Ho Ho Ho! As Christmas approaches, millions of first-time parents dress their babies in Santa suits and cute little hats. It’s just too adorable to resist! Next comes the eager shopping for the latest and greatest baby gadgets and toys to wrap and place under the tree, eagerly anticipating Christmas morning. You’re probably reading ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas at bedtime and coaxing them to sit in their bouncy seats, watching It’s a Peanuts Christmas and, of course, the old favorite, A Christmas Story. You may even wonder why they’re crying. Perhaps a tear comes to your eye as you imagine giving your son his first toy gun or your daughter her first baby doll on Christmas morning. Like a child yourself, you can’t wait to lay out the cookies and milk, ready to create some Christmas magic for your baby’s first Christmas. Then, the letdown.
The Realities of Baby’s First Christmas
That Christmas morning you were able to sleep in is ruined when you wake the poor baby up early, just to see what’s under the tree. Of course, forcing them to open presents—which you put so much thought and money into—takes forever, and it’s disappointing, to say the least. They’re much more interested in the wrapping paper and bows than in the gift itself. When you finally unwrap a toy they like, the toy company has fastened it so tightly in the packaging that it takes an hour to get it out. By that time, your baby has lost interest and is in hysterics. Now you see why parents fight on Christmas Day. Patience is neither a wife’s nor a baby’s forte. All the while, your baby is looking up at you, wondering what in the world is going on and wishing you would just take the tree out of the living room so they could have their play space back. Suffice it to say, parents put much more into a child’s first Christmas than necessary, and considering they won’t remember a bit of it, all the hubbub is more about getting a few good pictures than anything else. You’ll realize in hindsight that this was the one Christmas you could have taken that sultry beach vacation, escaping the hysteria of the holidays. But you blew it by being overly excited to share Christmas with a baby. Hindsight is always 20/20!
Five years from your baby’s first Christmas, you’ll be scratching your head in your underwear, watching this same child blow through 20 presents without giving much thought to any of them. They might even complain or whine about what they didn’t get, or make some comment only a child can, making you wish you hadn’t spent a dime. Since they refused to go to bed the night before in eager anticipation of Christmas morning, you were up until the wee hours recreating Christmas magic—and now you’re exhausted. Then there’s family, church, and all the other obligations you’re expected to fulfill on Christmas morning, making getting your child to leave the presents behind feel like a cruel twist of fate—for both you and them. You, your spouse, and the family are buckled into the car, dressed in stuffy clothes that itch, and your mind might start wandering back to your child’s first Christmas—the day you could have taken that Caribbean cruise!
Unfortunately, that’s how it is with parenting. Parents today have the cart so far ahead of the camel that mom and dad are burned out and frustrated before their children even enter school. Around age 10, parents realize that there’s really nothing to give their children because they already have it all. Toys “R” Us came out with laptops for kids this year, and the age range is 5 and up. There are plenty of 40-year-olds without a laptop, but one for a preschooler is being marketed—and worse, SOLD! Then we wonder why our children act the way they do and why we’re so stressed out that we rarely enjoy the holidays.
Here’s the thing: A child’s first Christmas, while uneventful and perhaps disappointing, is just a hint of things to come. This is the time to start doing better and rethinking childhood. Every parent says they want their child to have a better life than they did, and while that’s a great goal, think back to your own Christmases. Were they really that bad? When you got your BB gun or first Barbie, you were thrilled to death, and your parents probably kept the tree up until New Year’s. By the time Christmas arrived, you were so sick of the holiday that you’d start sneaking ornaments off the tree. When Uncle Joey got drunk at Christmas dinner, and you and your cousins compared toys or sneaked peeks at Barbie’s boobs, you were having fun and living in the true spirit of Christmas! It didn’t take much to thrill or excite you.
It’s certainly understandable why parents put so much into their child’s first Christmas, but it might be a good idea to start thinking of it as the parents’ last Christmas for a while. Take the time to be grateful for the new baby in your life, and even more importantly, celebrate your spouse and loved ones. This year, the baby will sleep in the car, and you’ll find plenty of people willing to watch him or her during your family gatherings. If the baby gets fussy, consider removing that gaudy dress or suit you dressed them in and hand them your car keys. After all, that’s what they really want! This is the Christmas you get to finish a holiday meal without wearing half of it, do what you want—whether it’s seeing an R-rated movie or going bowling—and one of the last Christmases that is all about you and your spouse. Take a few pictures of your baby propped up in front of the tree, put tinsel in their hair, and take them to see Santa at the mall if you’re inclined to traumatize them. But don’t forget, your baby is just a baby. Next year, when you have a toddler, Christmas will start to get exciting for both of you. This year, let Christmas be about being grateful and being with the one you love.
