What are family values? When politicians leap to the podium and begin talking about restoring family values, which values are they referring to? Family values can mean many different things to different people. So, what does it mean when we leave family values in the hands of politicians?
Some attribute family values to basic biblical principles, while others focus on discipline and the responsibility that comes with becoming an adult. Many people claim that today’s parents are too soft on kids, and that society has become over-sensitive to children. Some believe that spanking a child in public is a parental right, while others argue that spanking is abusive and teaches fear and violence. Who is right?
Some interpret the meaning of family values to be the value of family, as in traditional families with a mother, a father, and the family dog. Others interpret family values to mean the importance of providing children with a warm, safe place to learn and grow, where they can return every day from the outside world, know they are loved, and learn to be responsible adults.
The True Meaning of Family Values
By interpreting family values as a definition of what others believe is the “right kind” of family, who are we really hurting? We certainly aren’t hurting the adults in the family. When we point to a single-parent family, an interracial family, a homosexual family, or any family that someone’s imagination has decided isn’t the “proper” family, and we deny them the right to be considered a family, it’s the children who suffer. The children’s self-esteem and sense of identity in the world are damaged, and they learn to hate each other for decisions their parents have made.
Family values should be about the quality of the family. That means principles of love, tolerance, acceptance, responsibility, safety, and the family’s ability to do the right thing, both in the world and under their own roof.
Family values lie in the hands of every individual family. It is up to them whether they choose to provide positive or negative influence on the world. Every day, people have the power to teach their children to be positive influences, or to teach them negative behaviors. Families with strong family values are those that motivate their children to be positive forces in the world, and lead by example.
When politicians make promises of restoring family values, how exactly do they propose to get into the heads of every parent and affect them enough to teach their children to be stronger, better, and kinder? By telling them they aren’t the “proper” type of family? Family values are up to each individual family, not the political system. Family values are a matter of free choice. While there may be those who oppose the values some families possess, there is simply no room for the open criticism of families that don’t fit the nuclear family definition.
The moment a judgment is made that creates a “right family” and a “wrong family,” opposition heats up. Defiance and cause-driven protesting begins, and people get so lost in defending their right to be a family that the core principles of family values are forgotten by both sides. Attacking people for loving their children because they don’t fit a political framework is, in fact, ridiculous. Political decisions and political values tend to appeal to only one sector of the community.
By allowing the government to decide what the correct moral code for family structure is, we are handing our basic freedoms back into the hands of governmental policies. Our freedom of choice, freedom of speech, and freedom to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness are all placed in jeopardy the instant politicians define a family.
There is no denying that there is a crisis in the United States when it comes to family structure. But the crisis is not one that is tied to white Christian politics. One half of the country is too busy trying to make enough money to make ends meet and provide food for their children to be home to discipline them. The other half is recruiting the help of reality television to teach them how to discipline their own children because they don’t know how. Society has become so sensitive to over-disciplining children that parents are being beaten up by their 5-year-olds and doing nothing about it.
I’m certainly not advocating beating children, nor do I claim that spanking solves disciplinary problems. But I do believe that family values come down to teaching children right from wrong—no matter how many parents are in the household, what color they are, what their income level is, or how many of each gender there are. Discipline is a form of teaching. Teaching children right from wrong and the obvious consequences of both actions is sorely lacking in our society. This is an issue that parents, not the government, need to address.
One Response
first parents have to teach themselves first …….. like if parents involves themselves in swinging,affair relation then children are not going to respect. you can set boundary and that will drive their children away more.