A first wedding anniversary can be incredibly exciting, or it can feel tentative and mild. Some people become so enthralled with the idea of having an anniversary to celebrate that they go all out for the first one, inviting everyone who was at the wedding to come and celebrate. Others may view it as the end of the honeymoon period and expect things to become more difficult, as though there’s a magical moment that will suddenly alter the marriage after the anniversary.
Setting the Tone for Future Celebrations
Celebrating this unique and special milestone together can be enjoyable and stress-free, provided you follow a few simple guidelines and remain flexible. Whether you opt to travel (for some couples, their first anniversary serves as the honeymoon they couldn’t afford when they got married), celebrate intimately, or have a large celebration, the key to success is ensuring that you both want the same type of celebration. When one person is busy planning a big party with a guest list and the other is hoping for a quiet dinner for two at a nice restaurant, it’s bound to lead to some clashing expectations.
The first wedding anniversary sets the tone for future anniversaries. While you may travel some years and stay home in others, or make a big deal about certain milestones and quietly exchange a few gifts on other years, the first one is when you begin creating traditions that may last a lifetime. For example, one couple started what they referred to as their “anniversary walk” in their first year. It was simply a walk—one mile for every year they had been together. They challenged themselves to see how many miles they could add to their walk. Along the way, they reflected on the changes they’d gone through, the lessons they had learned, things they would have done differently, and the blessings they shared. By their last count, they were up to five miles and were planning to add a sixth. Of course, someone joked that by their 20th anniversary, they may need to plan a three-day hiking and camping trip to cover what once only took ten minutes!
As your anniversary approaches, discussing expectations on both sides is usually an easy conversation. However, just because one person is more interested in making a big fuss over the day doesn’t mean that the marriage means any less to them. The more excited partner may be focused on the food, the party location, and who should make the toast—sort of reliving the wedding reception. Many people will admit that their wedding day felt like a blur of emotions and events, where they didn’t feel like active participants but rather spectators in a surreal event. For many, especially women, there’s a desire to re-experience the magic of the reception when the emotional highs didn’t cloud their memories. There’s something magical about the reception, and couples often feel as though everyone else had a better time than they did. They may wish to relive that magic, only to be disappointed by either a lack of enthusiasm from their partner or the absence of the same emotional energy from their guests. After all, it’s no longer the wedding day, and people can’t force the same authentic excitement they felt earlier.
