The family dynamic is changing drastically with the influx of technology. Nearly every family member today has some sort of electronic device that connects them to social media or makes them available for constant texts and phone calls.
In fact, cell phones, in general, have made us so available all the time to all the people in the world, that it can be really tough to get a break. Years ago, once you left work, you were gone. If you were grocery shopping, you were unavailable until you got home to hear a voicemail. We could take our phones off the hook. We could go for walks, sit down, and watch television without always being on alert by the constant dings, dongs, whistles, and beeps of our electronic devices, which literally make us constantly on edge.
For instance, when was the last time you sat down with your kids or your partner, or cooked dinner, and heard your phone buzz, tweet, or quack, and didn’t immediately stop what you were doing to see what all the fuss was about? How often do you have conversations with others only for them to be rudely interrupted by a cell phone call, beep, or ding? As if the person on the other end of the phone is more important than the people physically present with us.
The Impact of Constant Connectivity
Everyone would agree that the connectivity we have today makes many things easier. It allows us to stay in touch with our kids, spouses, and extended family. It makes sharing day-to-day life easier than ever. But is it also making us nervous? Is it taking away from our ability to just be, relax, and enjoy our time away from it all without guilt or anxiety?
How many times has someone called you on your cell phone and then texted you, and when you didn’t respond, bombarded you about it later? “Well, I called and texted you, and you didn’t answer!” Is there some unwritten rule of etiquette today that we must keep ourselves constantly available just because we carry devices that allow people to reach us? Far too many people are buying into the idea that our cell phones and other devices take priority over everything else in our lives. We are more worried about not responding to a text than about restoring face-to-face relationships with the ‘actual’ people in our lives—including kids and loved ones.
You hear so many stories about toddlers throwing their mom’s or dad’s phones in the toilets. So much so, that you almost have to wonder if these toddlers are trying to tell us something. Not only are they competing for attention from siblings and life, but they are also competing for attention from their parents, who are often distracted by their phones and technology.
The end result is that many people have forgotten how to relax. Today, more people than ever are taking medications like Xanax and Klonopin, and adults are complaining of attention deficit disorder symptoms. This is likely because we have become so scattered and dependent on technology that we spend our waking hours on edge, waiting for the next ding and whistle, never finishing a sentence or a thought without being interrupted. Maybe instead of turning to anxiety medications and other ways to calm ourselves down, we need to reduce the amount of stimulation we receive on a daily basis.
It is also important to set limits for yourself. If you sit down for dinner, go for a jog, or want to enjoy some time shopping, it is no one else’s business. You are allowed—heck, entitled—to be off the clock, off the horn, and out of the loop for certain periods of time. Just because you have a cell phone doesn’t mean you are obligated to answer every call, every time. You shouldn’t have to explain to others why you didn’t answer the phone or why you didn’t text back. Years ago, when a phone line was busy or you were out and about, people just had to wait. Today, no one wants to wait for anything.
If you have trouble relaxing, sleeping at night, find that your child is hiding your cell phone, feel generally anxious or nervous all the time, or are constantly fidgeting with your phone, then try disconnecting for a while. Turn off the sound, or turn it off completely, and give yourself a few uninterrupted hours each day to do what you need and want to do. Technology is supposed to make us more efficient and effective as people. However, it seems that the opposite is actually happening. Not only are we more nervous than ever before, but we are also constantly on the go, on call, on edge, waiting for the next text or email to interrupt the flow of our daily lives. This continual need to focus and refocus due to interruptions and over-stimulation from social media doesn’t give us the opportunity to just be, breathe, and enjoy the quiet moments in our lives.
Today, one of the biggest complaints people have is that they feel overwhelmed, as if they have so much to do that they can’t think straight. Perhaps the real problem is that we are too invested in our technological strings to afford ourselves the time we need to relax and focus on what’s truly important. Next time your phone dings or dongs while you are in the middle of something—rather than stop everything and rush to see what all the buzz is about—ignore it! Stay focused on what you’re doing and stay invested in the conversation you’re having. Whatever is on that phone will be there when you’re free to check it. And make sure others realize that just because you own a cell phone, it doesn’t mean you have a blinking OPEN sign 24/7. When we relearn to prioritize our lives, chances are good we will feel less overwhelmed and anxious.
