When a divorce occurs, everyone involved goes through a lot of changes. From finding new places to live to deciding who gets the kids at Christmas, the ending of a marriage can cause plenty of upheaval. And all of these changes will also involve your family dogs. More and more couples are discovering that divorce and dog custody can be just as difficult to negotiate as child custody or the division of other assets.
Just Another Asset?
By legal standards, your dog is not the same as your child. To the courts, your dog is simply another piece of property that needs to be divided up in the settlement. However, to most owners, the emotional bond with their dog is much stronger than their attachment to those boxes of CDs or the couch. This means that a judge can’t apply the same legal rules to determine dog custody as they would in a child custody case.
In most divorce settlements involving dogs, the couple must make the decision. However, deciding who takes custody is only part of the battle.
Custody Arrangements
Your divorce settlement can include almost anything that the two former spouses agree on, including arrangements regarding dog custody. You could arrange for sole or joint custody, and even visitation arrangements depending on what works best for the dog and for the couple.
No matter what custody decision is made, it should be focused on what is best for the dog. Here are a few factors to consider when making that choice:
- Location: Before deciding who has custody of the family dog, each person needs to know where they are going to be living. Finding a new place that is pet-friendly won’t always be easy. Additionally, if one former spouse has a fenced-in yard or easier access to a dog park, that might give them an edge in the decision.
- Time: Dogs need to be with their families, so if one of you works long hours or plans on having a very active social life, your pet might be better off with the other person.
- Kids: Because kids require a lot of time and energy, the parent who gets custody of them might want to forgo custody of the dogs as well. On the other hand, if the dogs are very close to the kids, splitting them up during this difficult time might not be the best idea.
- Money: Dogs cost money. If one person is going to be struggling financially more than the other, it makes sense to let the person with more available funds care for the pet.
- Other Pets: If you have two dogs, you might think the best way to handle the situation is to split them up. However, if a strong bond exists between the two dogs, this might upset them.
Of course, compromises can be made depending on how amicable the relationship is between the two of you. For example, one of you might agree to keep the other dog until the other gets settled in a new location.
Usually, sole custody decisions make the most sense. While joint custody might sound like a good idea, you should be realistic. For starters, moving back and forth between homes can be confusing for a dog. They will already be bothered, in most cases, by the change in household dynamics caused by the divorce, so you may not want to risk upsetting them further. Plus, both spouses will eventually move on to other relationships, and maintaining contact with the ex-spouse because of the family dog might not make sense to the new partner.
Other Decisions
In addition to deciding who will have physical custody of the dog, other decisions will need to be made. Because both partners have a responsibility to care for the pet, it makes sense that they should continue to share the costs.
If you decide to share these expenses, sit down with your former partner or your lawyers to iron out what expenses need to be covered. For example, you may want to share the food bills or the vet costs. One spouse might be required to pay for pet insurance to ensure the dog can continue receiving the vet care they need. You could even include grooming fees for some breeds or doggie daycare expenses if the custodial pet owner is gone a lot.
All of these decisions need to be made with the best interests of the dog in mind. That can be difficult during a divorce, but putting the dog’s needs before your own anger will help you feel better in the long run.
With any of these decisions, you may not want to enforce them for the remainder of the dog’s life. Just as joint custody isn’t a good idea because you both want to move on, staying connected solely for the financial care of a pet doesn’t make much sense either. Consider revisiting the dog-related financial terms of the settlement regularly, or set them to expire after the first year of the divorce.
Things NOT to Do
No matter how angry or bitter you are over the divorce, you should never use your dog as a way to ‘get even.’ Keeping the dog just because you know how badly the other person wants them isn’t good for anyone involved. Plus, you should never take your anger at your spouse out on the dog. You may wish you could hit or scream at the other person, but directing that abuse at an innocent animal won’t make you feel better or hurt your spouse.
Also, remember that dogs are legally considered property. So, if you sell or give away the dog just to make your spouse suffer, you could end up being sued.
Even though decisions about divorce and dog custody can be difficult, your dog deserves to have a loving home and all of their needs provided for. Just as your children shouldn’t have to suffer because your marriage is coming to an end, your dog shouldn’t have to either.
