Exactly!!! What is wrong with people??? This is a perfect place to vent because I pestered both my sisters last night about this very topic and I’m pretty sure they are through listening. Last night, I’m sitting watching the new Sean Bean, Robin Hood series, not that great actually, but nonetheless I get a text from the most irritating person asking me what I’m doing; I don’t respond and this female decides to drive 18 miles to my neighborhood and forgetting where exactly my house is barges in on my neighbors peace and quiet (I can see her damn headlights) asking for me. They apparently tell her I live next door. She leaves their driveway and sends this text, ‘I am looking right at your house, eh?’. I am so mad by this point, I want to confront her gigantic ass, but instead I turn my tv off, sit in the dark and watch as her taillights slowly pull away. She then texts me that she ‘is going home’ and pulls back out on the highway. The only thing that kept her gigantic cooch from driving down my driveway is that my gate was closed. I see this person once a year maybe, we are not friends, I went to high school with her years ago. But yet in some fever dream, she shows up at my house?!? I am female as well and have been plagued over the years with several women who basically won’t leave me alone. Two I have blocked on my phone, the third I work with and I have to keep her at arm’s length because she’s an emotional vampire. I’m not excessively friendly because I only enjoy company from a few select people and still these women wanted to bother me. Wtfudge!

Tell her your food is off limits, unless she is buying and paying for meals for your family too. If you feed and take care of her kids, she will keep coming back. Tell her that you work, and are just not up to taking care of her kids at her whim but can make arrangements with her that can work for both of you on occasion, while you agree on how she can reciprocate, like watching your kids so you can go out, if you trust her, or want that. Instead, just say you are sick of being her free babysitter and food source, and need a complete break from it. You need your time and money for yourself and your own kids and she needs to support her own family. These or something in between. You are not her employee, slave or mother, and need for her to do her part.

You need to be direct and explain that you do not wish to have company today, everyday or whenever they decide they wish to stop up. That you would like more time to spend alone with the family/kids or whatnot. You would prefer they ask when a good time for you might be rather than just decide for themselves, and that this is your private home, and you would like to set the pace of who is visiting, how often and when. You may mention your feelings, your experience, or what you would like instead, or tell them you would prefer to invite them over rather than they call to self-invite themselves. You could even offer up how long it has been since they returned the invite to their own homes. They may have just decided to move in on your big screen TV, refrigerator, gaming console, or to raise your children. You may find a way this works if you can use them as sitters, or trade time there with favors you need help with, maybe around the house, errands, or even help in paying for meals. Once they figure out it is not going to be all kicks and giggles, perhaps they will show up less often. Even more nasty jobs like taking out the trash, or cleaning up a playroom you could really use their help with, dusting or running a vacuum may in the end end up equalizing the deal, scaring them away or making you feel like you are getting the most out of their rude dropbys. Suggest they pick up dinner or groceries, amd they pay. Say the big screen doesn’t work but you have a tiny TV that can get a few channels, etc. And if you want to go out alone, tell them you are having a omamtic date nght, just the two of you, or try the Kirby guy is coming, the insurance broker, financial advisor, Mary Kay or Tupperware party hosting for someone else, church group, taking a course and have to study and have quite time for a test, doc appointment, massage. Have them walk the dog to get rid of them, say he likes to go for about 45 minutes, lol. Or just say no. Sorry, not tonight, have to go now. Talk next week.

If only…

(for others, as well as poster, who may read here, since this is an older post)

I have a hard time knowing where you are coming from. You have so many options.

1) Move out and get your own place. Even if it’s small, it will be yours. Do NOT open the door to her at your new place. She must call first. No exceptions. Learn to say no then smile and enjoy your peace.

2) If you really can’t move, and I mean it’s absolutely impossible, do not watch her children. Tell her when she arrives that you will not be watching her children. She can ask ahead of time, and you can decide what you are comfortable with. You are under no obligation.

It *is* your obligation to care for *your* family along with your husband. That means that you have to set your boundaries. Your priority should be your family. You can’t do that when you are living in your mother’s home. Get out and get free. Take a hold of your family’s wellbeing and schedule. Say no and be consistent.

You can’t do anything about the fridge. It is your mother’s fridge, and it is in your mother’s house. Move out and get your own.

I hope you make these changes. If you do not even try, you have no right to complain. You should not be living with your mother, unless she is incapacitated; and if she is, she should be living with you in *your* house or in a home like assisted living or a nursing home.

I wish you well. Above all, pray about everything, use wisdom then take ACTION.