Ten years ago, parents debated whether reading their teen’s diary was an invasion of privacy. Today, the diary has largely been replaced by a Facebook page. Many parents, especially those less familiar with the internet, may not fully grasp the consequences of their child posting inappropriate content online. The tragic case of a Rutgers freshman who announced his suicide on Facebook underscores the importance of monitoring children’s social media activity, a step many families later wished they had taken.
Over 100,000 middle and high school students have reported being cyberbullied or cyberbullying others on Facebook. This can involve hacking accounts or posting private, humiliating content about a “friend” for the world to see. With teens immersed in a virtual world, messages, pictures, and videos can spread rapidly through a community.
For many teens, Facebook is a numbers game. Accepting friend requests from strangers is often just a way to boost their friend count. This can expose their activities to an entire school—or beyond. Since few filters prevent others from tagging a child in embarrassing posts, it’s critical for parents to monitor their child’s Facebook page.
Facebook sets the minimum age for creating an account at 13, assuming this age brings sufficient maturity. However, many younger children create accounts by falsifying their birthdates, often without parental knowledge. This can be done in seconds.
Staying Involved in Your Child’s Online World
If you’re unsure whether your child has a Facebook account, create one yourself and search for their name. Most children don’t enable privacy or security settings, making their posts, pictures, and videos visible to strangers. For many, it’s a race to gain the most friends, leading them to accept requests from unknown individuals, including unmonitored peers.
If your child has an account you weren’t aware of, searching their name will likely reveal it, often with a profile picture. If you find concerning content, you can report the page to Facebook using the “report a page” button. By providing valid credentials and explaining that you’re the parent, you can prompt moderators to remove the page quickly.
For 82% of parents with children on Facebook, the account’s existence is known. But does following your child’s Facebook infringe on their privacy? Experts in cyberbullying and internet safety say no. They argue it’s a parent’s right and responsibility to ensure their child’s online safety. Teens may post sexual details or engage in typical adolescent behavior, perceiving Facebook as consequence-free. However, this is far from the truth. Parents can learn much about their child and their friends by regularly checking their Facebook page. The Coalition for Keeping Teens Safe Online recommends daily monitoring.
Take a few minutes each day to review your child’s profile and friend list. Initially, do this with your child to discuss why certain posts or pictures—whether theirs or their friends’—are inappropriate and could have serious consequences. Teens often lack the foresight to anticipate risks, and it’s your role to guide them. They may roll their eyes or claim you “don’t understand,” forgetting you were once a teen yourself.
Resources like noslang.com can help you decode slang and texting terms children use on Facebook to obscure meaning from parents.
If you see objectionable content from your child or others, you can have it removed immediately and block problematic individuals from your child’s friend list. The blocked person won’t be notified.
Once your child knows you’re monitoring their page, they’re likely to keep it free of inappropriate content. However, be aware that in nearly 50% of cases, children may post content and block their parents from seeing it. To counter this, monitor their page directly from their account, not yours.
Befriending your child on Facebook and commenting regularly signals to other teens that an adult is watching, reducing the likelihood of inappropriate posts or targeting. While parents may seem “uncool” in teen culture, this visibility can protect your child.
If your child is 13 or older and wants a Facebook account, consider allowing it, but ensure they set it up in your presence. Always know their login and password. Be aware that children may create alternate accounts or block you from certain posts. This is one of many reasons to check their account daily.
Setting parental controls on your child’s computer is crucial, as is monitoring the pages they visit and the content they post. Ultimately, keeping your child safe online is your responsibility as a parent.
