One of the greatest debates among parents is whether charging a teenager rent is a reasonable course of action. Upon turning eighteen, many parents begin enforcing a rent policy, while others believe that rent should become part of a teen’s financial obligations once they are employed. Some parents feel that rent is something only non-family members should pay, and thus should never be charged to a family member. So, how does a parent decide whether to put a price tag on something their child is used to receiving for free?
Before charging a teenager rent, it might be wise to take an honest look at your motivations as well as the positive and negative consequences of such an action. The theory behind living under your roof and following your rules might be jeopardized by enforcing a rent policy in your home. Whether you realize it or not, charging rent can actually subtly liberate a teen. In most cases, this newfound level of freedom goes unspoken, but by charging rent, you elevate the teenager’s status. You make them a contributor rather than a complete dependent. Even if the rent is small, the psychological effects of paying rent are significant, and addressing them promptly is key to mitigating any long-term consequences.
The Pros and Cons of Charging Rent
Charging rent can prove to be a valuable lesson. It can teach responsibility, money management, and the relativity between actions and consequences. However, are you prepared to handle the situation if the rent isn’t paid? You are bound to discover just how much your teenager respects your authority when the rent doesn’t show up week after week and they seem unconcerned. Perhaps they believe there will be no real consequences for their actions. If you aren’t prepared to enforce reasonable consequences for non-payment, you risk teaching your child that you are a pushover and that there are ways to avoid responsibility in life. While I don’t advocate actually evicting a child unprepared to face the realities of the world, limiting access to televisions in their room, restricting car usage to work only, and providing only nutritious meals (while removing snacks) are methods of demonstrating that rent must be paid.
Extremism is never a good quality. If you plan to charge your teenager rent when they turn 18, you may need some flexibility on when the first installment is due. For example, if your son’s eighteenth birthday falls in February but he doesn’t graduate from high school until June, it might be prudent to expect the first rent payment two weeks after graduation. This gives him ample time to secure a job, if he hasn’t already, and to explore his options without the added stress of senior year exams. Demanding rent on his eighteenth birthday would prioritize money over his education during his final year of school.
Overcharging is another extreme position. Expecting an eighteen-year-old to pay a mortgage every month is unrealistic. Financial flexibility is important. After all, he’s unlikely to earn more than minimum wage at a part-time job, and if he’s focused on his studies, he can’t work full-time hours.
Not all experts agree with the idea of charging a family member rent. In fact, some argue that this practice, once common, can be detrimental to a teenager’s psyche. We tell our children that they are loved, that they can count on us, and that they are part of a family no matter what. Expecting them to pay for the same privileges they had at 16 or 17 doesn’t always make sense. Many experts believe what you’re really saying is: “You had a home and family that always stood by you, but now that you’re eighteen, the rules have changed, and you must provide financial assistance to continue receiving those same privileges.” Many teens in this age group feel they are being treated unfairly and that rent symbolizes the loss of family security.
Some experts walk a fine line on this issue, which is where I stand as well. When a child is pursuing an education—whether in high school, college, trade school, or technical school—their time at home should be free of financial burden. Their ‘job’ is to focus on their education and future. The world is stressful enough, and there’s no need to complicate things by charging rent simply because the child has turned eighteen. High school dropouts, teens who go straight into the workforce, or those who prioritize fun over responsibility may need a wake-up call about the expectations of adult life. In these cases, not charging rent could enable a lazy lifestyle.
Each family’s situation is different. Charging a teenager rent might seem reasonable to you if your parents did the same when you turned eighteen. Before making such a decision, review your motivations, what you expect to gain from it, and what your child stands to gain (or lose). If you decide to move forward with a rental agreement, ensure that you, as a parent, are prepared to follow through with any consequences you set before accepting rent. After all, this is your child, and teenagers make plenty of mistakes that sometimes require an adult to step in and help them navigate life.
