Professor's House

Flirting Online – Be Careful What you Say, and to Who

Today is Wednesday and you decided to take the day off from work. While fumbling around the house you decide that you will play online for a few hours to kill time and relax. As soon as you log in, your partners email beckons you with a blinking light that says “you’ve got mail!” Do you open it and read the emails or do you just let sleeping dogs lie? Eventually curiosity gets the best of you and you decide that taking a peek won’t hurt a bit! There it is- an email from an online buddy that includes some elusive message that is clouded with flirtatious and sexual undertones. It seems your beau has been flirting online. Now what?

The first thing to do is calm down! As technology has made interfacing with strangers easier and less threatening there is more and more flirting and fantasy going on online than ever before. It used to be that we had to wait for someone to find us attractive and interesting in person in order to get in the fun and entertaining game of flirting. Unfortunately, the physical presence of people can make taking flirting to the next level very easy. Online flirting usually involves less danger of corrupting the stability of a relationship or sparking a real life affair. Honest people realize that no matter how much they love their partner; all people have desires, fantasies and thoughts about other people. This is a perfectly natural part of being human. Most of the time these thoughts are kept under wraps and remain perfect little secrets in ones mind. The online world has simply opened a door to flirting that is easier and much less problematic for a real life relationship.

The other thing to realize is that the majority of people are doing it. You never want to be the pot calling the kettle black. Even the inadvertent smiley face to a colleague of the opposite sex can erupt into a flirtatious game of online chatting or email sequences. Beneath the cool and monogamous exteriors that most people portray there is an innate sense of longing for excitement, exploration and a little voyeurism that can result in some harmless flirting online. Yes, it is painful to happen across a portion of an online conversation your beloved has been having with another person; but then again we shouldn’t be snooping. Some person that lives 2,500 miles away is really no threat (at least for sane people) and flirting online should not be looked at as a deal breaker in a serious and committed relationship. Chances are in these modern times that both partners have in one way or another flirted with someone online.

There are a great many people who may feel or think that flirting online is the equivalent to having an affair. Often it is easier to share intimate details whether true or fabricated through the circuitry of the internet than it is with our most dear companions. It is also easier to live out a life online that skirts the real world responsibilities and burdens that people carry with them everyday. Flirting online can be an outlet and can often be a way to keep a relationship completely monogamous and exciting. The unknown mystery of the person that you are flirting with can bring back those sweet 16 feelings of panic and flitter that often dissipate in real world relationships. In most cases both of the people flirting online have full, happy and content lives that leave very little room for another person to enter. Remaining realistic is key!

There are Rules to Flirting Online

Obviously, there is a limit and boundary to the flirting. When or if it goes too far and begins to develop into something more serious than just a virtual escapade it has crossed the line of being okay. If this happens then truth be told; there were problems in the relationship before. The online escapade may have just brought the whole situation to a head.

In order to be a successful dater in life it is necessary to understand that flirting in all respects is something most people do every day of their life. It is part of being social in many cases and as the world has become more lax in allowing sexual innuendos and comments to become mainstream; flirting in all forms happens more and more. Even our dogs willingly flirt with other dog owners or human friends and this never stands to compromise their loyalty. No matter where someone goes, if they carry themselves with a happy and social disposition they will encounter some form of flirting. The online kind is probably the most harmless. For many people flirting online can even be therapeutic and a way for people to communicate with one another without the fear of being rejected in person.

Dating someone is one of those things that leave a lot of questions unanswered. No one is every sure what the next week, month or year will bring and it is usually best to go about picking your battles in order of importance. Much too often people believe or think that just because they are with someone that that person will no longer be interested in sneaking peaks or flirting with someone else. Nothing could be further from the truth. If a little bit of flirting online (within reason) is tolerated it can actually be laughed about and serve to strengthen the relationship that two people have with one another. There are a great many relationships that each person needs to develop and have in life in order to be completely fulfilled and feel as though they are not alone. No one person can be everything to someone else. In many cases – harmless flirting online can bring up the slack and provide both partners with lives that are totally satisfying which can actually go very far in keeping the relationship monogamous and loving.

Now that you have witnessed the extent of your partners flirting online firsthand the best thing to do is turn off the computer and vow to never be nosey again. After all – how would you feel if your partner did the same thing to you and what per se might they find in your online history and directory? Take to heart that flirting online may actually be preventing a cheating heart to actually physically cheat and that the person on the other end may in actuality be doing you a favor! By keeping things in perspective life will always be better!

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