Ah, next to politics, dating is a dangerously delicious game—a genuine test of guts, brawn, and cunning. It’s a true power game that puts everyone’s mettle to the test.
Electoral promises are like romantic promises: made to be broken. Still, who in their right mind could resist the temptation of potentially meeting Mr. Right or Ms. Perfect? Dating is exhilarating; it can even compare to Darwin’s process of natural selection. Or was it Plato’s? No one can deny that dating is the precursor to beautiful relationships. As long as we keep a good head on our shoulders, we should be able to enjoy the benefits of this dynamic process.
Dating Trends
People like to dabble in the dating game, and it’s not solely for romantic goals. Many seek companionship and friendship. Intellectual beings like to spar and trade knowledge, while sports-minded enthusiasts look for someone to cycle with or play a match of love-30 in tennis.
The art of seduction has never been more tantalizing and accessible. We’re spinning with much more verve than previous generations could muster. Can’t find a date? No problem! Step into a restaurant hosting a speed dating session. The internet is a big help too. For a modest subscription fee, you gain access to an inventory of “goods.” With so many options available, you’re likely to pick one you like. It’s a respectable meat market—of sorts.
Knowing how many millions of lonely people are out there, anyone with enough entrepreneurial flair can build a dating website and watch their conversion sales leap. For those serious about finding a significant other who have oodles of cash to spare, there are boutiques that specialize in this service. Their well-heeled customer base is impressive, and their richly decorated offices (are those curtain rods real gold?) speak volumes.
We forget the name, but there’s a very expensive, downright exclusive, and utterly elitist matching service in California that can match, say, an Italian wine producer with an American socialite if requested. Declarations like, “I don’t care if it costs thousands of dollars; just find me that person,” are customary, and you won’t see the order-takers bat an eyelash.
Dating: Dressing in Your Sunday Best
This is also known as putting your best foot forward. In the initial stages, dating is a subtly competitive game with no room for error. First impressions matter—they weigh a ton. The first encounter better be an attention-grabber, because if it isn’t, there won’t be a second time.
Man: I’m an investment banker, but not your ordinary investment banker. My company only services clients with a billion-dollar portfolio. We don’t cater to your typical CEO anymore; they’re a dime a dozen. We refer them elsewhere. What about you?
Woman: I’m a brain surgeon. But I don’t do the entire brain, which is kind of boring after years of practice. I tend to focus only on surgical cases involving the hippocampus. Occasionally, I’ll take on parietal lobes, but they’re not as challenging.
Hmmm…dating has become what Maureen Dowd (Pulitzer Prize-winning New York Times columnist) calls “experiments in identity.” The world has a Dorian Gray, a Great Gatsby, and a Tom Ripley. Ripley’s philosophy was “better a fake somebody than a real nobody.”
Dating is like playing hide-and-seek. The first three to five dates are an exploratory tour. Then you learn to peel off the layers. The dye fades, as does the bragging. If you’re smart and want a sixth, seventh, or many more encounters, you’ll come clean. “Did I say I was an investment banker? I must have been high. No, I meant I want to be an investment banker. I’m a teller working my way up, of course.” If you’ve fallen for this future investment banker because he’s a real gentleman with private school manners that compensate for his Bugs Bunny teeth, you might condone his little white lie and think, well, the point is, banker or teller, he’s still counting other people’s money.
Dating Tips
So, how can we succeed in the dating game? Since we thrive on relationships and want our lives to unfold as fate designed, knowing the ropes can’t hurt. What do the experts recommend?
- I, me, and myself: a big no-no. Unless you’ve won the Nobel Prize for Peace or are a gold medal champion in the Olympics, avoid talking about yourself. Show interest in your date. “What book are you reading these days?” may seem like an overused and corny question, but it steers the attention away from yourself.
- Don’t put too much emphasis on tradition. Yes, men typically pick up the tab, but if you’re a contemporary, liberal-minded woman, offer to split the bill. Your date will appreciate the gesture and may refuse, but he’ll remember it. After all, he too has student loans and car insurance to pay.
- Talk intelligently. Be aware of world and local events and understand issues like global warming. If you keep discussing the rivalry between Britney Spears and Paris Hilton, you risk becoming a bore. Remember, talk ideas, not people.
- Don’t take advantage of your date, even if he claims to be the son of a textile scion. The Ritz Carlton is a glitzy setting, but don’t demand that you be taken there.
- Some things are better left unsaid. If you have a dysfunctional family, don’t volunteer that information—not on the first or second dates, anyway.
- Even if you haven’t had sex in three years, don’t jump into bed on your first date. Keep this advice topmost in your mind.
- Practice safe sex.
- The first few dates should be in a neutral, public place—not your home or his. Be safe or be sorry.
- If you’re the man, call your date the next day to tell her how much fun you had. If you’re the woman, resist the urge to call. Don’t ask us why; it’s just our gut instinct. We’ll repeat: resist the urge to call him, even if you know deep down that he’s Mr. Right.
