Bedtime can be the worst time of day for many families. So many kids resist the idea of going to bed, resulting in ugly battles. Parents often become frustrated and give in to their children’s protests, allowing them to stay up late or sleep in the parents’ bed or room. Children need to be eased into restful sleep, and too many parents are reluctant to take the time necessary to transition their kids from day to night.
Nighttime can also be frightening for children. I’ll admit, I’m still afraid of the dark myself, and I’m well into my thirties. I also get scared when I have to sleep alone, so I can only imagine how stressful it is for a child to be left in their dark room and told they’ll be seen in the morning. As a tenderhearted mom, I like to make bedtime a lovely, positive experience for my children to look forward to. Does that mean everything always goes smoothly? Of course not, but for the most part, evenings are peaceful in my house.
I like to follow the “B’s of a bedtime ritual.” Read on, and you’ll see where I’m going with this. Below is our nighttime routine:
Bath – Bath time is one of my kids’ favorite parts of the day. I fill the tub with warm water, bubbles, and safe toys. I don’t rush them in and out, and they sit playing happily until they’re ready to get out. They think this is playtime, but I know that the warm water and lavender-scented bubbles are relaxing them, preparing their minds and bodies for slumber.
Brush teeth – This is the next step in our bedtime ritual. It’s important to help small children do a good job of brushing their teeth and to make sure they don’t swallow the toothpaste. I like to lecture them about good dental health while they’re brushing, teaching them what can happen if plaque and tartar build up and erode their teeth. I also prefer to be in control of the toothpaste because, if I give control to my six-year-old, my counter ends up coated in pink goo. Make sure they floss and rinse!
Bed – This is tuck-in time. There are so many ways to make your child’s room comfortable and conducive to good sleep. Soft sheets, a season-appropriate comforter, and a perfectly fluffed pillow make for a comfy nest. And don’t forget about temperature and lighting control. Babies need to be put on their backs on a firm mattress with no soft or fluffy bedding or toys in the crib. Make your kids’ rooms a sanctuary where they feel safe, secure, and happy at night.
Book – Reading a book or two to your children is one of the most beneficial things you can do for them. Not only do they learn the cadence and vocabulary of their native language, but they also get quality snuggle time with Mom or Dad. Some of my best childhood memories are of my Dad reading bedtime stories to us. Make an effort to read at least one book on most nights of the week to your children…and no skipping pages!
Bear – Lots of children like to sleep with a ‘lovey’ or stuffed animal. I happen to like teddy bears. I mean, I did when I was a kid…okay, I still love teddy bears, though I no longer need to snuggle with one to sleep. Some kids have no attachment to an inanimate object, but for those who do, having their lovey in bed with them can make nighttime feel more secure. For babies, however, loveys and stuffed animals in the crib are a no-no.
Ballad – Call it a ballad, a lullaby, or a ditty. Kids love to hear people sing. I sing my kids the same five songs every night, and not very well either. They think I have a beautiful singing voice and love to hear me lull them into la-la land. You don’t have to sing five songs, and you don’t have to sing well, but experiment with different sweet tunes to see which ones your kids enjoy.
The “B’s” of bedtime you’ll want to avoid:
Battles – Nobody wants to go to bed angry or feeling bad about themselves. Even if things go a little rough some nights, try to stay calm and use a quiet voice when redirecting your kids back to the bedtime routine.
Bawling – Don’t force the issue when it comes to the bedtime routine if your child is having an off night. Sometimes a snuggle on the couch in a darkened room is enough to help your child get it together and get back on track.
Ballyhoo – No parent enjoys trying to settle down a bunch of hyped-up kids. Avoid, at all costs, allowing your children to consume sugar, caffeine (which they have no business having anyway), or other behavior-modifying foods or beverages before bed. It might be my imagination, but any time my oldest daughter eats or drinks anything with red dye, she goes wild. While it’s entertaining to watch her act like a goofball, it doesn’t make for easy settling at the end of the day. You’ll also want to avoid stimulating activities such as television, video games, wrestling, and the like, which put the kids into overdrive.
Berating – If your kids are goofing off and you are in a bad mood, and nothing seems to be going right, avoid losing your temper with your children. Just because you want them to get settled so you can have time to yourself doesn’t mean you should chew them out. Keep your head in the game and push through the routine in a calm, respectful manner.
Someday, your kids will understand the value of bedtime and the benefits of a great night’s sleep. If they only knew how much most adults look forward to hitting the sack every day! Enforce the bedtime routine and set the standard for a lifetime of good rest for your children.
