Just the idea of finding Mr. Right can cause extreme worry, stress, dread, and the occasional pit-pat of butterflies that signal perhaps, maybe, sort of, and finally, a man has come into your life who might be — perfect! Could it really be true that there is a man on the planet who doesn’t disgust you so far beyond comprehension that he could be considered Mr. Right? The answer lies in how willing someone is to be Mrs. Right!
Finding a soul mate is the oldest quest of humankind. Humans are not solitary beings born to tread the surface of the Earth with only their own thoughts and feelings. The way humans feel and experience emotions makes them the perfect creatures to experience love with another. If this is true, then why do so many women and men wander alone, completely unable to find that one single person whose heart is imprinted with their name?
Finding someone to love is easy. Finding someone who makes you happy, makes you smile, and can break your heart with one word is easy. Finding someone whose body feels good, who looks good, and whose companionship is fun is also easy. What is difficult is finding someone who is all of these things wrapped into one, without any of the negative side effects that people always seem to cause. It stands to reason that in order to find Mr. Right, Mrs. Right must have evolved from the dreamy young girl who romantically imagines that love will solve everything, to a mature woman who can see the forest for the trees! Being realistic is essential to finding Mr. Right in a world where so many things can go wrong.
Steps to Finding Mr. Right
The first step to finding your soul mate, otherwise known as Mr. Right, is to find yourself first. Spend enough time getting to know who you are, what your aspirations and dreams are, and what qualities it takes from others to make you truly happy. Remember, you must first be happy alone before you can even consider happiness with someone else. Once you know yourself and have spent some time being yourself by yourself, you will be able to quickly identify people who will fit into your world. Oftentimes, the perfect perceived companion turns out to truly wreck the foundation of life you’ve built from your inner core of thinking. Ask yourself whether the heartbreak is because you loved someone deeply, or if you’re simply devastated by your own disappointment. Each relationship with Mr. Wrong has played the role of teacher in your life. Take what you can learn and graduate to the next level with a sense of pride and accomplishment. If you do not or cannot do this, you will keep bumping into men who only offer you the same lesson.
The second step to finding Mr. Right is to realize that you can control your reactions, actions, thoughts, feelings, and emotions, but you cannot control someone else’s! People behave the way they do because of themselves, not because someone made them do it. Whether Mr. Right acts poor or perfect is in no way a reflection of your self-worth. What you can do is learn to control how you react and the path your emotions take. Some things can be overlooked, while others point to character flaws that your inner self will resist. Listen to how you feel and what you think in your own mind, and take cues from your own intuition. Most of the time, someone starts out feeling like Mr. Right, but in due time, your thoughts will tell you the truth. Pay attention. So many people ignore what they feel for fear of being alone. It is much worse to feel alone in a relationship than to feel alone by yourself!
The third step is to realize that every person, including you, has flaws. People snore, curse, are rude, and chew with their mouths open. After the relationship cools off, both partners become relaxed in a comfort zone that can be more than appealing. This is a glimpse at married life. Decide what you can live with and imagine yourself sitting next to your pot-bellied, hairy, couch-potato boyfriend for the rest of your life. Does his vast ability to relax annoy you to your core, or do his other qualities somehow make up for his lacks? The answer truly defines whether or not this one is Mr. Right. If you feel that you can live with his dirty underwear on your bathroom floor for eternity because his thoughtfulness and love are so great, then you finally know what it feels like to have found Mr. Right!
Finding Mr. Right is not so much about finding the perfect man, because there isn’t one. As life changes and new situations and circumstances present themselves in relationships, new identities and qualities in the people we love arise. Some we like, some we don’t. The key is learning to love yourself first and to love your partner as an enhancement to your life. If the people we’re with cause us more pain, turmoil, and stress, and our minds are constantly wandering to thoughts of how to get rid of this person, chances are it’s best to move on sooner rather than later. Ending a relationship is in no way a failure. The older we get, the more successful we should be at finding people who enhance our lives in some way and whose qualities we can love, despite their irritating traits. Finding Mr. Right is not about finding Mr. Perfect. The perfect person for any of us may be one who, like us, is full of flaws yet someone we can still love deeply, that part of us that is satisfied. Finding Mr. Right is an individual treasure hunt that should always be led by the powerful intuition, emotion, and gratitude that drive our being.
