If you’ve ever picked out wallpaper, chances are you’ve experienced a task that is very similar to choosing a wife. Some wallpapers look beautiful and classy but will tire you out after a few months. Others are too colorful, funky, or simply boring and homely. When choosing wallpaper, you’re aware of how difficult it will be to remove one day, so you want it to last. You want it to be good enough that, even though it’s not necessarily permanent, it could still look good on your bathroom walls 30 years from now. That would save you a big mess and a lot of trouble.
Choosing a Wife: A Comparison
So how do you choose a wife? Just like when you select wallpaper, do a lot of shopping beforehand and bring home plenty of samples before applying the glue!
What makes a good wife is open to interpretation. For some, it may be someone who cooks well, keeps the house clean, wants to have children, and doesn’t mind a little craziness in the bedroom. She might even wear a negligee under her apron. For others, it’s someone who reminds them of their mother. In fact, some men are even looking for a mother rather than a wife. Another man may believe that love, romance, and the hot, passionate feelings of dating are enough to seal the deal, regardless of whether she can handle a mop or not. The truth is, before marriage, you may believe that you’re the most liberal man in the world, but once the marital knot is tied, you’ll likely want a woman who can be both a sex kitten and a matronly figure (just not at the same time)!
Choosing a wife is about being able to look ahead. What’s perfect for you right now may not be the same thing in 5-10 years. If you can take a moment to be honest with yourself about what you think makes a good wife, resist the urge to censor your qualifications, and leave enough flexibility for change, you’ll probably get a clear idea of what to look for. Even though you might firmly believe that a woman doesn’t belong in the kitchen, there will come a day when you’ll resent having to rely on takeout. Another aspect to consider is your position on children: whether or not you want them, and how well you deal with them. While your views on this may change, most women are pretty clear about what they want (or don’t want) when it comes to kids. Opening up the discussion early can reveal how compatible your future plans are.
You should also consider finances. What is she like with money? How much does she spend? If you’re a tightwad and she’s a spendthrift, you’re creating a recipe for disaster. Is her financial background a mess? Can she hold a job? Does she like to work? Is she self-absorbed and used to being pampered? The things that annoy you about her now will likely be magnified in the future. Although these may seem like “shallow” issues, they are not. Choosing a wife—or any partner, whether in business or romance—is about seeing beyond the immediate and combining common sense with emotional intelligence. You wouldn’t choose a business partner just because you like them, and you shouldn’t choose a wife based solely on similar qualifications. Building a life together is perhaps the biggest decision you’ll ever make, and it can play a major role in your stress levels, future, and happiness. Be wise!
What else is important to you? Are you the kind of guy who needs sex four times a week? If so, be forewarned that, as marriage progresses, other parts of life can come to a screeching halt. If you’re already constantly trying to convince your lady that you’re not getting enough, take a step back and imagine your life with much less. Pregnancy, childbirth, and the trials and tribulations of marriage can all lead to less sex, and sexual compatibility is important. Most people are born with a certain level of sexual drive, and it’s unlikely to change drastically.
When choosing a wife, you should also take a look at her family. Yep, you’re marrying them too. Furthermore, just because she agrees right now that her mother and brother are “life-sucking losers,” that opinion might not last. If her family has all sorts of weird quirks, traditions, or indulgences, these will eventually become your problem. You need to be clear on what you’re willing to deal with and what you’re not. Often, in-laws and extended family can be the deal-breaker. Right now, your love may feel so strong that you can’t imagine anything coming between you, but take it from married people—blood is thicker than water!
Hmm… all of this may make choosing a wife seem like gloom and doom. The trouble with many couples is that they view marriage as the solution, when in reality, it’s only part of the equation. To achieve something positive at the end of the equation, you have to understand your own formula for what makes a great relationship and what brings you happiness. Sure, your wife—no matter who she is—won’t be absolutely perfect for the rest of your life. But when you realize this and choose a wife anyway, she will make for good wallpaper. While it might seem shallow to talk about women, especially those you love, in these terms, women are facing similar challenges, so you shouldn’t feel guilty. Choosing a wife, if you’re lucky, is something you may only have to do once. You can bet that it’s much harder to get rid of a wife than it is wallpaper, so for now, shop around and bring home your samples.
