An argument with a teenage girl can leave a parent exhausted and considering the benefits of boarding school. Girls, by nature, tend to be dramatic and complicated. They often lose their ability to communicate effectively when they are angry, and this can lead to irrational behavior. While these traits are not indicative of every teenage girl in the world, they are fairly common among most teenage girls. If your daughter can argue reasonably and without turning into someone you simply don’t recognize, then consider yourself extraordinarily blessed. However, if your daughter reverts to an alternate personality and can’t seem to string together basic logical reasoning, you’re probably just an average family.
Managing Arguments and Emotions Effectively
Arguing is essentially two or more individuals passionately presenting their viewpoints without being able to control their emotions. When emotions run high, poor listening skills are exacerbated, and logical thinking becomes much harder to maintain.
When a teenage girl becomes impassioned about something—whether it’s staying out late at night or feeling she’s been unfairly punished—she tends to feel her emotions deeply. Teenage girls can struggle to maintain the level-headed nature they may normally have. Reducing the friction during an argument can be a tricky task.
Time-outs aren’t just for little kids. They’re moments we all need in order to regain control of our emotions, present ourselves better, and maintain a reasonable perspective. As arguments escalate, there’s nothing wrong with insisting that both of you take a time-out. A few moments alone to restore your sense of order may very well play a vital role in resolving the situation more quickly—without many harsh words being exchanged.
However, with some individuals, time-outs tend to backfire. Instead of using the time to calm down, they sit and talk themselves into an even stronger rage. They fester on the issue at hand, as well as other unresolved issues, and by the time you try to speak with them again, they’re ten times angrier than they were before.
Finding creative avenues to express overwhelming emotions can lead to more productive communication. Teenagers are constantly overloaded—restricted by rigid schedules, high expectations, and external pressures. They’re often just one step away from a dramatic outburst. Add in the surge of hormones, and teenage girls are like a time bomb of tightly wrapped emotions, just waiting to unravel. Teaching them to unload their emotions before they become overpowering can open up communication channels that were once completely unexpected.
Encouraging teenage girls to express their emotions appropriately before they escalate into something explosive is beneficial for everyone involved. You’ll find yourself less likely to rip out your hair in frustration, and they will learn more effective methods of communication. The entire household will begin to breathe easier as the constant turmoil starts to subside.
One of the biggest mistakes parents make with volatile teenage girls is backing off on limit-setting for the sake of peace. While it’s important to pick your battles, maintaining your parental role is still crucial. The rules are the rules, and they need to be enforced—even when you’re completely drained, and you know that rocking the boat will result in fireworks. Maintaining your authority will eventually convey the message that behaviors like yelling, cursing, slamming doors, and pounding walls don’t produce results—they only lead to negative consequences. It will be difficult, especially when you’re tired or stressed from other aspects of life, but it will be well worth it as you teach your daughter how to keep her emotions in check.
Effective arguing with teenage girls requires creativity and resilience. Arguing isn’t necessarily a bad thing; losing control of emotions and becoming spiteful and hurtful is. Teenage girls need clear boundaries when it comes to arguing. They must learn how to express their wide range of emotions without causing harm to others. Once they master this skill, their extraordinary passion can become one of their greatest attributes.
