the probability of making a relationship strong.

The feeling of being needed.

At our core essence we are wanting to “feel something”. Women are instinctually drawn to deep feelings and emotional connectedness. This depth of emotion makes us feel “alive”. Men need to “prove” through purposeful achievement or accomplishment. Through purpose there is a feeling of well being and worthy of respect. Valuing, accepting and encouraging each to pursue these achievements fuels pleasure and consumption of future events together.

Worthiness is a necessary component.

Worthiness is a necessary component to feel complete with oneself before we are able to be a partner. By gaining approval first only then can we accept ourselves or another person in the context of a relationship. Success in this area increases testosterone levels which increase confidence, mood and interest that leads to physical intimacy. We like who “we are” when being in each others presence.

Enhance each others freedoms.

Don’t restrict them. Base a relationship on purposeful intention to enhance each’s happiness. Experience “Now”. Become fully grounded in the present moment. By doing so we are more “alive”, more significant and able to fully express ourselves.

Demonstrate respect by being willing to help through valuing, accepting and encouraging to pursue meaningful achievements.

In all relationships the impact of our perception of whether the union provides these seeds of growth will determine success or failure of a partnership.

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Sex is often a mixed-up dance between two people. But sex begins with yourself. And ultimately, your sexual joy begins with your own relationship to something inside you. Sex, and sexual dysfunction is 90% in your head. So when sex is off, either between you and yourself, or you and others, there is some examination that might need to take place. (I’m no doctor, and I have no understanding of E.D. or other medically related sexual issues.)

The 9 Rules of Joyful Sex

1. Much of what happens during sex is very personal (inside an individual’s mind)
2. There is a physical joy that comes from finding a connected and aware partner
3. Even the prospect of sex can awaken all kinds of wonderful chemical changes in the human body
4. Casual sex can contain elements of joy and bliss, but true joyful sex, in my definition, requires two committed partners
5. The discovery and unlocking of your partner’s sexual potential is a lifelong quest (otherwise monogamy would become boring and lead to infidelity)
6. It isn’t possible to get too interested and rapt in your partner’s sexual pleasure
7. When you are in the “flow” of sex you are experiencing a micro-nirvana
8. When sex deteriorates in a relationship it is an indication of deeper communication and commitment issues
9. The free play of joyful sex is as necessary as a good sleep, once you’ve experienced it, you crave it, and are somewhat restless and unsatisfied in life, without it

And I have a few ideas about how to discover your partner’s inner joy while having sex.

• Always approach sex more as play than work or a goal-oriented task (the orgasm is cool and fundamental, but it’s not always necessary for joyful sex).
• Sex can be fast and furious (a quickie) or long an luxurious (afternoon delight: bath, massage, sex, nap).
• One-sided sex is fine, and nice if you can get it. (This is one I’m still working on, how to just lay back and enjoy an event just for me.)
• Sexual energy can be shut down or limited by stress, alcohol, drugs, hunger, exhaustion, worry about work, hyper-focus on the orgasm of either partner.
• Every sexual encounter with another person is an opportunity to unlock some new pathways of sexual joy, both your partners’ and your own.
• The more playful and unscripted sex can become, the more flexible and adaptable your relationship becomes.
• Core sexual satisfaction soothes over all kinds of frustrations and disappointments in life and in your relationship. You still need to talk about any problems in your relationship, but when the sex is “worth it” you will be a better listener and be more committed to the necessary negotiations to keep the other aspects of your relationship healthy.

I don’t know that it is much more complicated than that. If you want joyful sex, you explore and ask for a joyful partner. And when the chemistry is ON you can imagine seeking ever deeper levels of connection with this partner. It’s really more of an attitude than a technique or prowess. If you can find your way to playful sex you can find your way to the inner joy of sex that just might give you a longer life. And a longer life with more joyful sex… well… that may be an enlightened path right there.

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1: Show up smelling like a cigar, without a shower, drunk, and proceed to dance with the bar stool.

2: Use the opening line on a first date: “I normally only date skinny women.”

3: End the first date with, “Will you do ecstasy and have sex with me?”

4: Ask a woman out when you’re already in a committed relationship or married. Seriously. I have to say this.

5: Be on your phone texting throughout the date.

6: Hold your date’s hand during dinner, eagerly listen to everything she says, give her a kiss goodnight, and then completely blow her off for a second date.

7: Ask to borrow money repeatedly. And when she blocks you on her phone, borrow your new girlfriend’s phone and call again.

8: On the first date, show her 50 photos of the scantily dressed beautiful women you’ve dated in the past.

9: Plan a romantic weekend with your girlfriend. Day 1: Enjoy a beautiful night of intimacy. Day 2: Get so drunk you pass out for hours. Day 3: When you wake up, tell her it’s her fault you drank so much, and that she’s not your type anyway.

And last, but certainly not least—

10: After a night of intimacy, make sure there is no cuddling, don’t tell her you enjoyed being with her, and avoid looking her in the eyes after she just opened her entire heart and body to you.

I’ve heard it said that relationships are where people “work out” their issues from the past. All I can say is, I must have had a ton of issues! Each of the above circumstances is either my own dating experience or that of a close friend. While shocking, they collectively and individually taught me something about myself. I learned how to communicate in a non-reactive way. They taught me to love myself first and be true to myself—no matter what. I’m forever thankful for the opportunity to grow as a woman, realizing that I do not need to settle.

No longer will women sit back and allow men (and vice versa) to take advantage of them or treat them with such disdain. We live in a day and age that calls for wider respect, honest communication, and deeper intimacy. Nothing less should be accepted.

Men, I invite you to always be honest with your date. But first, you must be honest with yourself. Why are you really dating? If it’s only for the thrill of a few moments of pleasure, make sure those expectations are expressed upfront. What are your underlying intentions?

Miscommunicated or unspoken expectations will leave your date wondering what just happened when she thought she was building an emotional relationship (even after six months), while you only wanted a physical one. Deep communication—open, honest, and deliberate—is the key to dating and cultivating a relationship that lasts.

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How can we increase the possibility of developing more within a growing relationship and not just a casual dating scenario that leads no where?

We visualize this false perception of being a couple after a few dates when our partner has a completely different idea of what dating means.

We all want transparency. Guessing games become filled with unnecessary anxieties about where we fit within the relationship.

The real life vulnerable moments most are fearful to embrace, block potential success in any relationship.  We hold up walls of insecurities to protect our fragile souls. A first time vulnerable experience opens up inner strength. Embracing this power, we are more open to unimaginable challenges. These emotional risks allow for a complete organic understanding of self, separate from those we are trying to give a false impression.

We begin to use both head and heart in decision making when it comes to being open. With this power of clarity comes great responsibility. Intellectual and rational thought are favored in place of insecurity and fear or anxiety.

Six important points to remember when looking to go from dating to a real relationship.

• Friendship: A sense of friendship is an important foundation for a beginning connection. So often this is what forms the basis for a long-lasting relationship. The mental resonances that deeply matter as well as an emotional one becomes seductive on so many levels
• Intellectual stimulation: The importance of communicating on similar levels opens up a plethora of internal knowledge based on passed experiences, patterns, and how effective we relate to one another on that level. It can be either exciting or boring.
• Commonality in interests, values, stage of lives experiences: Doing together as a unit with respect and admiration captivates the couple to want to be together. How we approach each other in desires and the foundation from which we come from may have an impact on reacting to one another. Understanding the differences may be crucial in being empathetic and supportive.
• Trust: Comfort i feeling safe with that person in our lives allows for the freedom of individual vulnerabilities. The openness allowing the other person into our personal space gives way to a special intimate bond only the two partners can share.
• Clarity: Fear is no longer the enemy of our thoughts. We become empowered, free to express ourselves emotionally, spiritually, physically and intellectually within the boundaries of our new relationship. The consequence may be great but unless we are secure within ourselves and willing to circumvent that potential downfall we’ll never know if our actions may end up being blissfully successful.
• Honesty: The ideal relationship is built on honesty where both partners feel permission to be themselves totally and completely while constantly challenging one another to grow.

The foundation for satisfaction and contentment in a healthy relationship requires willingness to be vulnerable. Opening up our insecurities and fears to someone new without the pre established groundwork typical of a first time date takes strength.

Facing the challenges and being able to unfreeze preexisting anxieties allows for a complete understanding of one’s self. Separate from those we are trying to fool or give a false impression of ourselves. This illusion when first relating to a person is disingenuous. It will eventually be discovered as such and rejection follows.

To help increase probability of going from dating to a relationship requires this deeper core significant level of emotional, spiritual and mutual respectful reciprocation of our differences and willingness to work towards a special connection that is not found in dating alone.

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