It’s inconvenient. It’s messy. It’s troublesome. But most importantly, it’s very common. In fact, among children, bedwetting occurs in 2 out of every 3 children under the age of 4. After the age of 5, frequent bedwetting is called enuresis. It is more common in boys, often starts suddenly, and is not something that can necessarily be “cured” overnight. Bedwetting also involves many issues, both physical and emotional, and must be addressed by parents with both in mind.
Understanding the Emotional Impact of Bedwetting
The first thing to know when dealing with bedwetting is that the emotional ramifications for your child may be more significant than you realize. Children who have been potty trained and suddenly find themselves wetting the bed often try to hide the evidence from mom and dad. If parents react with anger, frustration, or disciplinary actions, the emotional state can worsen—and this can make the bedwetting worse. Remember that bedwetting may signal a problem with your child, but it does not mean that you have a problem child because they wet the bed. For this reason, react first with compassion. Although bedwetting can make your daily routine more difficult, as you learn how to deal with a bedwetter, there are tips and tricks that can help ease the process.
Some common causes of bedwetting or enuresis include drinking excess fluids, drinking especially cold fluids, taking medications before bedtime, an inability or unwillingness to empty the bladder completely before bed, psychological stress, and more serious conditions like kidney or bladder infections. Some of these reasons can be controlled by introducing a new bedtime routine. Pediatricians recommend that children stop taking fluids at least 3 hours before bedtime if they are prone to bedwetting. Yes, this can be difficult, especially when your child is constantly thirsty or is accustomed to going to bed with a glass of milk or water. However, it is necessary so that your child will have enough time to empty their bladder. During this time, remind your child to go to the bathroom every 30 to 45 minutes to ensure they empty completely. Some children, especially boys, may feel the urge to go but are unable to fully empty their bladder. Most of the time, they eventually grow out of this.
Additionally, using products like GoodNights before bed, which are discreet and look very much like real underwear, can be just what your child needs to reduce the emotional stress. If they wear GoodNights, they may feel more relaxed, knowing it won’t matter if they wet the bed because they are already protected. Plus, you can send them to Grandma’s, a sleepover with friends, or anywhere else, and no one else will be able to tell the difference.
Another routine change that may be necessary for dealing with bedwetting is setting an alarm about 4 hours after your child falls asleep so that you can wake them up and get them to use the bathroom. While it may disturb their sleep, this might be the key to helping them develop an internal clock for waking up to use the bathroom. For a while, it will be up to you as a parent to do this, and you will quickly realize that some children may never fully awake for this little bathroom trip, instead going back to sleep almost immediately. When your child wakes up, make sure they go to the bathroom first thing!
If changing their schedule and waking them up during the night doesn’t work, make sure they have a checkup with their doctor. This is just to rule out any urinary abnormalities or infections that may be causing the bedwetting. If the doctor gives the all-clear, try to find ways to help your child de-stress. Often, children who experience high levels of anxiety—whether due to external circumstances or their own personalities—are more prone to bedwetting. This is because stress levels and thought processes can affect the way they sleep.
There are also effective tools available for older children who suffer from enuresis. You can purchase pagers that clip to your child’s undergarments or even GoodNights that vibrate as soon as they sense moisture. These help increase your child’s awareness of when they need to use the bathroom. There are also alarms that can be placed on their bed that do the same thing. In time, the child will wake up when they need to go to the bathroom, initially with assistance, but eventually naturally. Specialty websites also sell sheets and underlays for beds that make cleaning up after bedwetting easier. These products fit right on the bed to protect the mattress, carpet, and sheets, and they are comfortable as well.
One of the most important aspects of dealing with bedwetting is talking to your child about it. Whether they are transitioning out of potty training or your school-aged child is still having issues, they may feel ashamed. Siblings and other people may tease them. It’s essential to educate your child, so they understand that they have a condition. In fact, in most cases, bedwetting in boys is hereditary, meaning their fathers may have had the same issue. Identify with their emotions and make sure you keep the situation private. Sharing it with others while your child is around will only make them feel worse. Most kids will feel better when they understand they have a medical problem, and hearing from YOU that they WILL grow out of it will go a long way in finding a solution to bedwetting. Make sure your child knows they are not alone in this, and that millions of other children face the same issue. And, regardless of how tired you become from dealing with urine-soaked sheets, remain compassionate and calm. Remember, bedwetting is not a problem that requires discipline; it requires understanding and compassion.
