Real-Life Dating Advice for Teens: Navigating Relationships with Respect and Confidence
Finding adequate dating advice for teens on the internet is like finding the perfect pair of go-with-everything shoes at the store—it hardly ever happens. Teenagers often have so few places to turn for real, down-to-earth advice that won’t lead them into embarrassing situations or force them to make tough choices between self-respect and the “respect” of a potential partner. That’s why we’ve compiled some practical advice for real-life teens.
The first and most important aspect of dating advice for teens is to remember who you are. It sounds simple, even a little condescending, but the truth is, teenagers, young adults, and even some adults in their thirties are still growing and figuring out who they are. Knowing what you want—and more importantly, what you don’t want—puts you ahead of many of your peers in the dating game. If you want someone to treat you with respect, then you need to treat yourself with respect. If you’re seeking an uncomplicated, easy-going relationship, it’s crucial to set some clear boundaries, like deciding not to engage in sex and sticking with that decision.
The Real Purpose of Dating: Learning About Yourself and Others
Dating, by definition, is about setting aside time to get to know someone better and see how they might fit into your life. In practice, this usually involves talking, discovering shared interests, hopefully some laughter, and often a few kisses. Between the ages of 13 and 21, most kissing and other sexually related actions are as much about figuring out what excites you as they are about caring for someone else. Few teenagers experience emotions strong enough to define their sexual activities as purely about love. Instead, it’s often about finding someone you’re comfortable with to explore this grown-up avenue.
Those who wait beyond high school tend to have fewer uncomfortable or regrettable sexual encounters, enjoy longer-lasting relationships, and generally have more meaningful connections. They take the time to build a relationship rather than rushing into physical exploration.
While you’re learning about the other person, you’re also learning about yourself. It’s exciting when someone you like expresses interest in you, especially if you feel they are high enough on the social scale. Despite what adults may say, you may feel eager to discover what all the fuss about sex is. But here’s the truth: sex doesn’t answer questions—it only creates more. If you invest time in developing relationships now, you’ll be much more successful at maintaining healthy relationships later when sexual activity becomes a part of the equation.
Group dates can offer a safety net or, unfortunately, add pressure to go farther than you’re comfortable with—especially if you’re a guy. In society, guys are often viewed as sexually assertive, expected to pursue opportunities and “conquer” their interests. Meanwhile, girls are often taught to resist. When guys go out on group dates with other sexually charged friends, they may feel pressured to push past their comfort zones. If they don’t, they risk being labeled with a “girly” nickname, and the rumor mill will start buzzing. It’s important for guys to realize that it’s not just okay, but it’s actually preferable, to replace the image of a sexually aggressive “hunter” with one of a sensitive and respectful listener.
No matter your age—whether you’re 13 or 18—you should always carry a cell phone with you on dates. You should also feel confident in calling home for a ride if things start to get out of control. Set this up in advance with your parents—agree that a phone call for a pick-up means you’ll meet them around the corner to avoid any unwanted attention from friends who treat relationships like contests.
During the teen years, dating should be fun. It should be about enjoying a date to a party, developing bonds that can last throughout your high school years. It shouldn’t be about sex. Sex, when you’re truly ready, is about a committed and loving relationship that means more to you than you could ever have imagined. Dating is about exploring the adult world without adult consequences. Once you introduce sex into the picture, the consequences become very real—pregnancy, disease, and broken hearts. This is your time to learn how to care for others while still maintaining your personal goals.
While dating advice for teens often encourages waiting until you’re older to have sex, there’s often little explanation beyond “because adults said so.” Whether you’re a guy or a girl, having sex for the sake of curiosity and exploration devalues you and the other person involved. You have to look at yourself in the mirror every day. Every time you make a choice—whether it’s about relationships, friends, school, or family—you want to feel good about those decisions. Having sex too early won’t be as enjoyable as you might think, and it can undermine your ability to feel good about yourself. You deserve the respect that comes from making thoughtful, responsible decisions.
Everything can feel overwhelming as a teenager. Life is complicated, fun, hard, and simple all at once. So why rush into making this time even more difficult? Our best dating advice for teens is simple: Have fun, be safe, and strive to be more than the hype.
