It started off innocently enough. A pair of shoes here, a handbag there. Not big purchases by any means. Before she knew it, however, Susan* was out shopping on her lunch break every day. She’d hit the mall and come out with three or four bags full of clothing, often not remembering what she’d bought. Shopping made her happy and gave her a “high,” but in order to keep her husband from knowing how much she spent, she often kept her purchases at the office and brought them home one at a time. Soon, she started circumventing the mail to grab her credit card statements so he wouldn’t see how much she had been spending. Her closets were filled to the brim with clothes she’d never even worn. She knew she was out of control, but didn’t know how to stop.
The Rise of Compulsive Shopping
With shopping often touted as America’s favorite pastime, the number of people facing problems just like Susan’s is on the rise. Compulsive shopping is a growing epidemic, thanks in large part to the easy access to credit cards, as well as the wide variety of television shopping channels and e-commerce sites. While there is little research on the problem, many university studies estimate that between 2 and 8 percent of us are afflicted with compulsive shopping disorder, with 90% of them being women. Many experts argue the number may be much higher.
While many people may laugh at the idea, the consequences, if left unchecked, can be dire. Imagine coming home and finding out your spouse had racked up over $25,000 in credit card debt. That number may seem high, but it’s the average amount of debt carried by a compulsive shopper. Children are neglected, jobs are lost, and marriages are destroyed by this disorder. Retail therapy, as many jokingly call it, is no laughing matter.
How to Recognize Compulsive Shopping
So how does casually hitting the mall on the weekend differ from compulsive buying? How do you know if you have a problem?
Fortunately, there are a lot of indicators that raise a red flag:
- Heading out to shop when you’re sad, angry, or scared, or shopping to reward yourself.
- Feeling a rush, or a “high,” when you shop and spend money.
- Thinking about shopping excessively, especially when you’re not doing it.
- Feeling ashamed and guilty when you’re done shopping, knowing your purchases put you even deeper in debt.
- Lying to your spouse, family members, or friends about your spending.
- Buying multiples of an item, such as the same shoes in 5 different colors.
- Juggling bills in order to handle spending habits.
- Buying items you know you can’t afford.
- Having closets filled to the brim with items, many with the price tags still attached.
Compulsive shopping can affect anyone, regardless of race or income. But why? What causes so many of us to empty savings accounts and take out dozens of credit cards just to hit the shops day after day?
The answer is broad. Therapists are quick to point out that the problem does not lie with income, as so many people think. The root cause is impulse control. No matter how much they make, compulsive shoppers will spend it, overriding the inner voice telling them to stop. From welfare cases to millionaires, compulsive shopping can affect anyone.
Depression also plays a key role. Initial feelings of sadness or low self-esteem are fueled by endless advertisements in our country, all with the same message: “Buy this and you’ll be beautiful, cool, and successful!” Family and friends can also play an influential role. Surrounded by all this, the compulsive shopper goes out and buys, buys, buys, to fill that void. For a while, they feel happy. They have control. But the crash comes quickly once the shopping is over. They know they spent too much, and the void is still there, only now it’s worse. So, before they know it, they’re out shopping again, thinking that this time they’ll find just the right thing to make their negative feelings or problems disappear. Again, once the shopping is over, the crash comes, and the endless cycle of shopping to alleviate the pain of the last crash and day-to-day depression begins anew.
Steps to Overcome Compulsive Shopping
So what can be done about compulsive shopping? It’s important to realize that the longer someone has been compulsively buying, the harder it will be for them to quit on their own. Getting therapy from a professional or joining a support group will go a long way toward ensuring success.
There are also many ways that shoppers, family, and friends can help curb buying habits:
- Pay cash for items and cut up credit cards.
- Let family members shop for you.
- Get your name taken off mailing lists by contacting the Direct Marketing Association (www.dmaconsumers.org) and register with their Mail Preference Service. This will drastically cut down on the amount of catalogs and credit card offers you’ll receive.
- Get rid of the items you’ve bought in the past and don’t need. Ask a friend for help or hire a professional organizer if you have difficulty letting go.
- Don’t go out shopping when you’re feeling depressed.
- Shop late at night, walking in 20 minutes before the store closes to limit your shopping time.
- Shop in smaller stores to limit your options.
- Stay away from your favorite stores.
Spend some time thinking about the money you’ve spent compulsively shopping. Set a savings goal and keep that in mind when you go out. Remember why you are working so hard to not overspend.
Keep in mind that learning about this disorder is key to understanding the problem. Whether it’s yourself you’re worried about, or a friend or family member, placing blame and judging might only exacerbate the problem. Patience, love, and understanding will go a long way. Support groups such as Spenders Anonymous (www.spenders.org) and Debtors Anonymous (www.debtorsanonymous.org) exist to offer help and guidance.
